


the society of aggressive homosexuals

by johnil



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Coming of Age, Deaf Character, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Everyone Is Gay, Families of Choice, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Teenagers, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, chatfic, everyone loves jaemin, hyuck is hard of hearing, jaemin has anxiety lads, jaemin loves everyone, kind of, mark is trans!!!, nctrans, typical teen angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 33,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnil/pseuds/johnil
Summary: jisung: What, You Egg?mark: [he stabs him]injun: i want to go HOME.(or, six gays plus one very straight mark lee take over a peaceful group chat.)





	1. let’s get this bread

**Author's Note:**

> i’m back at it again with another thing that i hopefully won’t abandon!!! enjoy

_jeno:_ (distant screaming)

 

 _lele:_ MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM W

 

 _injun:_ for the love of GOD when i asked for help with my finance homework chenle i didn’t mean this

 

 _injun:_ not this

 

 _injun:_ anything but this

 

 _lele:_ Then you will die for your cowardice.

 

 _donghyuck:_ that’s so fucking ominous lele PLEASE

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m adding the new kid to the gc!!! PLEASE be normal. i’m BEGGING you

 

 _mark:_ which new kid

 

 _mark:_ i wasn’t informed of a new kid

 

 _donghyuck:_ not my fault you went to college instead of purposefully getting held back to stay and graduate with us mr. lee!

 

 _mark:_ YOU’RE mr. lee

 

 _mark:_ JENO’S mr. lee

 

 _mark:_ half of the population is mr. lee be specific

 

 _mark:_ anyways tell me about this new kid. which clique is he in

 

 _jisung:_ he joined gsa with us and i think i saw his name on the dance team

 

 _donghyuck:_ THE FUCK YOU DID

 

 _donghyuck:_ HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DANCING YET HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL GHSDJFJNG

 

 _injun:_ god hyuck will you ever shut up about this supposed pretty boy

 

 _lele:_ his name is na jaemin he’s new he’s allegedly been hyuck’s best friend for YEARS but we’ve just now been alerted to his existence

 

 _jeno:_ he was in the hospital for a hot minute

 

 _donghyuck:_ (about a year)

 

 _jeno:_ now he’s back and he’s transferring here so yay??

 

 _donghyuck:_ YAY!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ now he’s not good with people so be nice and don’t be. don’t. don’t be your usual crackhead selves

 

 _lele:_ EVER AGAIN?

 

 _donghyuck:_ give it time

 

**_donghyuck has added nana to the chat!_ **

 

 _mark:_ hi!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ jaemin this is the gsa plus mark he’s dumb

 

 _mark:_ i’m not dumb i’m just in college now

 

 _donghyuck:_ (he’s dumb)

 

 _donghyuck:_ so this is everyone!!! we’re also all (minus mark) on the dance team, which apparently you’re on despite the fact that UR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE but It’s Cool

 

 _nana:_ SORRY

 

 _nana:_ hihihi i’m na jaemin and i have scoliosis

 

 _injun:_ we know hyuck won’t shut up about you

 

 _nana:_ AW

 

 _nana:_ and sorry about the dance team hyuck the guy who wanted me to join was really cute and i couldn’t say no he had the cutest smile i melted

 

 _lele:_ ok he passed the test hes a real gay!!!!

 

 _hyuck:_ wait who was it

 

 _nana:_ idk i think his name was jeno or smth

 

 _hyuck:_ HGKJSNHDFKJNSAHKGNSHAHFKJSHNAKGSNHDKFNHK

 

 _jeno:_ Hello friends i am here!

 

 _nana:_ Oh No

 

 _jeno:_ Goodb  y ;;e friend si  am gggone,,

 

 _nana:_ SORRY

 

 _hyuck:_ that’s jeno. he’s gay

 

 _mark:_ this is honestly the best thing to happen to me all week. welcome jaemin

 

 _nana:_ hgdfnskjdg

 

 _hyuck:_ everyone introduce yourselves to jaemin because i know him and  he’s Not gonna ask

 

 _mark:_ i’m mark lee!!! i go to the local uni nd im majoring in business and entrepreneurship hehe. i do. music stuff. i guess

 

 _mark:_ i’m straight

 

 _hyuck:_ he’s bi

 

 _mark:_ i’m STRAIGHT

 

 _hyuck:_ he’s biiii!

 

 _mark:_ also i’m trans c:

 

 _injun:_ cursed emoticon mark. thank you

 

 _injun:_ hi i’m huang renjun/hwang injoon nd i’m from china!!! i’m a senior, i hate everthing, i love my dogs, i like art, and uh i do ballet nd stuff

 

 _injun:_ i’m gay ://

 

 _lele:_ why are u sad…. being gay is great…… i can just. push over mark whenever i see him and say it’s gay privilege

 

 _mark:_ see SOMEONE acknowledges i’m straight

 

 _hyuck:_ He Likes Boys

 

 _lele:_ hi i’m zhong chenle and i’m from china too

 

 _lele:_ i like to sing and dance obv and i like being gay :)))) i’m a junior, 17

 

 _jeno:_ im lee jeno and i like singing and playing the guitar. also i’m bi and i love my girlfriend <3 i’m a senior and i’m 18

 

 _donghyuck:_ i Know u know me but i wanna feel special so :))

 

 _donghyuck:_ im lee donghyuck, im a senior, 18, uh

 

 _donghyuck:_ im hard of hearing c: and i like to sing but i can’t sing so. uh i’m big gay!! and i am an angel

 

 _jisung:_ you’re literally a demon

 

 _jisung:_ AND you have one of the nicest singing voices i’ve ever heard so What’s The Truth…

 

 _jisung:_ hi i’m jisung im a sophomore i’m 16 i like to dance and yes

 

 _mark:_ jisung doesn’t talk much

 

 _mark:_ he likes cuddles. Remember This

 

 _nana:_ noted

 

 _jisung:_ I DO NOT LIKE CUDDLES.

 

 _nana:_ noted

 

 _donghyuck:_ he likes cuddles

 

 _nana:_ you Fools

 

 _lele:_ you come into my house? you call ME a fool? do you know who i am, son? do you know how much power i have?

 

 _nana:_ ok chan

 

 _lele:_ MY NAME IS CHWNLE

 

 _nana:_ ok chan

 

 _donghyuck:_ the hospital changed jaemin

 

 _donghyuck:_ he was an angel nana what happened

 

 _nana:_ u took the only good food i ever got

 

 _donghyuck:_ IT WAS A PUDDING CUP. IM SORRY

 

 _nana:_ it was the only pudding cup i ever got from them

 

 _nana:_ and you STOLE it

 

 _donghyuck:_ IM SORRY……

 

 _injun:_ jaemin is only further solidifying the case

 

 _injun:_ you are a demon

 

 _lele:_ stop trying to use fancy legal terms you’ve never even taken law and justice

 

 _injun:_ come back to me when you have five tons of finance homework kid

 

 _lele:_ i will slaughter you. fool. this is the last time you make a mockery of me in my own home.

 

 _nana:_ is he normally like this?

 

 _jisung:_ yeah it’s some weird power trip

 

 _lele:_ jisung i’d threaten you but ur like   . a baby

 

 _jisung:_ i’m three months younger than you

 

 _lele:_ Baby

 

 _jisung:_ i Will hurt you

 

 _lele:_ infant. tiny infant. with tiny infant hands

 

 _jisung:_ is chenle still in the library or did he go with jeno to the civics room?

 

 _jeno:_ library. crush him

 

 _lele:_ BYE JAEMIN IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU I HAVE TO GO RUN FROM A SEVENTH GRADER BYEHNSJ

 

 _jisung:_ That’s Right. Run.

 

 _nana:_ i’ve known this gc for less than an hour but if anything happened to any of you i’d kill everyone and then myself

 

 _mark:_ aw that’s gay

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark. you’re gay

 

 _mark:_ I’M STRAIGHSJNHGKJDFNHKJGHDJFNHK

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **_private chat between donghyuck_ ** **_and nana!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ so was it okay? youre not freaked out anymore?

 

 _nana:_ no not really

 

 _nana:_ i embarrassed myself in front of jeno hgsjdfnhjnh but everyone’s really nice and funny and i look forward to getting to know them better

 

 _donghyuck:_ you just wanna flirt with jeno

 

 _nana:_ NO I DONT

 

 _nana:_ he scares me now

 

 _donghyuck:_ HOW

 

 _nana:_ he’s so ominous….. i feel like he’s batman or something

 

 _donghyuck:_ lee jeno. aka batman

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m losing my shit thank you so much

 

 _nana:_ stop laughing at me :(((

 

 _nana:_ anyways my mom’s calling me for dinner i gtg!!! bye love you

 

 _donghyuck:_ MWAH love you too

 

 _nana:_ and don’t think for a second that i don’t realize mark is the cute boy you’ve been gushing to me about for the duration of my hospital stay

 

 _donghyuck:_ what

 

 _nana:_ :)

 

**_nana has logged off!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ NANA?

 

 _donghyuck:_ COME BACK EXPLAIN THIS

 

 _donghyuck:_ WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 

 _donghyuck:_ JAEMIN


	2. (gunshot) this is why mom doesn't FUCKING love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: jaemin, baby, i’m going to put this in the simplest terms possible so that even ur tiny wittwe pea bwain can undewstand okay?
> 
> nana: yes
> 
> donghyuck: I’m Broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in ONE day? i am... how you say...... on a roll

_injun:_ hey jaemin when do you start school

 

 _nana:_ monday! dunno why but i’m highkey excited

 

 _donghyuck:_ it’s because he spent a year learning nothing but khan academy content

 

 _nana:_ i. watched. every. single. video. they. had.

 

 _jeno:_ a diligent boy

 

 _nana:_ it was HELL

 

 _nana:_ i played some games on my phone but SOMEONE stole my dsi so i couldn’t play animal crossing :///

 

 _donghyuck:_ sorry i  lent it to mark and he dropped it in his bowl of oatmeal

 

 _mark:_ firstly

 

 _mark:_ that was you

 

 _mark:_ secondly

 

 _mark:_ it was a bowl of rice krispy treat cereal

 

 _donghyuck:_ HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THAT

 

 _mark:_ because you looked at a picture of jaemin that he sent you and said “u know? his back is snappin cracklin and poppin rn” and then laughed so hard you dropped the dsi into the bowl

 

 _nana:_ i’m not even mad anymore. thanks donghyuck

 

 _nana:_ you’re reimbursing me though

 

 _donghyuck:_ jaemin, baby, i’m going to put this in the simplest terms possible so that even ur tiny wittwe pea bwain can undewstand okay?

 

 _nana:_ yes

 

 _donghyuck:_ I’m Broke.

 

 _nana:_ i have three dollars in my wallet. that is all

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m broker

 

 _nana:_ INSURANCE SCAMS DIDNT STEAL ALL UR MONEY DONGHYUCK

 

 _donghyuck:_ POINT JAEMIN!

 

 _injun:_ hi kids

 

 _injun:_ i have a question

 

 _donghyuck:_ yes

 

 _injun:_ not you. i don’t like you

 

 _nana:_ yes

 

 _injun:_ you have no reason for me to not like you AND you’re the one i’m questioning! it’s the little things in life huh

 

 _mark:_ .     you make no sense

 

 _injun:_ mwah love u

 

 _injun:_ jaemin how did you stay in the hospital for a year with SCOLIOSIS

 

 _nana:_ DID HYUCK NOT TELL YOUGHSDNFKJGh

 

 _injun:_ DONGHYUCK?

 

 _donghyuck:_ ok. maybe i forgot to tell them. but hear me out: i’m gay

 

 _nana:_ we know

 

 _injun:_ JAEMIN TELL ME

 

 _nana:_ I’M DUMB AND LAZY SO I USE SCOLIOSIS AS A GENERAL TERM FOR MY BACK PROBLEMSHGSKJDFNH

 

 _nana:_ I HAVE THIS WEIRD COMPLICATED BACK THING AND. OKAY THIS IS A LONG STORY AND I DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO TELL IT

 

 _lele:_ tell us i’m highkey interested

 

 _nana:_ no

 

 _jisung:_ PLEASE

 

 _nana:_ fine but only because this is the first time you’ve ever showed interest in me

 

 _jisung:_ sorry

 

 _nana:_ i threw out my back dancing and went to the hospital right? so i go there and theyre like “jaemin old buddy old pal theres a lot wrong w ur mf uh back”

 

 _donghyuck:_ it’s true i was the doctor

 

 _nana:_ so after i recuperated from. u know. crippling back pain. they had to examine my Back Spine Disk Thingies i forget what theyre called

 

 _mark:_ spinal discs

 

 _lele:_ shut UP nerd

 

 _nana:_ and they found out i had a big ol herniated disc so i had to get surgery and they hit a damn nerve when they were digging around in my back so that was fun

 

 _nana:_ because of that i couldn’t walk for a while so. i had to go to physical therapy for months until i could walk normally and Do Stuff

 

 _nana:_ and yeah. that is the story of me having a stupid back

 

 _donghyuck:_ bravo!

 

 _jisung:_ chenle is crying

 

 _lele:_ JISUNG IS CRYING TOO.

 

 _lele:_ THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THROW PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS JISUNG

 

 _nana:_ I’M FINE DON’T CRY

 

 _lele:_ TOO LATE

 

 _jeno:_ i’ll find u and splash hot coffee in your face if you don’t stop crying chenle

 

 _lele:_ do it. i’ll cut your loser girlfriend’s hair

 

 _nana:_ who’s ur girlfriend!!! i’m on a mission to learn as many names as i can before i graduate

 

 _jeno:_ ko eunji

 

 _jeno:_ she goes to mark’s college so you wouldn’t know her

 

 _nana:_ aw :(

 

 _jeno:_ yeah haha

 

 _donghyuck:_ “yeah haha” is jeno there

 

 _jeno:_ Yeah Haha

 

 _injun:_ chenle stole my fucking costa rican COOKIES

 

 _lele:_ sorry

 

 _injun:_ SORRY DOESN’T CUT IT.

 

 _mark:_ he did what

 

 _injun:_ i won kahoot. my teacher. she gave me these delicious little packaged costa rican cookies. chikys. they’re delicious. i’ve had them before. i set them down on my desk and went to go get some hand sanitizer. because i’m a good kid.

 

 _injun:_ I COME BACK AND ZHONG CHENLE HAS ALL SIX OF MY CHIKYS IN HIS MOUTH.

 

 _lele:_ sorry

 

 _mark:_ oh my god…

 

 _injun:_ YOU’RE REIMBURSING ME.

 

 _lele:_ i’m poor

 

 _injun:_ YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT’S WORTH MORE THAN MARK.

 

 _mark:_ honestly? i was on ur side but if i ever find a pack of chikys i’m going to give them to chenle and watch the light in your eyes die out

 

 _injun:_ bold of you to assume there was ever any light in my eyes

 

 _lele:_ huehuehue you can’t catch me i’m hopping on a plane tomorrow

 

 _nana:_ WHERE ARE YOU GOING

 

 _lele:_ CHINA, BABY!

 

 _injun:_ all the better to kill u for my dear

 

 _lele:_ jeno you’ll protect me right? you have….. (reads smudged handwriting on back of hand) musk kles…. right?

 

 _jeno:_ i’m going to help renjun

 

 _lele:_ JAEMIN?

 

 _nana:_ kid you’ve never even met me

 

 _nana:_ i could be 5’0 and 70 pounds

 

 _donghyuck:_ if you were 5’0 and 70 pounds as an asian boy you would be dead

 

 _nana:_ good

 

 _nana:_ chenle i am a cripple

 

 _lele:_ PLEASE…. THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME…..

 

 _lele:_ DONGHYUCK?

 

 _donghyuck:_ remember when u drank my orange juice? yeah i thought so

 

 _lele:_ JISUNG?

 

 _jisung:_ sorry i can’t i have to walk my cactus

 

 _lele:_ MARK. PLEASe

 

 _mark:_ slightly offended that you didn’t come to me first

 

 _lele:_ i know ur busy with schoolwork and i respect that

 

 _mark:_ i always have time for my favorite underclassman

 

 _lele:_ SUCK IT JISUNG

 

 _mark:_ jisung was an eighth grade when i was a senior i hardly ever saw him

 

 _jisung:_ fair. i love you dad

 

 _mark:_ i’mm cryi;;gngh;;,....

 

 _mark:_ jisung where are you come let me kiss your cheek Right Now,,h,gm,,,,,,

 

 _jisung:_ no

 

 _mark:_ ok. fair. lawful. i respect that

 

 _mark:_ chenle if you can run to my dorm before renjun jeno and possibly hyuck catch you….. i’ll give you a ride home so jeno doesn’t tear you to shreds in his car

 

 _injun:_ i’m gonna steal his plane ticket. i wanna see grandma

 

 _lele:_ YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD.

 

 _injun:_ I HAVE ANOTHER GRANDMOTHER

 

 _lele:_ BOTH OF YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ARE DEAD.

 

 _lele:_ STOP CALLING MY GRANDMOTHER YOUR GRANDMA. IT’S WEIRD

 

 _injun:_ MAYBE IF U DIDNT EAT MY COOKIES I WOULD CALL YOUR GRANDMA SOMETHING SPICY LIKE ABUELA

 

 _lele:_ RENJUN CAN YOU EVEN SAY ABUELA

 

 _injun:_ NO

 

 _lele:_ FAIR. LAWFUL. PLEASE DON’T KILL ME

 

 _injun:_ OMW TO RIP YOUR FACE OFF NERD :]

 

 _lele:_ MARK I’M COMINGNGH

 

 _mark:_ RUN FASTER

 

 _nana:_ does this normally happen? chenle getting attacked

 

 _jisung:_ yeah this is the part where we all rebel usually

 

 _jisung:_ mark is his refuge

 

 _mark:_ hell yeah i am

 

 _donghyuck:_ hell yeah? yell heah

 

 _mark:_ You Complete Me.

 

* * *

 

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and nana!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ hey

 

 _donghyuck:_ u

 

 _donghyuck:_ dumb idiot

 

 _nana:_ yes

 

 _donghyuck:_ you know i’m proud of u for like. walking again and stuff right

 

 _nana:_ yes

 

 _donghyuck:_ good i don’t say it enough

 

 _donghyuck:_ and i’m glad you’re back

 

 _donghyuck:_ things weren’t the same without you

 

 _nana:_ you know what hyuckie?

 

 _nana:_ me too

 

 _donghyuck:_ stop it you’re gonna make me cry

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m gonna turn in, i have college prep early tomorrow morning and i am Not here for it

 

 _donghyuck:_ gn babie i love you and i’m so excited to start seeing ur ugly mug everywhere monday

 

 _donghyuck:_ <3

 

 _nana:_ gn ugly i love your idiot mark loving ass

 

 _nana:_ 3>

 

 _nana:_ wait how do you make it

 

 _donghyuck:_ it goes the other way

 

 _nana:_ wait i got it

 

 _nana:_ _Ɛ > _

 

 _donghyuck:_ WHAT THE FUCK

 

**_nana has logged off!_ **

  
_donghyuck:_ what the fuck.........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall r still reading this? PHEW
> 
> also, that thing with renjun with the chiky cookies? yeah that exact thing happened to me today and i immediately thought "chenle and renjun"
> 
> love you, stay safe!!!
> 
> -daniel 102518


	3. miss keisha? miss keisha? oh my f

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nana: bye i love you guys
> 
> injun: you’ve known us for like. three minutes
> 
> nana: three days but ok renjun

_ injun:  _ how does it feel to be back in the motherland you traitor

 

_ mark:  _ THE MOTHERLANDSHJHGKJDSF

 

_ lele:  _ (kissy noise) i’ll bring u back a keychain baobei

 

_ injun:  _ DON’T CALL ME BAOBEI YOU HOT DOG!!!

 

_ jeno:  _ .                Hot dog

 

_ injun:  _ shut up i’ll kill you

 

_ injun:  _ chenle shut up go kiss jisung or something

 

_ jisung:  _ go WHAT

 

_ lele:  _ hahaha that’s a funny jjoke;;; relal funny,,, ,rnejunn,,,,,,j;;;;;

 

* * *

****

 

**_private chat between injun and lele!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ (whispering softly, hand cupped around mouth) i’ll kill you

 

_ injun:  _ haha funny joke. you know what you should do? Go confess to jisung

 

_ lele:  _ I’LL KILL YOU

 

_ injun:  _ you know what you should do instead? Go Tell Jisung You Have A Fat Crush On Him

 

_ lele:  _ junnie do you want to go to china? do you want me to fucking book you a private jet? because I Will

 

_ injun:  _ buy my silence. permanently. for $8000 a month, i will stop

 

_ lele:  _ do you accept payment in the form of my love

 

_ injun:  _ what the fuck is that. i dont know what that is

 

_ lele:  _ renjun.

 

_ injun:  _ cash or check

 

_ lele:  _ not worth it. i’m sorry

 

_ injun:  _ then you deserve what’s coming to you

 

_ lele:  _ injun?

 

_ lele:  _ RENJUN NO

 

* * *

 

**_chat between mark, injun, jeno, donghyuck, nana, lele, and jisung!_ **

 

_ injun:  _ hey jisung

 

_ jisung:  _ yeah

 

_ injun:  _ guess what

 

_ jisung:  _ what

 

_ lele:  _ i’ll fucking kill you,,,

 

_ injun:  _ chenle misses u

 

_ jisung:  _ that’s nice. tell him i miss him too

 

_ lele:  _ im crying;;; my Son;;;g;;;

 

_ mark:  _ do you want to fucking fight

 

_ lele:  _ Sqquare up, good Srir,,

 

_ jeno:  _ good sriracha

 

_ injun:  _ good 3racha

 

_ donghyuck:  _ cursed. go away

 

_ injun:  _ when did u get here. disgusting

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jaemin and i are on break he just got done learning like three choreographies

 

_ mark:  _ how is his back not on fire

 

_ nana:  _ it is

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i tried to ask him to take a break after half of the first choreo and he tried to punch me in the face with his Strong Man Muscles

 

_ nana:  _ that’s what u get for testing god

 

_ injun:  _ Peace be with you

 

_ jisung:  _ sorry i couldn’t show you the choreos jaemin my brother dragged me out to see mark

 

_ mark:  _ my Son… welcome

 

_ jisung:  _ i’ll bite your calves off old man

 

_ mark:  _ that’ll do that’ll do

 

_ injun:  _ i still don’t get why you needed to teach jaemin the choreos in a day that’s way too many we have like five

 

_ donghyuck:  _ well we just have one more

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and jaemin learns choreos fast so

 

_ injun:  _ which one does he have left

 

_ donghyuck:  _ t7s intro. saved the best for last

 

_ injun:  _ why wouldn’t you run them in order idiot

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you wanna do the srb outro last? that’s boring

 

_ injun:  _ donghyuck. it’s the outro. we have to perform it last anyways

 

_ donghyuck:  _ this is the last time you make a fool out of me in my own domain

 

_ injun:  _ i will crush you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ not if i crush myself first

 

_ nana:  _ can i PLEASE learn the dance

 

_ mark:  _ ARE YOU REALLY DOING THE INTRO WITHOUT ME. THE INTRO. THAT I CHOREOGRAPHED. THE INTRO THAT I CENTERED IN THE OPENING OF 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ IT’S A GOOD INTRO

 

_ donghyuck:  _ LOOK I’M MAKING JAEMIN OPENING CENTER

 

_ nana:  _ I DON’T WANT TO BE CENTER

 

_ mark:  _ MAKE JENO OPENING CENTER

 

_ jeno:  _ DON’T MAKE ME CENTER MAKE JISUNG CENTER

 

_ injun:  _ MAKE CHENLE CENTER

 

_ lele:  _ MAKE RENJUN CENTER

 

_ mark:  _ MAKE. JENO. CENTER

 

_ jisung:  _ just make me center

 

_ donghyuck:  _ k

 

_ mark:  _ there. Problem Solved

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i will eat you

 

_ mark:  _ not if i eat myself first :*

 

_ donghyuck:  _ DON’T KISSY FACE ME I’LL. IDK WHAT I’LL DO YOU’RE DEFLECTING

 

_ injun:  _ you’ll kiss him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I’LL KISS YOU

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WAHIT NO WAIT WAIT

 

_ mark:  _ NOT IF I KIS SYOU FIRST;

 

_ jeno:  _ WHAT GOES ON

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I’M GOING TO GO FINISH TEACHING JAEMIN THE CHOREOS BYE

 

_ nana:  _ hyuck is more awkward around mark than he was around me when we dated. just saying

 

_ nana:  _ bye i love you guys

 

_ injun:  _ you’ve known us for like. three minutes

 

_ nana:  _ three days but ok renjun

 

_ jisung:  _ wait

 

_ jeno:  _ WHEN DID YOU DATE 

 

_ nana:  _ bye!!!!

 

_ injun:  _ well that was chaotic. wonderful

_ mark:  _ Date? they Dated? like. boyfriends? they dated? They d

 

_ lele:  _ aw lil markie can’t handle the fact that hyuckie has kissed someone

 

_ injun:  _ relax mark they probably didn’t even kiss hyuck is a coward

 

_ mark:  _ i’m not worried about donghyuck kissing anyone because i’m not romantically invested in hyuck and he can date whoever he wants

 

_ jeno:  _ i call bullshit

 

_ lele:  _ me 2

 

_ jisung:  _ me three

 

_ injun:  _ me four! mark you lose

 

_ mark:  _ you know what? heterophobia. heterophobia everywhere i look

 

_ lele:  _ just admit you’re big gay for donghyuck and well stop

 

_ mark:  _ IM NOT

 

_ jeno:  _ PROM NIGHT 2018. MARK GOt DRUNK AT THE AFTERPARTY AND AFTER CRYING ABOUT HOW MUCHH HED MISS ALL OF US AFTER GRADUATING HE SAID “IM GONNA MISS HYUCK MOST

OF ALL” WHILE HYUCK WAS IN THE BATHROOM

 

_ injun:  _ I REMEMBER

 

_ injun:  _ WHEN WE ASKED WHY HE SAID “BECAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH HIM WHY THE HELL ELSE”

 

_ mark:  _ IM GONNA EAt YOU

 

_ jeno:  _ ur gonna eat hyuck first

 

_ mark:  _ you want me to just. take a big chomp out of his neck? i’m a vampire i’m down for that

 

_ lele:  _ mark for the last time you’re not a vampire

 

_ mark:  _ shut it mortal

 

_ lele:  _ i give up. he’s hopeless. let him get blood poisoning. let him not get donghyuck. none of this matters in the end

 

_ jisung:  _ hey come get a milkshake with me

 

_ lele:  _ okay!!!!!

 

_ injun:  _ whipped

 

_ jeno:  _ can we stop calling everyone whipped for their best friends 

 

_ lele:  _ jeno you’ve been in love with renjun for approximately 18 years

 

_ jeno:  _ chenle is Cancelled. 

 

_ lele:  _ do it, coward. you cannot hurt me here while i am in my domain

 

_ lele:  _ jisung is sitting a foot in front of me sipping a strawberry milkshake contently. it is sunday afternoon. i am at peace. 

 

_ injun:  _ chenle

 

_ injun:  _ you’re in china

 

_ jisung:  _ im in korea 

 

_ lele:  _ stop poisoning my mind space both of you

 

_ jisung:  _ highkey forgot chenle was gone and wanted him to go get a milkshake w me now i’m sad

 

_ jeno:  _ IM COMING WHAT FLAVOR DO YOU WANT

 

_ jisung:  _ strawberry

 

_ lele:  _ on god…..

 

_ jeno:  _ we’ll film a mukbang for you lele

 

_ lele:  _ STOPSNDNSND

 

_ nana:  _ i’m back!!!

 

_ nana:  _ .

 

_ nana:  _ what the HELL did i miss

 

_ injun:  _ just. don’t scroll up. don’t scroll up. don’t scr

 

_ jeno:  _ RENJUN? RENJUN?

 

_ mark:  _ he’s meditating guys

 

_ lele:  _ he’s died 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why it took me so long to update and Im Sorry
> 
> stay safe ilu!!!
> 
> -daniel 103018


	4. my boy jaemin goin to school (fuck it up jaemin fffffuck it up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: WE’RE ALL ASIAN. ALL OF US ARE ASIAN
> 
> mark: i self-identify as white. sorry
> 
> donghyuck: MOST OF US ARE ASIAN.

_ jeno:  _ HAPPY RETURNING DAY JAEMIN I’M EXCITED TO MEET YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME

 

_ nana:  _ I’M EXCITED TO MEET YOU TOO

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHAT DO YOU HAVE FIRST PERIOD

 

_ nana:  _ AP CALCULUS

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TAKE THAT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

 

_ nana:  _ IT’S THE LAST SLOT FOR AP CALC LEFT THE OTHER PERIOD IS FULL

 

_ injun:  _ HEY I HAVE THAT FIRST PERIOD TOO

 

_ injun:  _ I’LL MOVE SO YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO ME

 

_ donghyuck:  _ SECOND PERIOD?

 

_ nana:  _ AP LIT

 

_ lele:  _ JENO AND I HAVE THAT BUT I WON’T BE HERE

 

_ injun:  _ have fun not meeting jaemin NERD

 

_ lele:  _ you don’t even get a keychain anymore

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHAT DO YOU HAVE THIRD PERIOD

 

_ nana:  _ AP PHYSICS

 

_ donghyuck:  _ OH MY GOD…

 

_ nana:  _ WHAT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY AP CLASSES

 

_ nana:  _ LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL

 

_ nana:  _ GOTTA MAKE IT COUNT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ FOURTH PERIOD?

 

_ nana:  _ AP COMPARATIVE POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHAT LUNCH DO YOU HAVE. 

 

_ nana:  _ SECOND LUNCH

 

_ jeno:  _ JACKPOT LADIES!

 

_ mark:  _ ,

 

_ jeno:  _ MARK I LOVE YOU YOU’RE VALID I’M SORRY FOR GOING ON MY CISHET BULLSHIT I PROMISE TO HOP OFF

 

_ injun:  _ he’s detoxing. we love you mark

 

_ jeno:  _ Jackpot, Good Fellows!

 

_ mark:  _ much better. i love you

 

_ jeno:  _ im love you,,,,?,

 

_ mark:  _ hey

 

_ mark:  _ eunji says you should come visit

 

_ jeno:  _ eunji my angel u can text me urself

 

_ mark:  _ this is eunji my phone got stolen :((

 

_ jeno:  _ NO

 

_ jeno:  _ eunji i lvoe you give mark a hug for me

 

_ mark:  _ okay!!! i’ve gotta run to class but i’ll text you once i get a new phone i promise!!! bye ilu 

 

_ jeno:  _ MARK

 

_ mark:  _ yes

 

_ jeno:  _ GIVE EUNJI A KISS ON THE CHEEK FOR ME

 

_ mark:  _ you Know i can’t do that

 

_ jeno:  _ from one straight guy to another

 

_ mark:  _ you’re bi

 

_ mark:  _ thanks for recognizing my hettiness tho

 

_ mark:  _ i’m still not gonna kiss your girlfriend for you though

 

_ nana:  _ i’m crying you two are the only het couple i trust

 

_ donghyuck:  _ kim hyuna and kim hyojong didn’t die for this het erasure, na jaemin!

 

_ nana:  _ sorry i love you hyuna

 

_ donghyuck:  _ AND HYOJONG?

 

_ nana:  _ screamy boy. light of my life. love him

 

_ nana:  _ what did you mean when you said jackpot jeno

 

_ jeno:  _ All of us have that lunch period

 

_ jeno:  _ All Of Us. 

 

_ lele:  _ am i the only one that doesn’t get to meet jaemin irl today :(((

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yes

 

_ lele:  _ can you facetime me at lunch tho

 

_ injun:  _ Bever. 

 

_ lele:  _ beaver?

 

_ injun:  _ NEVER

 

_ lele:  _ THE

 

_ lele:  _ you get negative gifts when i get back

 

_ injun:  _ whats that supposed to mean

 

_ lele:  _ everyone gets gifts but you don’t

 

_ injun:  _ EVEN JAEMIN?

 

_ lele:  _ especially jaemin it’s his first china day

 

_ jeno:  _ HELL YEAH I LOVE CHINA DAY

 

_ nana:  _ what’s china day

 

_ mark:  _ anytime chenle or renjun comes back from china we go to chenle’s house open all the gifts they got us and watch a chinese drama for a day

 

_ mark:  _ it’s great

 

_ jeno:  _ AND THE FOOD

 

_ jisung:  _ mmmm the food

 

_ jisung:  _ chenle can cook his way into my heart

 

_ lele:  _ im coming home Immediately, someone start up a grill and get me a duck

 

_ jeno:  _ once again chenle exposes himself

 

_ lele:  _ do you ever shut UP

 

_ jeno:  _ i’ll kill you

 

_ lele:  _ just found out im staying in china for the rest of my life!!! i wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors except for jeno

 

_ lele:  _ jeno can go die 

 

_ jeno:  _ :(

 

_ mark:  _ chenle? i’ll kill you

 

_ lele:  _ IM SO SORRY JENO

 

_ jeno:  _ You Should Be. 

 

_ nana:  _ WHERE IS MY CLASS

 

_ injun:  _ WHERE ARE YOU ILL WALK YOU THERE BUT YOU HAVE TO HURRY ITS FIVE MINUTES TILL THE TARDY BELL

 

_ nana:  _ I DONT KNOW

 

_ nana:  _ THERE ARE PEOPLE

 

_ nana:  _ YELLOW LOCKERS

 

_ injun:  _ STAY WHERE YOU ARE

 

_ donghyuck:  _ explain to me why i just saw renjun naruto run through the yellow wing’s hall

 

_ jeno:  _ it’s the most effective and time-saving way to run

 

_ donghyuck:  _ get to first period you fool

 

_ mark:  _ donghyuck go to first 

 

_ nana:  _ RENJUN? IS THAT YOU

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHATS HE LOOK LIKE

 

_ nana:  _ DARK BROWN HAIR. UH. ASIAN

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WE’RE ALL ASIAN. ALL OF US ARE ASIAN

 

_ mark:  _ i self-identify as white. sorry

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MOST OF US ARE ASIAN. 

 

_ nana:  _ ITS HIM

 

_ nana:  _ all he did was bend over take my foot in his hand and then pull me towards the class

 

_ nana:  _ i’m hopping on one fotoofhan

 

_ donghyuck:  _ u good

 

_ nana:  _ he pulled me over

 

_ nana:  _ OKAY THE BELLS ABOUT TO RING BYE MWAH I LOVE YOU

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHO? EVERYONE BUT MARK? ME?

 

_ nana:  _ ALL OF YOU

 

_ jisung:  _ good luck jaemin!!

 

_ nana:  _ ESPECIALLY YOU. I LOVE YOU THE MOSTEST. GOODBYE

 

_ mark:  _ and as mysteriously as he arrived 

 

_ lele:  _ he was gone

 

_ mark:  _ kiss me

 

_ lele:  _ you’re an old man fuck off i only date freshmen

 

_ mark:  _ why

 

_ lele:  _ all the sophomores are assholes

 

_ jeno:  _ you’re a sophomore

 

_ lele:  _ exactly

 

_ jisung:  _ Oh, Worm?

 

_ mark:  _ i’m SICK of your teenager phrases. you hooligans

 

_ donghyuck:  _ then perish

 

_ jeno:  _ (omaban eyes)

 

_ donghyuck:  _ OMABAN? FUCKING OMABAN?

 

_ jeno:  _ I MEANT OBAMA

 

_ mark:  _ that’s it

 

**_mark has left the chat!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ about time

 

**_jeno has kicked donghyuck from the chat!_ **

 

_ jisung:  _ ah…. peace at last 

 

_ lele:  _ now that the buffoons are gone im banning all swear words. swearing is punishable by death

 

_ jisung:  _ heck

 

_ jeno:  _ you’re on thin fucking ice kid  __

 

_ jeno:  _ oh

 

_ jeno:  _ oh no 

 

**_jeno has left the chat!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ and then there were four

 

_ jisung:  _ sike

 

**_jisung has left the chat!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ WHAT

 

**_injun has left the chat!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ JAEMIN????

 

**_nana has left the chat!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ well now no ones here so i can say it :’)

 

_ lele:  _ JISUNF COME TO CHINA AND GIVE ME A BIG KISS OH MY GOD I WANT TO KISS YOUR CHEEKS ANDNEVWR STOP UR FACE IS SO SQUISHY IM GINNA CEY I LIKE YOU SO MUCH 

 

_ lele:  _ fucj im in deep aren’t i

 

_ lele:  _ what if it’s. 

 

_ lele:  _ nope i’m Not falling in lvoe i’m too young for that

 

_ lele:  _ hehe i should like. Stop tearing up 

 

_ lele:  _ why am i treating this like a priv twitter account

 

_ lele:  _ chenle STOP crying

 

_ lele:  _ GOODNIGHT

 

_ lele:  _ it’s like 8am

 

_ lele:  _ did i just respond to myselfg 

 

_ lele:  _ GOODNIGHT. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this going to become a Theme? i update two days in a row and then disappear for a while, only to update two days in a row once more? am i the updating cryptid? huh
> 
> starting out a slowburn arc w chensung.... Nice,, hhhmmm,,,,,,,,
> 
> please stay safe and remember that i love you!!!
> 
> ps: happy fucking halloween AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> -daniel 103118


	5. how many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lele: what am i thinking about right now
> 
> jisung: how you just blackmailed renjun and are gonna get a fuckton of oreos out of it
> 
> lele: HE’S TELEPATHIC YOUR HONOR

**_donghyuck has created a group chat!_ **

 

**_donghyuck has added mark, injun, jeno, nana, lele, and jisung to the chat!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ gentlemen

 

 _injun:_ shut up

 

 _donghyuck:_ NEVER.

 

 _donghyuck:_ our beloved nana’s first day of school has been a success

 

 _jeno:_ jaemin ur the light of my life. thank you for existing

 

 _donghyuck:_ and to think you used to be scared of jeno

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT

 

 _donghyuck:_ but that is neither here nor there

 

 _donghyuck:_ i propose we regroup at the froyo place and cry about class

 

 _injun:_ i literally have like three pounds of homework

 

 _donghyuck:_ bold of you to assume i was asking you

 

 _injun:_ I’m Going!

 

 _nana:_ aw you guys don’t have to do that

 

 _nana:_ (whispering) donghyuck i’ll kill you

 

 _jeno:_ YOU QERE AFRAID OF ME?

 

 _nana:_ NO

 

 _donghyuck:_ YES

 

 _nana:_ MAYBE

 

 _jeno:_ WHY.

 

 _nana:_ IDK YOU JUST GAVE OFF THIS REALLY OMINOUS VIBE??? LIKE BATMAN

 

 _jeno:_ BATMAN?

 

 _nana:_ BATMAN.

 

 _donghyuck:_ maybe batman can be ur always

 

 _mark:_ nowwww KISS

 

 _jeno:_ Eunji? Eunji Where Are Y

 

 _mark:_ hey jeno

 

 _mark:_ pm me real quick

 

**_private chat between jeno and mark!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ what do you want heathen

 

 _mark:_ listen

 

 _jeno:_ yessir

 

 _mark:_ are you and eunji monogamous?

 

 _jeno:_ , Yeah Why

 

 _mark:_ clearly she doesn’t think so

 

 _mark:_ i just saw her stumble out of the men’s dorm at 8am hungover and draped around a foreign exchange student

 

 _jeno:_ oh

 

 _mark:_ she kissed him

 

 _mark:_ and she had her phone. the same phone she had before

 

 _mark:_ i’m really sorry you had to find out through me

 

 _jeno:_ you’re wrong

 

 _mark:_ what?

 

 _jeno:_ eunji wouldn’t do that to me you saw someone else

 

 _jeno:_ we had plans for the future she wouldn’t ditch those

 

 _mark:_ had?

 

 _jeno:_ we have plans.

 

 _mark:_ jeno please listen to me and break up with her now because

 

 _mark:_ i know eunji

 

 _mark:_ she’s stubborn and she’ll never admit that she’s cheating

 

 _jeno:_ she’s not fucking cheating on me shut up mark

 

 _jeno:_ i can’t believe you right now

 

 _jeno:_ why are you lying to me like this? and so blatantly, too? do you want eunji or something? is that it?

 

 _jeno:_ you asked if we were monogamous in the beginning for a reason didn’t you

 

 _mark:_ no???

 

 _jeno:_ you wanted to see if you could date her too didn’t you? god you’re so eager to get over donghyuck

 

 _jeno:_ you really did mean it when you said as soon as you got into college you would never pine over him again huh

 

 _jeno:_ maybe he likes you too dumbass

 

 _mark:_ leave him out of this.

 

 _mark:_ why are YOU getting so defensive over eunji? i know you don’t like her

 

 _jeno:_ what the fuck

 

 _jeno:_ she’s my girlfriend of course i like her

 

 _jeno:_ i love her

 

 _mark:_ every time ANYONE brings her up, you get reserved. you don’t talk a lot. i’m barely passing psychology but even i know you’re clearly over her so choke on your stubborn pride and confront her about the fact that she’s fucking cheating on you, jeno.

 

 _jeno:_ you’re so fucking jealous it’s not even funny

 

 _mark:_ are you really going to trust eunji, who you’ve only been dating for a while, over ME, WHO YOU’VE KNOWN SINCE WE WERE KIDS?

 

 _jeno:_ fuck you

 

 _mark:_ dont internalize this

 

 _mark:_ i know you will but please so i don’t know why i’m asking you not to but don’t just push this shit down until you forget about it

 

 _mark:_ talk to her about it

 

 _jeno:_ so she can dump me because of outlandish accusations and you can swoop in and steal her? fuck you. fuck off.

 

 _jeno:_ don’t fucking talk to me you piece of shit

 

 _jeno:_ what kind of friend are you

 

 _mark:_ jeno i’m sorry

 

 _mark:_ i promise my intentions aren’t what you think and i just want to help you not be as hurt as you will be

 

 _mark:_ i’m sorry if i made you mad

 

 _jeno:_ fuck. off.

  


* * *

 

 

 _jisung:_ can anyone drive me someplace tonight

 

 _jisung:_ hyuck?

 

 _donghyuck:_ i have to go visit my brother but i can get out of it

 

 _donghyuck:_ only use me as a last resort okay

 

 _jisung:_ injun?

 

 _injun:_ chenle took my car keys to china with him

 

 _jisung:_ damn you zhong

 

 _lele:_ im ssodoryy,,,;,::;:: frogjgiivw me kms sso sorryryy,;(:;,::::::

 

 _jisung:_ Appease Me.

 

 _jisung:_ jeno?

 

 _jeno:_ where are you going

 

 _jisung:_ mark’s dorm

 

 _jeno:_ no

 

 _jisung:_ you can go visit eunji

 

 _jeno:_ i can’t.

 

 _donghyuck:_ do not. use full stops. on the baby.

 

 _jisung:_ hes PISSED

 

 _injun:_ trust me i know he’s in sixth period and the veins in his neck are popping out

 

 _injun:_ he just looked at that message and shoved his phone into his pocket

 

 _jisung:_ let’s just. forget jeno is mad because he clearly doesn’t wanna talk about it

 

 _jisung:_ jaemin do you have a car?

 

 _nana:_ yeah

 

 _nana:_ i share it w my brother though and today is his day to use it

 

 _donghyuck:_ damn you yuta

 

 _mark:_ YUTA?

 

 _nana:_?

 

 _mark:_ NAKAMOTO YUTA?

 

 _nana:_ YEAH?

 

 _mark:_ HE LIVES ON MY FLOOR

 

 _nana:_ AW ILL COME VISIT YOU SOMETIME

 

 _donghyuck:_ sungie if you can meet me at my car right after school i’ll take you straight to mark’s

 

 _jisung:_ it’s ok i can take the bus

 

 _injun:_ what is jeno doing

 

 _donghyuck:_ HUH?

 

 _injun:_ he got his phone out

 

 _injun:_ THE

 

 _injun:_ HE STOOD UP AND WALKED OUT OF CLASS

 

 _injun:_ WHERE IS HE GOING

 

 _jeno:_ come on jisung

 

 _jisung:_ i am afraid

 

 _jeno:_ get your stuff and come to my car

 

 _mark:_ he’s not leaving class just to see me

 

 _jeno:_ you cant dictate what he does and doesn’t do shithead

 

 _donghyuck:_ jeno,,,, u good?

 

 _jisung:_ school ends in a class period can’t we just wait? we’re learning our first geometry concept

 

 _jeno:_ yeah

 

 _jeno:_ i’ll be out in my car come out whenever

 

 _jisung:_ im gay

 

 _lele:_ JISUNGNNFJS

 

 _injun:_ i have never been more afraid of my life

 

 _injun:_ and to think * **** **** ******* *****

 

 _lele:_ it’s okay guys i speak mandarin

 

 _injun:_ that’s. that’s not

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_private chat between lele and injun!_ **

 

 _lele:_ and to think i like this fucking idiot

 

 _injun:_ HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT.

 

 _lele:_ say a word about jisung. i dare you

 

 _injun:_ yyou look very nice today my liege i love you

 

 _injun:_ did i mention i love you

 

 _lele:_ :*

 

 _injun:_ don’t say a word

 

 _lele:_ no promises

 

 _injun:_ chenle

 

 _lele:_ i want every variety of oreos you can find when i get back

 

 _injun:_ yes my liege

 

 _lele:_ Appease Me.

 

 _injun:_ yes my lord

 

* * *

 

 

 _lele:_ as i was saying

 

 _lele:_ i want some oreos

 

 _jisung:_ you haven’t even thought about oreos today

 

 _lele:_ how do you know

 

 _jisung:_ i know you

 

 _donghyuck:_ telepathy

 

 _lele:_ what am i thinking about right now

 

 _jisung:_ how you just blackmailed renjun and are gonna get a fuckton of oreos out of it

 

 _lele:_ HE’S TELEPATHIC YOUR HONOR

 

 _donghyuck:_ CHENLEHSJGKHSNDJKFNHJKn

 

 _injun:_ HELP.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW this chapter was a roller coaster and i apologize for it. an attempt at characterization has been made
> 
> also. i apologize for my boyfriend (user nakamoto) who replies to Every Comment Ever. again. i apologize. hes dumb but i love him
> 
> drop a comment down below and bet on who you think is going to get together first because even now i have absolutely No idea who i'm putting together first. my outline for this? only halfway done, Babey! will i finish it anytime soon? probably not. we'll see
> 
> please stay safe and remember that i love you!!!
> 
> -daniel 110318


	6. "this is a funeral" "THIS MOVIE SUCKS ASS"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: thank you. chenle die  
> lele: you tell me thsi on the day of my poor poor grandpa’s funeral…..  
> injun: your abuelo  
> lele: MY ABUELO’S FUNERAL, DONGHYUCK.

_ injun:  _ how goes the studying sungie 

 

_ jisung:  _ i want to die

 

_ mark:  _ i had an a in this class and i still can’t help him

 

_ mark:  _ so i want to die more than him

 

_ lele:  _ be  positive! spread love! smile! go on a run! eat fruits and vegetables!

 

_ mark:  _ SAYS U...

 

_ jisung:  _ YOU HAVE NO SCHOOL ALL WEEKN AND YOU GET TO GO STAY IN CHINA AND EAT CHINESE FOOD AND SEE UR FAMILY

 

_ lele:  _ lol i’m saying goodbye to my grandpa in a few hours i think i have it worse

 

_ donghyuck:  _ What,

 

_ lele:  _ DID I NOT TELL YALL WHY IM IN CHINA

 

_ nana:  _ NO

 

_ lele:  _ LOL MY GRANDPA DIED

 

_ injun:  _ ABUELO?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ RENJUN NO DNSJDJSNDN

 

_ nana:  _ i’m sorry chenle that’s awful

 

_ lele:  _ oh no i HATED him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ CHENLEJDNSND

 

_ injun:  _ mi abuelo fue un hombre mal

 

_ mark:  _ i don’t think that’s correct

 

_ injun:  _ what do you know Canada Man

 

_ nana:  _ CANADA?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MARK IS FROM CANADA

 

_ injun:  _ ORIGINALLY HES FROM NEW YORK BUT HE MOVED TO CANADA AND NOW HE LIVES HERE 

 

_ injun: _ SOMETIMES HE MAKES AMERICAN FOOD AND ITS INCREDIBLE

 

_ lele:  _ it’s disgusting 

 

_ jisung:  _ it’s incredible that his puny stomach can tolerate that much grease

 

_ mark:  _ i’m older than you

 

_ jisung:  _ weird flex but ok

 

_ donghyuck:  _ who taught you the cool kid phrases

 

_ jisung:  _ chenle

 

_ lele:  _ i had no part in this

 

_ donghyuck:  _ then perish 

 

_ lele:  _ I BREATHED?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ some crimes can never be forgiven

 

_ mark:  _ don’t bully my son that’s illegal

 

_ donghyuck:  _ on what grounds

 

_ mark:  _ he’s my son

 

_ injun:  _ bully him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ thank you. chenle die

 

_ lele:  _ you tell me thsi on the day of my poor poor grandpa’s funeral…..

 

_ injun:  _ your abuelo

 

_ lele:  _ MY ABUELO’S FUNERAL, DONGHYUCK. 

 

_ jisung:  _ chenle, renjun

 

_ injun:  _ yes

 

_ jisung:  _ idk if anyone ever told you this but you’re chinese

 

_ lele:  _ yes

 

_ injun:  _ im not spanish?! 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ no

 

_ donghyuck:  _ want me to say it in spanish?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ no

 

_ lele:  _ gracias

 

_ donghyuck:  _ de nada

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jeno how’s your well-deserved visit with eunji

 

_ jisung:  _ i can see them in the courtyard through mark’s door window and it doesn’t look like theyrehgfnksnhgjdfjnhgdhfjj

 

_ lele:  _ JISUNG?

 

_ mark:  _ they’re fine!!! they got boba tea and are taking a walk

 

_ lele:  _ WHAT DID YOU DO TO JISUNG

 

_ mark:  _ oh i got excited about a question so i tackled him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ….okay nerd

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jaemin are you somewhat comfortable with those choreographies we ran the other day

 

_ nana:  _ yeah!!! i’m gonna practice some more tonight and then i should be fine

 

_ donghyuck:  _ good because i just got told they’re moving the homecoming pep rally to this friday instead of next friday

 

_ injun:  _ WHY WOULD THEY MOVE HOCO???

 

_ donghyuck:  _ next friday is the day it’s supposed to storm really badly

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and the gym is already taken next friday so we were gonna perform outside

 

_ donghyuck:  _ so they just moved the entire dance to this saturday and the pep rally on friday

 

_ jisung:  _ that’s stupid

 

_ donghyuck:  _ incredibly

 

_ donghyuck:  _ can you guys stay late after school for the rest of this week?

 

_ lele:  _ well you see

 

_ lele:  _ i’m kind of in china right now

 

_ donghyuck:  _ Besides You, Fool.

 

_ nana:  _ i can but idk how i’ll get home

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you can stay w me or i can walk you home, either works

 

_ nana:  _ nah it’s like an hour walk on foot

 

_ nana:  _ i’ll just steal your bed

 

_ donghyuck:  _ thank you. ive always wanted crippling back problems caused by a rickety couch that my best friend forced me to sleep on

 

_ nana:  _ WOW IT’S ALMOST LIKE I HAVE CRIPPLING BACK PROBLEMS

 

_ mark:  _ do yall want me to stop by and help with choreos or have you changed them up since i helped you guys choreograph this summer?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ they’re the same

 

_ jisung:  _ please please please please come see us!!! i love you and i dont see you enough :(((

 

_ injun:  _ i second that minus the loving part

 

_ mark:  _ HYUCK!!!!!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MARK!!!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ HE SAID HE LOVES ME!

 

_ mark:  _ WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS HE’S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE I’M CRYING!

 

_ jisung:  _ firstly i’m sitting next to you 

 

_ jisung:  _ secondly im still in the chat

 

_ jisung:  _ and finally you should Know i love you by now i dont verbally express things like you losers

 

_ jisung:  _ i have cool guy syndrome

 

_ donghyuck:  _ cool guy syndrome is adhd

 

_ nana:  _ i have cool guy syndrome

 

_ jisung:  _ i have the coolest guy syndrome. fight me

 

_ mark:  _ what is the coolest guy syndrome

 

_ jisung:  _ asperger’s, fool

 

_ donghyuck:  _ did u not know,,

 

_ jisung:  _ this is common knowledge

 

_ mark:  _ no???

 

_ jisung:  _ i just assumed u assumed

 

_ jisung:  _ bc most people do

 

_ injun:  _ doesn’t matter we love sungie no matter what and we know he loves us he just doesnt express it well!

 

_ nana:  _ i think thats the nicest thing i’ve ever heard you say in this chat

 

_ injun:  _ you have no proof i ever said anything

 

_ jisung:  _ i have screenshots

 

_ injun:  _ WHY DID YOU SCREENSHOT IT

 

_ jisung:  _ my therapist told me to screenshot texts that make me happy so when things are bad i can go back and look at them

 

_ injun:  _ my heart just fucking melted oh no

 

_ injun:  _ jisung i love you so much :(((((( and i’ve only known you for a little while but i will literally die for you i’m so glad chenle befriended you and brought you into our stupid little friend group and i’m sorry we rag on you for not ever talking and calling you emo we really do love and adore you because you make us so so so happy we love you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ^^

 

_ mark:  _ ^^

 

_ mark:  _ he just kicked me out of my own dorm room so he could cry

 

_ jisung:  _ DID NOT!!! YOU HAVE NO PROOF

 

_ jisung:  _ when have you called me emo

 

_ lele:  _ it was donghyuck

 

_ donghyuck:  _ YOU HAVE NO PROOF!!!!!!!!!!

 

_ jeno:  _ hey jisung can we leave now

 

_ mark:  _ yeah i’ll walk him down and sign him out of the dorm

 

_ jisung:  _ lemme get my stuff

 

_ jeno:  _ you can just stay at my place tonight idc

 

_ jeno:  _ i live like five minutes away from mark’s dorm it’s awful

 

_ mark:  _ hell yeah it is

 

_ donghyuck:  _ uh jeno

 

_ jeno:  _ yes

 

_ donghyuck:  _ have u considered that maybe,, a freshman staying at a senior’s house overnight with no prior notice may sound a little sus to said freshman’s parents?

 

_ jisung:  _ bold of you to assume my parents care about me or my whereabouts

 

_ lele:  _ JISUNGSHFJKNHSDK

 

_ nana:  _ MOOD…

 

_ jeno:  _ so yes hes crashing w me we’ll drive to school in the morning and it’ll be fine

 

_ injun:  _ he needs clothes

 

_ jisung:  _ it’s fine i stole one of mark’s shirts

 

_ mark:  _ WHICH ONE

 

_ jisung:  _ the one that was hanging up

 

_ jisung:  _ it says gucci

 

_ mark:  _ I JUST BOUGHT THAT

 

_ mark:  _ I WAS GONNA WEAR IT ON MY DATE TOMORROW NIGHT >:((

 

_ mark:  _ YOU REALLY WAITED UNTIL JENO DROVE AWAY TO TELL ME HUH

 

_ donghyuck:  _ d-date

 

_ jeno:  _ yes he did and hes smug about it

 

_ jeno:  _ . date

 

_ jeno:  _ but i thought

 

_ mark:  _ you were wrong

 

_ mark:  _ about both things

 

_ donghyuck:  _ date?

 

_ mark:  _ yeah theres this kid in my psych class who asked me to the movies so i said what the hell why not

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh 

 

_ mark:  _ kind of excited

 

_ mark:  _ hes not that cute or bright or anything but he seems like a sweet kid

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he?

 

_ mark:  _ yeah 

 

_ mark:  _ i’m experimenting

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh ok

 

* * *

__

 

**_private chat between jeno and mark!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ that was a dick move and you know it

 

_ mark:  _ what

 

_ jeno:  _ break hyuck’s heart and tell him you’re dating guys in the same few texts? that’s. shitty

 

_ mark:  _ as shitty as eunji is to you?

 

_ jeno:  _ what

 

_ mark:  _ you bit your lip raw jeno i saw you when you picked jisung up

 

_ mark:  _ you’re pulling your hair again

 

_ mark:  _ idk what she said to you but clearly it stressed you out

 

_ jeno:  _ keep your nose out of my relationship and focus on yours

 

_ mark:  _ if i recall correctly, you’re the one who stuck your nose into mine.

 

 _mark:_ i’m tired. goodnight.

 

**_mark has logged off!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ night.

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between injun and donghyuck!_ **

 

_ injun:  _ you okay?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah

 

_ donghyuck:  _ it just. hurts

 

_ donghyuck:  _ to know that a) hes not interested in me

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and b) he’s interested in guys. just not me

 

_ injun: _ you have to give him a chance

 

_ donghyuck:  _ idk 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ everything seems kind of pointless 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ no matter how i try to get his attention he ignores me

 

_ donghyuck:  _ if i’m affectionate he freaks out and isolates himself from me

 

_ donghyuck:  _ maybe he just hates me and doesn’t want to make things weird in our group so we’re stuck in acquaintance limbo

 

_ injun:  _ no

 

_ injun:  _ mark loves you all right?

 

_ injun:  _ it doesnt even have to be love love

 

_ injun:  _ he adores you as a friend

 

_ injun:  _ he’s… he’s like jisung or me

 

_ injun:  _ but less closed off

 

_ injun:  _ you’ve just gotta go for it, okay? i promise you won’t be unhappy with the results

 

_ donghyuck:  _ maybe some other time

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m tired

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and sad

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m gonna go to bed early and try and shake this mood off

 

_ donghyuck:  _ gn, i love you

 

_ injun:  _ night hyuckie, i love you most 

 

_ injun:  _ talk to mark

 

_ injun:  _ you won’t regret it

 

**_donghyuck has logged off!_ **

 

**_injun has logged off!_ **

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus points to you if you can guess who mark's date is ;))
> 
> stay safe drink water and remember that ily!!!
> 
> -daniel 110818


	7. hit or miss i guess they never miss huh u got a boyfriend i bet he doesnt k-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung: violence for violence is the rule of beasts

_ jisung:  _ friends

 

_ jisung:  _ against the wishes of my most trusted advisor jeno i must inform all of you that our beloved markno are in a perpetual argument yet they’re doing nothing about it

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i gathered

 

_ injun:  _ good morning

 

_ lele:  _ morning

 

_ lele:  _ jeno why dont u just have it out with mark right now so i can figure out what’s going on c:

 

_ mark:  _ listen here buddy that was private information u hear

 

_ jeno:  _ jisung i’ll eat you

 

_ mark:  _ not if i eat him first

 

_ jeno:  _ now that they know we’re arguing am i allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up dickhead

 

_ nana:  _ i smell PROFANITY

 

_ donghyuck:  _ go off jeno

 

_ mark:  _ aren’t you supposed to be defending me

 

_ donghyuck:  _ anyways

 

_ mark:  _ WHAT DID I DO 

 

_ injun:  _ oh mark….

 

_ jeno:  _ Oh Mark………. Maybe u shouldnt be policing relationships if ur still this oblivious!

 

_ mark:  _ now listen here i may be a dumbass but i’m smart enough to understand the implications of that and i know with all of my heart they are Not true

 

_ mark:  _ right hyuck

 

_ donghyuck:  _ RIGHT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY WOULD I LIKE UR ASS…. ITS NOT LIKE UR MUCH TO BRAG ABOUT

 

_ nana:  _ Ouch! mark i’ll kill you

 

_ mark:  _ WHAT

 

_ injun:  _ look at him. we had a perfectly good hyuck and you broke him. why would you do that to him

 

_ mark:  _ WHAT

 

_ jeno:  _ dumbass

 

_ lele:  _ can i just say i love how markno are arguing but like……. you can tell it’s not that deep

 

_ mark:  _ oh it’s deep jeno’s pissed

 

_ jeno:  _ yeah i’m pissed

 

_ jeno:  _ i still love mark though which is why i’m angry

 

_ mark:  _ no you’re angry because you’re stubborn and don’t want to admit i’m right especially after *********

 

_ jisung:  _ IT’S OKAY GUYS I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH

 

_ injun:  _ u literally cant but continue

 

_ jisung: _ IT SAYS YESTERDAY BECAUSE JENO WAS ACTING WEIRD YESTERDAY!

 

_ lele:  _ JENO WAS WITH EUNJI YESTERDAY

 

_ jisung:  _ CHENLE DO U KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

 

_ lele:  _ YES!!!!!!!

 

_ nana:  _ maybe we shouldnt pry into jeno’s relationship that seems a bit. far

 

_ jeno:  _ yes thank u!

 

_ mark:  _ ur never gonna talk about it otherwise though so no

 

_ mark:  _ sorry jaemin i respect u but i know jeno’s never going to speak his mind

 

_ jeno:  _ for your information i did yesterday

 

_ mark:  _ well that explains it

 

_ jeno:  _ fuck you you’re the one who wanted this

 

_ jeno:  _ it’s your fucking fault

 

_ jeno:  _ and you were wrong

 

_ mark:  _ what’s this even about

 

_ jeno:  _ cell phone.

 

_ mark:  _ oh my GOD is she that paranoid

 

_ injun:  _ what does this MEAN

 

_ nana:  _ its not even 7am yet it’s too early for this

 

_ mark:  _ hey jeno

 

_ jeno:  _ yeah

 

_ mark:  _ hit or miss i guess they never miss huh

 

_ injun:  _ MARK NO

 

_ mark:  _ U GOT A GIRLFRIEND? I BET SHE DOESNT KISS YA

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MARK!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ SHE GON FIND A NEW BOY AND SHE WONT MISS YA!!!!!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ SHE GON SKRRRT AND HIT THE DAB LIKE WIZ KHALIFA!

 

_ jeno:  _ That was cold

 

_ lele:  _ i agree mark that was vicious and i dont even know half of what’s happening

 

_ jisung:  _ violence for violence is the rule of beasts

 

_ jeno:  _ thanks jisung

 

_ lele:  _ whatd he do

 

_ jisung:  _ Breathe

 

_ jeno:  _ he crabwalked into my room then did a handstand and fell feet-forward onto my bed

 

_ jeno:  _ then he pulled himself up and is now cuddling me

 

_ jeno:  _ this has never happened before what do i do

 

_ lele:  _ AW HE ONLY EVER CUDDLES WHEN HE CAN SENSE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS!!!

 

_ injun:  _ are you implying that jisung is an emotional support dog

 

_ lele:  _ i mean….

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jisung say woof!

 

_ jisung:  _ grrr

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ok furry

 

_ lele:  _ JISUNG IS A FURRY

 

_ mark:  _ JISUNG IS A FURRYGHJSFN

 

_ injun:  _ stop bullying jisung he’s not a furry :((

 

_ nana:  _ a What

 

_ lele:  _ oh jae

 

_ donghyuck:  _ no one calls him that call him nana or minnie or jaem

 

_ nana:  _ chenle is allowed to call me anything he wants to 

 

_ nana:  _ hes the light of my life

 

_ lele:  _ can i call you min!!!!

 

_ nana:  _ yes!!!!!!!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ this is so fucking wholesome im crying at 7am

 

_ mark:  _ my bones melted

 

_ lele:  _ do you need more? 

 

_ mark:  _ HUH?

 

_ lele:  _ do you know how many bones you have right now? 206

 

_ lele:  _ when you were born you had 369 but them puppies fused

 

_ lele:  _ wouldn’t you want to go back?

 

_ lele:  _ have as many bones as you used to?

 

_ lele:  _ what if i could help you

 

_ mark:  _ i am so fucking afraid please stay in china and don’t come back

 

_ injun:  _ hush, let him speak

 

_ injun:  _ tell me more

 

_ lele:  _ not you! lest we not forget that ye once defended the Furry in His time of weakness. everyone knows that naughty children do not deserve their stolen bones

 

_ injun:  _ i’m about to steal your fucking bones if you don’t give mine back you dense son of a bitch

 

_ lele:  _ Hark! the Fool hath spake in mine presence! hitherto i thote all midgetes illiterate and mute! 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ a christmas miracle

 

_ injun:  _ i’m going to beat your ass 

 

_ lele:  _ with all of the centimet'rs thee hast stored in thine adult bones

 

_ mark:  _ why are you talking like this i’m so afraid

 

_ jeno:  _ say youre afraid again and ill beat you up let the kid sell us bones

 

_ lele:  _ art thou interest’d?

 

_ jeno:  _ yyyes

 

_ lele:  _ tell me the secrets of thine argument betwixt thee and marcus, Fool.

 

_ jeno:  _ no

 

_ lele:  _ Then perish.

 

_ injun:  _ i don’t like it here anymore

 

_ lele:  _ then kicketh the bucket

 

_ mark:  _ are you using the shakespearean translator on lingojam to talk like that

 

_ jisung:  _ i’m logged into his google rn and yes it’s in his history

 

_ lele:  _ The just claimeth did get the right v'rdict.  Lodge one rosebush near the p'rch steps and waiteth f'r thy prey to findeth thee

 

_ lele:  _ begone out of mine own searcheth hist'ry, Fool

 

_ jisung:  _ What, You Egg?

 

_ mark:  _ [he stabs him]

 

_ injun:  _ i want to go HOME.

 

_ lele:  _ fie! cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb thee distemperate blinking idiot

 

_ injun:  _ huh

 

_ lele:  _ shouldn't thee all beest in class even but now

 

_ jisung:  _ nay. i am “ill”

 

_ jeno:  _ you’re going to school with me brat i’m not letting you stay home and ruin your education

 

_ jisung:  _ HOLP ME

 

_ jisung:  _ CHENLE

 

_ lele:  _ your gods cannot helpe you now, Furry.

 

_ injun:  _ i am officially skipping school so i don’t have to deal with all of ur combined bullshit

 

_ injun:  _ except for you jaemin you’re lovely and we’re delighted to have you here

 

_ nana:  _ c:

 

_ donghyuck:  _ fuck it i’m coming with you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i wanna get froyo like we talked about a day or two ago

 

_ injun:  _ you’re literally the biggest annoyance i’ve ever encountered but okay

 

_ donghyuck:  _ aw i love you too :*

 

_ nana:  _ u are NOT ditching me on my second day of school ever!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh but i am

 

_ donghyuck:  _ DONT GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT JAEMIN WE STILL HAVE FIVE MINUTES OF THE WALK TO SCHOOL LEFT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I LOVE YOU :(((( FORGIVE ME

 

_ injun:  _ why dont u just say it out loud dummy

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he has his earbuds in and he’s got his music turned up and it’s making me sad because that’ll mess up his hearing and then he’ll be like me >:(((

 

_ nana:  _ ...u DO care crying emoji crying emoji crying emoji

 

_ lele:  _ u missed one

 

_ nana:  _ thanks i didnt notice

 

_ nana:  _ *crying emoji

 

_ lele:  _ better

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’ll walk you to class how about that

 

_ nana:  _ no stay the whole day and actually learn stuff don’t you have a test this week 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m reaaaaally not feeling school today

 

_ donghyuck:  _ shitty mood

 

_ mark:  _ oh what happened who do i need to fight

 

_ jeno:  _ i give up

 

_ injun:  _ you complete and utter dumbass

 

_ lele:  _ you FOOL

 

_ jisung:  _ YOU NEANDERTHAL.

 

_ lele:  _ YOU TROGLODYTE.

 

_ donghyuck:  _ lol nothing im fine 

 

_ injun:  _ hyuckie i’ll take you to that cafe you like for breakfast and we can walk around town until lunchtime okay?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ okay thank you junnie you’re too sweet i love you

 

_ jeno:  _ hey mark

 

_ mark:  _ don’t

 

_ jeno:  _ how’re you holding up?

 

_ mark:  _ fuck off!!! asshole

 

_ mark:  _ i love you but you’re a dick

 

_ jeno:  _ ...no u

 

_ mark:  _ you big baby

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and mark!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ hey mark!!!

 

_ mark:  _ hyuck!!!!!! the light of my life what brings u to my dms

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i just wanted to wish you good luck on ur date that u mentioned, that’s all

 

_ donghyuck:  _ hope it goes well

 

_ mark:  _ aw thanks!! i think it will, daniel’s a sweet guy

 

_ donghyuck:  _ daniel?

 

_ mark:  _ kang daniel

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh cool

 

_ mark:  _ you need a love life by the way

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh no no my love life is great! lots of stuff happening

 

_ mark:  _ oh yeah? 

 

_ mark:  _ like what

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

_ mark:  _ you’re gonna WHAT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah,,

 

_ mark:  _ oh

 

_ mark:  _ that’s cool

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and nana!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i just did something really stupid

 

_ donghyuck:  _ really really monumentally stupid

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and idk if im gonna be able to get myself out of it

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jaemin?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ minnie

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ah shit ur in class arent you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ fuuuuck

 

_ donghyuck:  _ okay okay i can do this

 

_ donghyuck:  _ if things go south i might not be at practice today okay i don’t. i dont know

 

_ donghyuck:  _ but can you have your melatonin stash with you in case i do come back? im gonna need it

 

_ donghyuck:  _ im gonna go meet renjun now

 

_ donghyuck:  _ hopefully everything goes well

 

_ donghyuck:  _ this is a bad idea

 

_ donghyuck:  _ bye minnie do well in class

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i love you

 

**_donghyuck has logged off!_ **

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you Smell the markhyuck tension....... you're so very welcome
> 
> what do you think hyuck is gonna do? clearly my boy is worried. he's an idiot. hes my idiot and that's valid i love him
> 
> AND I NEED TO CLARIFY THIS: i didnt make mark go on a date with daniel kang because my name is daniel i needed someone not in nct for mark to be gay for and mr kang was the first person i thought of. with that, i present to you: Mark Trying To Get Over Hyuck (And Failing)!
> 
> stay safe drink water and remember that i love you!!
> 
> -daniel 111118


	8. you're all i want go away tate ur all i have go AWAYAGHDAKSKSKKSASSJSDJAAA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: you are Way too into this
> 
> injun: let me have my MOMENT you bitch
> 
> donghyuck: boo you whore

**_private chat between nana and donghyuck!_ **

 

_ nana:  _ duckie

 

_ nana:  _ idk if you’re still there or whatever but do whatever you were going to do

 

_ nana:  _ the outcome can’t possibly be as bad as you’re picturing in your head

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i already did

 

_ donghyuck:  _ it was as bad as i pictured it in my head

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i hate him oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him

 

_ nana:  _ who? 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ fucking daniel kang

 

_ nana:  _ i thought he moved away

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he’s back apparently

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he’s mark’s date tonight

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and mark pmed me and kept messing with me ab my love life and i just. i wanted to impress him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and i was so thrown from the fact that daniel was back that i just. i told him that my love life was fine and then i told him i’m gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun and i went to get coffee and i was holding his hand across the table because he does that when i need to be comforted

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and i don’t know what i was thinking it was the worst idea ever

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i just.

 

_ nana:  _ you kissed him?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i kissed him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and don’t get me wrong i enjoyed it he’s a good kisser and he’s pretty but he’s one of my best friends and it felt WRONG and all i want is mark but i can’t have him i can never have him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ anyways

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun pulled away

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he looked at me and then he bolted into the bathroom 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i didn’t even try to follow him i can’t do that i’ve embarrassed myself enough

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he hates me oh god jaemin he’s going to hate me

 

_ donghyuck:  _ this is daniel all over again

 

_ donghyuck:  _ why do i keep doing this

 

_ donghyuck:  _ one day i’m going to slip up and do it with mark too and he’s gonna leave me too because everyone. leaves

 

_ nana:  _ i’m not leaving

 

_ nana:  _ mark is NOT leaving

 

_ nana:  _ renjun isn’t leaving

 

_ nana:  _ i don’t know him that well but i understand him well enough to know that he cares deeply for you and he’ll understand everything if you just explain it to him

 

_ nana:  _ tell him about daniel

 

_ nana:  _ he’ll understand i promise

 

_ donghyuck:  _ what if he doesn’t? i don’t wanna lose him too i know we joke around like we hate each other in the gc but i love him so much he was there for me when mark graduated and he was the only one who pushed for me to take more advanced classes this year he cares so much for me and i feel the same towards him i can’t lose him he’s such a huge part of my life

 

_ nana:  _ text him

 

_ nana:  _ now

 

_ donghyuck:  _ fine

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and injun!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun?

 

_ injun:  _ what

 

_ donghyuck:  _ can you come out

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and talk to me

 

_ injun:  _ i just want to know why you did it

 

_ injun:  _ you know i don’t want a relationship not after last year

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i know 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and i’m sorry

 

_ injun:  _ then why did you do it!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i accidentally told mark that i would have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

_ donghyuck:  _ because he said he was going on a date with someone from my past who contributed to a fuckton of my mental health problems right now

 

_ donghyuck:  _ but mark didnt know that

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and i was disoriented and i said i’d have a boyfriend and i. panicked and kissed you and i know that’s really shitty and i’m so sorry

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i don’t expect you to be my friend anymore but please don’t hate me

 

_ injun:  _ woah woah woah all i asked was for you to explain i didn’t ask you to grovel

 

_ injun:  _ even i’m not that evil

 

_ injun:  _ i understand duckie it’s okay

 

_ injun:  _ i just wish you would’ve. explained before kissing me

 

_ injun: _ a kid’s gotta prepare himself to kiss his new fake boyfriend 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ?????

 

_ injun:  _ i’ll be your fake boyfriend. idiot

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ?!??!?!?!????!!!?!?!?!?!?!???

 

_ injun:  _ we’re gonna be the best fucking power couple ever

 

_ donghyuck:  _ but what about mark i’m only doing this for him

 

_ donghyuck:  _ that seems a little selfish

 

_ donghyuck:  _ what’s in it for you

 

_ injun:  _ donghyuck i’m touch starved literally just hang off me like how you want to with mark and k*ss me or whatever and i’ll be content

 

_ donghyuck:  _ that’s gay

 

_ injun:  _ we’re gay now babie

 

_ donghyuck:  _ when are we gonna tell the others

 

_ injun:  _ idk why don’t u come kiss me and find out the answer

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m not kissing you in the stall of a cafe men’s bathroom

 

_ injun:  _ it’s not a stall it’s a whole ass private bathroom!!!

 

_ injun:  _ this place is deluxe

 

_ donghyuck:  _ come back your coffee is getting cold

 

_ donghyuck:  _ we can talk out the details

 

_ injun:  _ no

 

_ injun:  _ this bathroom smells good

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you’re so WEIRD we’re breaking up

 

_ injun:  _ IT’S A CINNAMON-APPLE SCENTED CANDLE I WANT IT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I’LL BUY YOU ONE JUST GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM

 

_ injun:  _ HAVE MY COFFEE IN HAND AND BE READY TO RUN.

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

_ injun:  _ I’M GOING TO STEAL THE CANDLE

 

_ donghyuck:  _ RENJUN! DO NOT STEAL THE CANDLE!

 

_ injun:  _ FUCK THE PATRIARCHY THIS ONE’S FOR YOU KARL MARX MY LOVELY BOYFRIEND!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ KARL MARX WOULD’VE WANTED EVERYONE TO HAVE THAT CANDLE. NOT JUST YOU YOU CAPITALIST PIG

 

_ injun:  _ THIS ONE’S FOR YOU MOTHMAN MY MOTHY BOYFRIEND!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MOTHMAN LIVES IN POINT PLEASANT, WEST VIRGINIA, AND HAS NO TIME FOR MATTERS AS TRIVIAL OF THIS. PUT THE CANDLE DOWN.

 

_ injun:  _ IM RUNNING BITCH ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!

 

_ injun:  _ BYE MWAH LOVE U

 

_ donghyuck:  _ FUUUCK

 

* * *

 

_ injun:  _ hey it’s yall’s lunch hour right

 

_ nana:  _ yeah we just got out of class why

 

_ lele:  _ every hour is lunch hour when you’re in china c:

 

_ injun:  _ anyways

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun and i have an announcement

 

_ nana:  _ OH BOY

 

_ nana:  _ OH LAWD HE COMIN!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ what’s ur announcement and why is jaemin so excited

 

_ nana:  _ JAEMIN IS EXCITED BECAUSE JAEMIN KNOWS WHAT’S HAPPENING AND HE TOLD HYUCK SO

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah he kind of did

 

_ donghyuck:  _ anyways

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i have a boyfriend now

 

_ jeno:  _ oh?

 

_ injun:  _ and so do i

 

_ jeno:  _ OH

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun and i are dating

 

_ lele:  _ sorry you

 

_ lele:  _ you’re

 

_ jisung:  _ you’re WHAT

 

_ lele:  _ donghyuck i thought you were in love with [REDACTED]

 

_ lele:  _ and renjun i thought you hated men

 

_ injun:  _ you don’t know my life

 

_ injun:  _ i’ve been pining over hyuckie since graduation

 

_ injun:  _ and now he’s mine

 

_ - _

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and injun!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you are Way too into this

 

_ injun:  _ let me have my MOMENT you bitch

 

_ donghyuck:  _ boo you whore

  
  


* * *

 

_ jisung:  _ that’s…. a lot to take in

 

_ nana:  _ im happy for you guys

 

_ mark:  _ oh cool

 

_ mark:  _ renjun i didn’t even notice you liked him

 

_ mark:  _ and i really thought hyuck liked someone else with my whole chest

 

_ lele:  _ who did you think hyuck liked

 

_ mark:  _ [redacted]

 

_ lele:  _ i want nothing more than to punch you in the face

 

_ lele:  _ but you’re emotionally wounded so i’ll pass… this time

 

_ jisung:  _ i’m in awe how did this happen

 

_ jisung:  _ this is the last thing i would’ve expected to happen in a million years

 

_ injun:  _ well hyuck and i were getting coffee this morning and he leaned across the table and just. kissed me

 

_ injun:  _ so

 

_ donghyuck:  _ he just looked so pretty there i couldn’t not kiss him

 

_ mark:  _ that’s great, im proud of you both and i’m really happy for both of you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ haha thanks

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between jeno and mark!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ we’re in the same boat my friend

 

_ mark:  _ the fuck is that supposed to mean

 

_ jeno:  _ you like hyuck. i liked renjun. now they’re dating

 

_ jeno:  _ solidarity you know

 

_ mark:  _ you still like renjun

 

_ mark:  _ you’re just using eunji to get over him rejecting you last year and i know it

 

_ jeno:  _ let’s not talk about that

 

_ jeno:  _ what we are gonna talk about is how this is so obviously a ploy to get you to “notice” how whipped you are for hyuck and hopefully ask him out

 

_ mark:  _ what the hell 

 

_ jeno:  _ in a year when you’re on a date with donghyuck and he casually says “hey remember when i fake dated renjun to get you to date me” know that i told you so

 

_ mark:  _ that is literally the most insane thing i’ve heard all week

 

_ mark:  _ just let them be a disgustingly cute couple and move on from renjun and let me move on from donghyuck

 

_ mark:  _ please

 

_ mark:  _ i’m trying to let go

 

_ mark:  _ they deserve each other. you have eunji (for however much longer). i’ll find someone too. i don’t deserve donghyuck and i’ve accepted it along with the fact that i really need to stop being so hung up over him

 

_ jeno:  _ woah kid listen i didn’t ask for your sobfest

 

_ jeno:  _ and i’m going to sidestep our perpetual argument as jisung put it

 

_ jeno:  _ and say that when they break up

 

_ jeno: _ you need to get off your ass and go ask hyuck out i’m tired of seeing you both beat yourselves up about how much you love the other

 

_ mark:  _ stop saying things like that it’s bad enough with the others

 

_ mark:  _ you’re entertaining the part of me that’s stupid and won’t listen to reason and i don’t like it okay

 

_ mark:  _ i have a date to get ready for so i’m going to go do that

 

_ mark:  _ i’m going to try and find a chance in daniel okay

 

_ jeno:  _ daniel who

 

_ mark:  _ kang

 

_ jeno:  _ fuck

 

_ jeno:  _ you can’t go out with him he ruined hyuck

 

_ mark:  _ what?

 

_ mark:  _ you’re thinking of a different daniel. this daniel is sweet and he wouldn’t hurt a fly

 

_ jeno:  _ his name used to be kang euigeon but he changed it

 

_ jeno:  _ he’s from busan

 

_ jeno:  _ he’s a dancer

 

_ jeno:  _ i know exactly which daniel you’re talking about and i’m telling you don’t go on another date with him after tonight

 

_ jeno:  _ if you do it’s going to kill hyuck

 

_ jeno:  _ i’m going to be the one to tell you the story but just know… hyuck’s anxiety wouldn’t be half as bad as it is now if daniel kang had never been in his life

 

_ jeno:  _ i don’t know if he’s changed and i don’t care just get the hell away from him after this date

 

_ mark:  _ what the fuck

 

_ mark:  _ ...okay?

 

_ jeno:  _ i promise you everything will be better for all of us if you don’t date daniel kang

 

_ mark:  _ …….okay

 

_ mark:  _ i’ll try

 

_ jeno:  _ good enough

 

_ jeno:  _ good luck on your date, mark. ask him if he remembers me and “haechan.”

 

**_jeno has logged off!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ that was weird as shit

 

_ mark:  _ but k

 

**_mark has logged off!_ **

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a more serious chapter...... spare change? Spare change?
> 
> this was a shitshow! what's going on with these idiots!!!!! so much is happening!!! what the hell did kang daniel ever do to you? find out in the next chapter: coming soon to a theater near u!
> 
> jeno and renjun? thinking emoji thinking emoji thinking emoji
> 
> mutual pining markhyuck? THINKING EMOJI THINKING EMOJI
> 
> i'm very satisfied by the amount of comments last chapter stating what a dumbass mark is. i'm glad to have evoked such a visceral reaction from all of you and i hope you're just as frustrated with mark as i am (which is pretty hard considering i'm the one writing him as an oblivious hunk of dumbass).
> 
> also im sorry about making daniel evil i love him with all of my heart
> 
> stay safe drink water eat an apple and remember that i love and appreciate u! all of u! yes, u!!! insert all the cute pink heart emojis
> 
> -daniel 111118 (two updates in the same day... PHEW)


	9. shit hits the fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark: you want to what?
> 
> donghyuck: isaid i want t kiss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's underage drinking in this chapter as well as mentions of emotional and physical abuse and hyuck has half of a mental breakdown so ##fun, please be safe i love u

**_private chat between nana and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _nana:_ how goes your day off from school

 

 _donghyuck:_ good

 

 _donghyuck:_ renjun and i have been at my house sucking face for an hour

 

 _nana:_ DID I ASK? NO

 

 _donghyuck:_ it was imperative for you to know

 

 _nana:_ IT WAS NOT!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ no longer am i touch starved! i have a fake boyfriend to make out with when i’m sad

 

 _nana:_ ur gonna get attaaaaached

 

 _donghyuck:_ am not

 

 _donghyuck:_ he’s a good fuckin kisser tho i’ll miss it whenever we break up

 

 _donghyuck:_ hold on mark is texting me

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH NO MARK IS TEXTING ME

 

 _nana:_ AAAAAAAH

 

* * *

 

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _mark:_ hey i have a question

 

 _donghyuck:_ shoot

 

 _mark:_ do you know daniel? jeno said you did

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeah haha we used to be close friends but we fell out of touch

 

 _mark:_ ah

 

 _mark:_ one more thing

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeah?

 

 _mark:_ who’s haechan? jeno told me to ask daniel if he remembered him and “haechan” and i didn’t want to ask without knowing the story

 

 _donghyuck:_ i used to go by that

 

 _donghyuck:_ back in school before i transferred

 

 _donghyuck:_ so that the kids wouldn’t know my real name

 

 _donghyuck:_ so thst’s whatdaniel knew me as

 

 _mark:_ you okay?

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeyah jsut a typo!! i’m fine

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and injun!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ i can’t breathe whdere areyiu

 

 _injun:_ in the kitchen

 

 _injun:_ i’ll be right there

 

 _injun:_ mark again?

 

 _donghyuck:_ not quite

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between jeno and mark!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ so did you go on the date

 

 _mark:_ yeah, he’s really sweet

 

 _mark:_ i like him a lot

 

 _jeno:_ what the fuck mark i told you not to mess with him

 

 _jeno:_ he’s toxic

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck said he was fine

 

 _mark:_ and he was really nice to me

 

 _jeno:_ you talked to donghyuck about him?

 

 _mark:_ yeah?

 

 _jeno:_ i have to go

 

 _jeno:_ he’s at his house right

 

 _mark:_ yeah

 

 _jeno:_ rn im on a campus date with eunji but she’s in the bathroom okay i need you to run out to the bathrooms outside your dorm and when she comes out tell her i had to go help donghyuck

 

 _mark:_ what are you talking about

 

 _mark:_ take me with you

 

 _mark:_ i want to know what’s going on and if hyuck’s in trouble then i want to help

 

 _jeno:_ you’re not gonna understand and you’re only gonna make it worse

 

 _mark:_ i already don’t understand

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck said he was cool with daniel

 

 _jeno:_ well sometimes donghyuck lies about his emotional state in case you haven’t noticed mark

 

 _mark:_ what happened between them

 

 _mark:_ i’m coming to your car are you parked where you usually are

 

 _jeno:_ don’t mark

 

 _jeno:_ and its not my story to tell

 

 _jeno:_ im leaving without you

 

**_jeno has logged off!_ **

 

 _mark:_ #life update: just jumped into a moving car!

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _mark:_ hyuckie are you okay

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeyah im fime

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark this is renjun i’d really appreciate it if you didn’t text hyuck right now

 

 _mark:_ give him the phone back

 

 _donghyuck:_ he’s not emotionally stable he wouldn’t want to talk to you like this

 

 _donghyuck:_ i don’t know how but he got his hands on some alcohol and he’s having a breakdown and i don’t know how to fix this so please don’t text him

 

 _mark:_ renjun please just give him the fucking phone

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck?

 

 _donghyuck:_ you cantm datehim he’ll hurt you

 

 _donghyuck:_ i throught he was sweet too but he wasmtn

 

 _donghyuck:_ icant let theya happen tot you too

 

 _donghyuck:_ ilovr you too ncuh to see him doto you wjat he did to mme

 

 _donghyuck:_ i kvoebuou

 

 _donghyuck:_ i can’t!!!! fuck type!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ i lvoe you

 

 _donghyuck:_ fuuuuuuck

 

 _mark:_ hyuckie i love you too can you please hold on and wait for me i’m almost to your house

 

 _donghyuck:_ dont say that to me!!! fucj you

 

 _mark:_ what?

 

 _donghyuck:_ dont day that uou love me do you have any idea how bad that hurts!!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ AAAAAAAAAH

 

 _donghyuck:_ maaaaaarklee

 

 _donghyuck:_ i wan tto jsudd you

 

 _mark:_ you want to what?

 

 _donghyuck:_ isaid i want t kiss you

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck i think you should try and sleep

 

 _mark:_ you have a boyfriend

 

 _mark:_ you have renjun okay

 

 _mark:_ he’s good for you

 

 _donghyuck:_ isaid what i fukcking said mark

 

 _mark:_ you’re not thinking straight

 

 _mark:_ jeno and i will be over in just a few minutes with some stuff for you

 

 _mark:_ try and sleep

 

 _mark:_ for me

 

 _donghyuck:_ inknew they were wrong i knew you didn’t fuucjing loveme

 

 _donghyuck:_ ims orry

 

 _donghyuck:_ im. so sorry

 

**_donghyuck has logged off!_ **

 

* * *

 

 _lele:_ jisung is a furry

 

 _jisung:_ hey you! i hate you

 

 _lele:_ suddenly i forgot how to read korean

 

 _lele:_ what’s an annyeonghaseyo

 

 _jisung:_ i’m going to kill u

 

 _jisung:_ ni hao kitty bitch!

 

 _lele:_ KITTY BITCH? JISUNG? IS THAT U?

 

 _jisung:_. to be honest

 

 _jisung:_ i dont know

 

 _jisung:_ THE KIDS IN MY CLASS R CALLING EACH OTHER “KITTY BOYS” “KITTY GIRLS” AND “KITTY BITCHES”

 

 _jisung:_ THEYRE IMPRINTING ON ME.

 

 _lele:_ whys the gc so dead

 

 _jisung:_ oh yeah jeno stranded me to go keep hyuck from dying or something

 

 _jisung:_ its chill

 

 _donghyuck:_ WHO TOLD U IM DYINGNM? IM FINE

 

 _donghyuck:_ IM SINGLE AMD READY 2 PARTY!

 

 _jisung:_ you have a loving boyfriend of one day

 

 _donghyuck:_ whho

 

 _donghyuck:_ is it mark

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH MY GID OH IS IT AMRK?

 

 _lele:_ no hyuckie your boyfriend is renjun remember

 

 _lele:_ he asked you out today

 

 _donghyuck:_ oh yeah

 

 _donghyuck:_ gonna go ksis him

 

 _donghyuck:_ bye,

 

 _lele:_ that was strange im concerned

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between jeno and mark!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ you okay?

 

 _mark:_ yeah

 

 _mark:_ i just needed a breather

 

 _mark:_ that was a lot

 

 _jeno:_ hyuck’s asking for you to come back

 

 _mark:_ i don’t think i’m gonna come back for a while

 

 _mark:_ my head hurts

 

 _mark:_ i need to do some thinking

 

 _jeno:_ okay

 

**_jeno has gone offline!_ **

 

 _mark:_...okay

 

**_mark has gone offline!_ **

 

* * *

 

mark sits at the end of the lees’ long driveway, his back against the cold metal post of their mailbox. his eyes are shut tightly, and his knees are bunched up to his chest, held there snugly by his arms. his head throbs, and there’s something in the pit of his stomach, something cold, something heavy. he wants nothing more than to throw up.

 

anything mark could’ve previously heard is drowned out by the rush of cars in the distance. donghyuck is lucky to live in a neighborhood so close to the city—mark doesn’t have the privilege of falling asleep to traffic sounds anymore. which he supposes is a bit trivial, but he can’t sleep without _something_ other than his roommate’s snoring to distract him.

 

the traffic is so loud that he doesn’t hear the footsteps approaching him, and he doesn’t realize someone is near him until they sit next to him and wrap an arm around him.

 

“hey,” jeno says softly, warmly. mark feels the weight in his stomach lessen a bit. jeno hasn’t willingly spoken to him since they first began arguing, and even in the few short conversations they’ve had face-to-face since, he hasn’t used his usual comforting tone of voice.

 

mark smiles. “hey,” he says back, eyes still closed.

 

he remembers why he’s outside and feels his heart constrict.

 

what hurts the most is that donghyuck knew he was coming. donghyuck _knew_ mark and jeno were coming to visit, and he still decided to have renjun pinned against the wall of the entrance hallway. it doesn’t matter if donghyuck doesn’t know mark likes him—it matters that donghyuck knows jeno used to love renjun, and mark can only assume that hurts jeno just as much as it hurt to watch himself.

 

there’s a small part of him that thinks that donghyuck did it _because_ mark was coming to visit. he stomps the thought down into the depths of his brain—the forbidden corner where all his thoughts concerning donghyuck go. there is too much imagery there: donghyuck sleeping, donghyuck cuddling him, donghyuck kissing him, holding his hand, laughing with him…

 

“penny for your thoughts?” jeno asks shortly, scooting closer to mark. there is no tension in the air between them as there was in the car. mark wonders why.

 

mark thinks for a few long seconds. he comes to an unsettling conclusion and pulls his knees even closer to his chest than they already had been.

 

“i think,” he says, and he doesn’t trust his voice as it wobbles and shakes and cracks with hoarseness, “i think i’m in love with him.”

 

jeno doesn’t say anything.

 

“and i think that he liked me, too, once… but he liked renjun more, and then he left me in the dust. i almost had him.”

 

jeno inhales sharply as if he’s going to say something, but he shakes his head. after a few seconds, he tries again, inhaling deeply as if it will convey the weight of his words.

 

mark does not comprehend what he says next for at least a few minutes.

 

“kang daniel emotionally abused donghyuck for an entire summer,” jeno whispers __completely out of the blue, the words spilling past his lips so fast that mark can barely make them out. “when it turned physical, donghyuck broke it off. i don’t care if he’s changed, mark, he fucking _traumatized_ donghyuck. do you get that? hyuck isn’t ever going to be the confident, happy-go-lucky freshman he was ever again.”

 

 _“fuck,”_ mark says quietly. he can’t even hear his own voice. “what the fuck.”

 

“now you know,” jeno sighs.

 

there’s nothing on mark’s mind anymore but the fury that he feels, the raging in his mind that turns his headache even worse and leaves a sour taste in his mouth. “i’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

 

“mark, you’re the size of a seventh grader.”

 

“brains over brawn, fuckwad,” mark shoots back, a smile now tugging at the corners of his lips.

 

jeno grins at him and rests his head on mark’s shoulder. mark thinks he missed this—being able to be as affectionate with jeno as he wanted. he has that now, even if it’s only for a short while longer.

 

“thank you for telling me about eunji,” jeno says, and mark startles, craning his neck to look at jeno’s face. his eyes are shut, and a frown is etched into his face, but he looks serene. “i think you’re right. about her cheating, i mean. i was going to break up with her today.”

 

“what did she say to you that day? i thought you got over your nervous habits.”

 

“i _did,”_ jeno groans softly. “she made me pick them up again. i asked her about her phone—because she had it, and you were right, it was her old phone. so i asked her if she was avoiding me, and she blew the fuck up on me. like, berated me for twenty minutes about how i should trust her, about how awful of a boyfriend i am. which, you know, seems suspicious, considering i treat her much better than most people would treat someone like her.”

 

mark unwraps a hand from around his knees and intertwines it with jeno’s free hand. “i’m sorry.”

 

“i didn’t even love her,” jeno snorts. “you were right about that, too. i kept trying to make myself, and i guess i liked her a _little,_ but i still always have loved renjun. but that’s never going to happen.”

 

“i wish i was renjun,” mark laments, thinking back to the cause of his being outside.

 

jeno turns to look at him with a grin. “and i wish i was donghyuck. we’re fucking idiots. the only difference between you and i is that _your_ love interest actually likes you back.”

 

mark sighs and closes his eyes. “shut up.”

 

he looks up at the sky. he can’t see the stars because of the clouds above, but he thinks of the forbidden thoughts in his mind and decides that donghyuck is prettier than any starry sky.

 

his phone buzzes in his pocket. it’s a text from jeno. he eyes the boy from the side, but the younger only nods his head at mark’s phone. he opens the text. it’s a screenshot of a conversation between jeno and jaemin.

 

“read,” jeno says. mark does.

 

* * *

 

 _jeno:_ is donghyuck only dating renjun to get mark’s attention?

 

 _nana:_ he’s doing it to impress mark so essentially yes

 

 _nana:_ if i still have to listen to him talk about how much he wants to kiss him when i haven’t even met the guy i’m going to explode

 

 _jeno:_ so to be clear donghyuck has a very real crush on mark

 

 _nana:_ yes he’s very strongly in gays with mark and is using renjun as an outlet for his frustrations

 

 _nana:_ why

 

 _nana:_ are u sending this to mark so he can step his coward ass up and claim his stinkie bf

 

 _jeno:_ actually yes thank u

 

 _nana:_ genius jaemin strikes again!

 

* * *

 

mark stares at the phone for a long time. at one point, jeno pokes him, and he flinches back into reality. “...so that’s why he’s so affectionate with me? that’s why he…”

 

jeno nods slowly.

 

mark squeezes his eyes shut. “god. i am _such_ a fucking idiot.”

 

he pulls out his phone.

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _mark:_ can we talk tomorrow

 

 _donghyuck:_ ifyou come back inside we cna do anything you want

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck i’m serious i need to talk to you

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeah

 

 _donghyuck:_ that’s fine

 

 _mark:_ you need to go to bed and i need to get home. it’s late

 

 _mark:_ night donghyuck

 

 _mark:_ take some advil in the morning

 

 _donghyuck:_ gn

 

 _donghyuck:_ i fucking lov eu

 

**_donghyuck has logged off!_ **

 

**_mark has logged off!_ **

 

* * *

 

mark stands and offers his hand to jeno, pulling him up. “i propose we stay at your place and cuddle,” he says, smiling softly.

 

jeno laughs. his eyes crinkle up. mark realizes how much he missed making jeno laugh.

 

“come on,” jeno says, wrapping an arm around mark and guiding him forward in the dark. “let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO unsatisfied w this chapter hnnnnnngh! but anyways the Bad Markhyuck Angst? it's dying out lads! they might get together soon wrow what about that
> 
> i experimented with writing out an important scene rather than just doing it over text or implying that it happened because this was the best way to get the point across and i'm honestly not sure if i like how it is so??? let me know if you'd like me to write some stuff out (related to relationships and character arcs) as opposed to putting them in text format
> 
> this chapter was 2k words which is an extra thousand words more than i normally write for each chapter so Damb! didn't know i could do that
> 
> yall wanna form the Daniel Smackdown Club? we meet on whatever day is convenient for club members and either talk shit about daniel in this fic beat the shit out of daniel in this fic OR do the same but to me, the author, who is also named daniel. admission is free please bring your own juice box
> 
> and i promise we'll get back to our regularly scheduled crackheads within the next chapter or two,,, u just gotta keep holding on my friends.... my comrades....
> 
> thanks to my stupid boyfriend for making me realize that i've been projecting onto all of the characters but hyuck the most and i didn't even notice i was projecting onto hyuck..... that's stupid and i hate it it's so fucking funnyfhnjsh
> 
> please drink water stay safe and remember that i love u!!! please don't hate daniel kang because of me because i know when i read fics w/ people i like in bad roles it makes me not like them as much gksdhfj. anyways ilu!
> 
> -daniel 111318


	10. (vine voice) wrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: IM GONNA THROW NYSELF INTO A FUCKING VOLCANO!!!
> 
> lele: do you already have a volcano you want? i know a guy

_lele:_ good morning guys and gays today is thursday and i’m officially leaving for the airport

 

 _donghyuck:_ i can’t feel my HEAD

 

 _injun:_ that’s why we don’t drink kids! use donghyuck as an example

 

 _nana:_ i was asleep all of last night what happened

 

 _donghyuck:_ really what happened

 

 _injun:_ read ur texts

 

 _donghyuck:_ oh NO

 

 _mark:_ oh yes!

 

 _donghyuck:_ IM GONNA THROW NYSELF INTO A FUCKING VOLCANO!!!

 

 _lele:_ do you already have a volcano you want? i know a guy

 

 _donghyuck:_ NOT THE TIME THIS IS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY RNTIRE LIFE

 

 _injun:_ well. i read his texts and understand the implications of them so i can finally say donghyuck we’re breaking up

 

 _injun:_ finally a day with ur ass and all i got out of it was a candle

 

 _jisung:_ WHAT’S! HAPPENING!

 

 _injun:_ oh donghyuck and i fake dated because hyuck told mark he was gonna get a boyfriend

 

 _nana:_ WND I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME

 

 _mark:_ this the best part why did he date you renjun

 

 _injun:_ TO IMPREEEESSS YOU

 

 _donghyuck:_ MARK I CANT TALK TO YOU TODAY I HAVE TO WATER MY FISH

 

 _donghyuck:_ UH I HAVE TO EALK MY CAT

 

 _mark:_ hyuck

 

 _donghyuck:_ IM HUNGOVER!!! HAHA ILL BE IN BED ALL DAY

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck

 

 _donghyuck:_ IM SICK IM COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING

 

 _mark:_ DONGHYUCK.

 

 _jisung:_ rhat was hot someone do that to me

 

 _lele:_ you’re like three

 

 _jisung:_ do it

 

 _lele:_ JISUNG.

 

 _lele:_ OH NO I DID IT

 

 _jisung:_ great now i want a fuckin boyfriend to say JISUNG menacingly

 

 _mark:_ i’m going to walk to your house

 

 _donghyuck:_ im at school

 

 _mark:_ no you’re not i can literally see your location on your contact

 

 _donghyuck:_ im running late!!! i should be there in a bit hah

 

 _mark:_ if you move a fucking muscle i’m throwing away your clc photocard collection

 

 _donghyuck:_ you wouldn’t do that to yujin you love her too much

 

 _mark:_ try me

 

 _mark:_ i’m coming over

 

 _mark:_ and we’re going to talk

 

* * *

 

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _mark:_ and then i’m going to kiss you

 

 _mark:_ okay?

 

 _donghyuck:_ YOURE GOINF TO WHAT

 

 _mark:_ you heard me

 

 _mark:_ i can see your house. i’m literally just down the block don’t you dare leave

 

 _donghyuck: ._ okay

 

* * *

 

 

 _nana:_ donghyuck u good?

 

 _donghyuck:_ im gonna fucking pitch myself into a sinkhole

 

 _lele:_ jaemin told jisung and i the story

 

 _nana:_ secondhand story!! i got it from renjun

 

 _injun:_ you SNITCH

 

 _mark:_ he’s just freaking out because i said i’m gonna kiss him

 

 _injun:_ you have literally NEVER been a confident gay. what’s going on

 

 _lele:_ it is a known fact that panicked gays become confident gays when faced with a panicking gay

 

 _mark:_ also i’ve been waiting for this for a long time

 

 _mark:_ well not waiting

 

 _mark:_ hoping

 

 _mark:_ hyuck can you let me in

 

 _donghyuck:_ Nope!

 

 _nana:_ DONGHYUCK

 

 _donghyuck:_ NOPE!

 

 _mark:_ come on let me in your bedroom

 

 _donghyuck:_ I DONT. I DONT TRUST THIS

 

 _donghyuck:_ RENJUN COME MAKE OUT WITH ME AGAIN AND SCARE MARK OFF

 

 _injun:_ no

 

 _injun:_ i felt so bad for mark that was really a bad move on your part

 

 _injun:_ also my back hurts from being THROWN INTO THE WALL

 

 _donghyuck:_ SORRY

 

 _donghyuck:_ I WAS SAD

 

 _donghyuck:_ AND DRUNK

 

 _injun:_ for the record mark hyuck is a great kisser you’ll be pleasantly surprised

 

 _donghyuck:_ do you have an off button

 

 _injun:_ nope :)

 

 _mark:_ let! me! in!

 

 _donghyuck:_ No!

 

* * *

 

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

 _mark:_ listen to me

 

 _donghyuck:_ not hearing it!

 

 _mark:_ when i met you

 

 _mark:_ you drove me insane

 

 _mark:_ i didn’t understand why you didn’t treat me differently

 

 _mark:_ everyone treated me different because to them i was the trans freak

 

 _mark:_ to everyone else i was a girl

 

 _mark:_ but you treated me like you would treat any of your male friends

 

 _mark:_ and i wasn’t. i wasn’t a girl. i was mark

 

 _donghyuck:_ youve always been mark to me

 

 _mark:_ not even jeno treated me as well as you did and he was (and is) my best friend

 

 _mark:_ and i think somewhere along the way i realized that i loved you

 

 _mark:_ i’ve known since i was about to graduate and you said school wouldn’t be the same without me

 

 _mark:_ that’s why we drifted apart after i graduated

 

 _mark:_ that’s why i got shitfaced at graduation

 

 _mark:_ because i knew i could never have you

 

 _donghyuck:_ what the fuck

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’ve liked you since i met you

 

 _donghyuck:_ i fell in love with you your senior year

 

 _donghyuck:_ at graduation i nearly kissed you and i distanced myself from you because i thought you knew i liked you and i thought that getting away from you would make it hurt less

 

 _donghyuck:_ but it didn’t and i’ve been so fucking lonely without your stupid ass all summer

 

 _donghyuck:_ im tired of the tenseness when we talk and im tired of having to cancel plans once i find out you’re going because every time i see you i want to kiss you and i cant and

 

 _donghyuck:_ it hurts so bad mark

 

 _donghyuck:_ to know that i can’t

 

 _mark:_ you can

 

 _mark:_ you always can

 

 _mark:_ please let me in your room

 

 _donghyuck:_ just a minute let mestop crying

 

 _mark:_ no let me in

 

 _mark:_ i want to be romantic and wipe away your tears and then kiss you

 

 _donghyuck:_ oh my god shut UP

 

 _mark:_ you love it!!! i heard that laugh mr lee!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ we’re both mr lee dumbass

 

 _mark:_ OH I HEARD THE LOCK CLICK CAN I COME IN

 

 _donghyuck:_. go ahead

 

 _mark:_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

* * *

 

 

as soon as mark steps into donghyuck’s bedroom, he’s met with an armful of donghyuck. the younger clings to his chest, hands gripping the back of his shirt and fingers digging into skin dangerously close to the seam of his binder. under any other circumstances with _anyone_ else, mark would have pushed them away by now, but he finds that his sudden reminder of the fact that he has a binder (along with the rest of his dysphoria) is overpowered by the contentment that he feels with donghyuck safe in his arms.

 

donghyuck pulls away and stares at mark with red, puffy eyes, and mark thinks that he is beautiful, that he is _definitely_ more beautiful than any fucking stars in the sky.

 

“fuck you,” donghyuck says weakly. “i hate you, i hate me, and i hate the fact that we were too stupid to date a long time ago and avoid all this shit.”

 

mark laughs, and he doesn’t really realize what’s happening until after it’s too late for his brain to do anything but short circuit. somewhere in the midst of his laughter, donghyuck has grabbed his jaw and is now staring at him. mark stares back and tries to find something definite in donghyuck’s expression, but he can’t find anything.

 

donghyuck laughs a little. mark takes that as a good sign.

 

“i love you,” donghyuck grins at him, and mark takes that as an even better sign.

 

donghyuck kisses him, and for once, mark thinks that (for once) everything is okay.

 

they kiss for what feels like hours for mark, but really just must be a few minutes before donghyuck pulls away and rests his forehead on mark’s.

 

mark finds himself asking without even thinking about it. “will you be my boyfriend?”

 

donghyuck beams, and it seems like he can’t get enough of mark, because he leans forward ever-so-slightly to kiss mark one more time. when he pulls away, his smile is so wide that his eyes are crinkled up like jeno’s. “yes, holy shit,” he says, leaning in again, and mark finds that, though his muscles ache from standing, he couldn’t feel more comfortable than when he’s kissing donghyuck.

 

* * *

 

 

 _mark:_ hey renjun

 

 _injun:_ yeah

 

 _mark:_ you were right

 

 _donghyuck:_ SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

 _mark:_ hes a really good kisser

 

 _injun:_ RIGHT? LIKE WHY

 

 _mark:_ Pretty boys kiss good!

 

 _injun:_ firstly

 

 _injun:_ it’s well***

 

 _injun:_ secondly

 

 _injun:_ im ugly and yet i kiss well? the conspiracy deepens

 

 _jeno:_ renjun shut the hell up you’re literally one of the prettiest boys i’ve ever seen

 

 _mark:_ oh he’s real bold your honor!

 

 _jeno:_ Mark shut up challenge!!!

 

 _mark:_ not till u break up with eunji!

 

 _jeno:_ INALREADY DID FUCK U

 

 _lele:_ you WHAT

 

 _jisung:_ so let me get this straight

 

 _jisung:_ donghyuck got sad last night and got drunk and accidentally confessed to mark

 

 _jisung:_ jeno comforted mark (who was sad) last night and apparently rekindled their friendship

 

 _jisung:_ donghyuck and renjun were fake dating and broke up this morning

 

 _jisung:_ this was immediately followed by mark going to donghyuck’s house and kissing him

 

 _jisung:_ somewhere in the middle of all this jeno broke up with his yearlong girlfriend

 

 _jisung:_ am i forgetting anything

 

 _jeno:_ nope

 

 _mark:_ oh hyuck and i are dating now

 

 _lele:_ OH MY GOD FUCKING GINALLY

 

 _nana:_ FUCJ YES

 

 _nana:_ PROUD OF U

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark is my boooooyfriend

 

 _mark:_ oh my god shut up ur making me feel valid i don’t like it

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH?

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between donghyuck and mark!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ u r the prettiest boy

 

 _donghyuck:_ male

 

 _donghyuck:_ boy

 

 _donghyuck:_ and i love u

 

 _donghyuck:_ my handsome boyfriend

 

 _mark:_ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

 

 _donghyuck:_ you think i cant see you smiling? you’re LITERALLY cuddling the hell out of me i can see u being an embarrassed loser

 

 _donghyuck:_ but it’s cute

 

 _donghyuck:_ ur cute

 

 _donghyuck:_ i guess

 

 _mark:_ are you aware that i do not like you? in fact i hate you. this relationship is an elaborate scheme to take your money and use it for my tuition

 

 _donghyuck:_ Do i care? no

 

 _donghyuck:_ now get closer and kiss me idiot

 

 _mark:_ will do

 

 _mark:_ (various heart emojis)

 

 _donghyuck:_ why would u type that. you could just type the actual emojis instead of saying that you’re sending heart emojis. do you realize this

 

 _mark:_ (sad emojis)

 

 _donghyuck:_ you’re so fucking weird. i love you

 

 _mark:_ tthat’s gay…

 

 _donghyuck:_ then so be it! kiss me

 

 _mark:_ fine. but don’t expect me to like it

 

 _mark:_ (That was a Joke. I Will)

 

 _donghyuck:_ WILL U PLEASE FOr the LOVE OF GOD KISS ME.

 

**_mark has gone offline!_ **

 

**_donghyuck has gone offline!_ **

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE DUMBASSES ARE FINALLY TOGETHER! IT'S ABOUT TIME
> 
> Will jisung ever get a boyfriend to shout "JISUNG" menacingly at him? read to find out 
> 
> rip renhyuck. they lasted a day but they did damn good. maybe one day renjun will get an actual boyfriend, but Today Is Not That Day. can we get an f in the chat
> 
> as always stay safe drink water and remember that ilu!!! 
> 
> -daniel 111718


	11. (taeil voice) you two are gay!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung: nnnnnnnnshut UP
> 
> lele: do you think i know how to do that? buddy if i could, I Would

_ donghyuck:  _ lol i was so emotionally distressed for the three days of mark sadness that i forgot we have that dance performance for homecoming today

 

_ lele: _ my flight just got in hi babies im back

 

_ jisung:  _ what FUCKING terminal are you at

 

_ injun: _ SHIT THE PERFORMANCE IS TODAY?

 

_ lele:  _ JISUNG YOU CAME TO GET ME?

 

_ jisung:  _ CORRECTION I MADE MARK HAUL MY ASS HERE AND HE’S ABUOT TO LEAVE WHERE ARE YOU

 

_ lele:  _ IM IN THE FUCKING LOBBY

 

_ jisung:  _ I SEE U

 

_ lele:  _ WHERE ARE YOU

 

_ jisung:  _ STAY THERE

 

_ mark:  _ livetweeting their reunion because i see jisung but chenle doesnt

 

_ donghyuck:  _ babe it’s not livetweeting you’re in a groupchat

 

_ mark:  _ if you call me babe again i’m leaving jisung here and i’m going to drive through your ufcking chemistry class’s wall and sucker punch you

 

_ donghyuck:  _ :(

 

_ mark:  _ with my mouth

 

_ donghyuck:  _ :)

 

_ injun:  _ DISGUSTING.

 

_ mark:  _ anyways! the gays

 

_ mark:  _ jisung is running chenle still doesn’t see him

 

_ mark:  _ that’s partly because i put sunglasses on him

 

_ mark:  _ not sorry 

 

_ mark:  _ oh jisung is like five seconds away

 

_ mark:  _ HE JUST UCKING JUMPED ONTO CHENLES BACK AND CHENLE LET OUT THIS TERRIBLE SCREECH AND DROPPED TO THE FLORO I CANT BREATHE

 

_ mark:  _ HE FUCKING CROCODILE DEATH ROLLED TO GET JISUNG OFF HIM

 

_ mark:  _ I THINK JISUNG HAS A CONCUSSION

 

_ mark:  _ OH MY GOD HIS FUCKIMG NOSE IS BLEEDING

 

_ injun:  _ chenle i’m going to rip your nostrils out

 

_ nana:  _ but maybe… we could….. just….. Not do that

 

_ injun:  _ it’s what he deserves

 

_ injun: _ an eye for an eye… a nose for a nose

 

_ jeno: _ hyuck i could talk to the principal and see if she’ll let us all get out of class to practice all day

 

_ donghyuck:  _ that would literally be the sexiest thing you’ve ever said or will say please do that

 

_ jeno:  _ k

 

_ donghyuck:  _ go mr student body president!!!

 

_ mark:  _ jeno stole my job wow…

 

_ jeno:  _ sorry i love u

 

_ mark:  _ jeno i am literally in love with you….

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WOW…

 

_ jeno:  _ mark its u it has always been u… it could only b u….

 

_ mark:  _ bro………..

 

_ jeno:  _ bro………….

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m going to kick you BOTH from the chat

 

 

 _jisung:_ my nose: bleeding

 

 _lele:_ my heart: full

 

 _jisung:_ [I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM MARK'S PRIUS]

 

_ mark:  _ while im stopped at a red light i need to let you know chenle is just. sprawled on top of jisung

 

_ mark:  _ personal space? in chenle’s vocabulary? it’s less likely than you think

 

_ lele: _  it's free real estate

 

_ lele:  _ bold of you to assume jisung cares i know he missed me and doesn’t know how to express it so i’m doing it for him

 

_ jisung:  _ hgnjshdfjnhs nnnnn

 

_ jisung:  _ nnnnnnnnshut UP

 

_ lele: _  do you think i know how to do that? buddy if i could, I Would

 

_ nana:  _ that is singlehandedly the most heartwarming thing i’ve heard all day thank u chenle

 

_ nana:  _ hey are you coming to school to practice with us!!! i haven’t met you yet and i’d like to

 

_ lele:  _ yeah i’ll be at school!! 

 

_ jeno:  _ good news lads! i talked the principal into letting us get out of class

 

_ donghyuck:  _ SWEET

 

_ donghyuck:  _ so what do we do

 

_ jeno:  _ as soon as the bell for the end of first period rings just go to our practice room in the gym and we can stay there until the homecoming assembly

 

_ donghyuck:  _ perfect someone entertain me until first period is over

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jaemin entertain me

 

_ nana:  _ no im in calc

 

_ donghyuck:  _ FINE

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jeno

 

_ jeno:  _ no i have class

 

_ injun:  _ dont even ask jaemin’s taking my phone so that i can’t be distracted

 

_ injun:  _ little does he know i have chenles second phone with me

 

_ lele:  _ it’s me! renjun!

 

_ lele:  _ LOG OUT OF MY ACCOUNT AND LOG INTO YOUR OWN

 

_ injun:  _ FINE.

 

_ injun:  _ hi this is jaemin i took renjun’s stolen phone

 

_ injun:  _ this is the end i’ll see you at practice hyuck

 

_ donghyuck: _ jisungs not even at school

 

_ donghyuck:  _ neither is chenle

 

_ donghyuck:  _ mark is driving

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i have fifteen minutes to kill

 

_ donghyuck:  _ and nothing. to. do

 

_ donghyuck:  _ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bored

 

_ donghyuck has changed their name to hyuck! _

 

_ hyuck:  _ WOAH YOU CAN CHANGE SCREEN NAMES

 

_ hyuck has changed nana’s name to jaemin! _

 

_ hyuck has changed injun’s name to renjun _

 

_ hyuck has changed lele’s name to chenle! _

 

_ hyuck:  _ the nicknames were bothering me

 

_ hyuck:  _ but my name is a nickname now….

 

_ hyuck:  _ oh NO

 

_ chenle:  _ you’re so needy

 

_ chenle has changed their name to lele! _

 

_ lele:  _ change it again and you die

 

_ lele:  _ we’re pulling into the school now mark’s gonna drop us off

 

_ hyuck:  _ which one of you fuckers called into the office and told them i need to report to the admissions booth

 

_ hyuck:  _ shut up chenle i can hear you laughing in the hallways where are you

 

_ lele:  _ you’ll never find me huehuehue

 

_ jisung:  _ i stuffed him into a locker while we wait for the bell to ring

 

_ hyuck:  _ mark shut UP :(((((

 

_ mark:  _ :]

 

_ lele:  _ what

 

_ hyuck:  _ he left me fucking flowers in the admissions office >:((((

 

_ jisung:  _ that’s cute

 

_ hyuck:  _ okay everyone just meet up at our practice place i guess nd then we’ll practice or whatever

 

_ hyuck:  _ i’m gonna head in early to set up so i’ll see you once the bell rings

 

_ hyuck:  _ oh my god this place is a MESSHDNFJSNHJKGDNHFKJSKDGHKDSNHFMARK

 

_ lele:  _ MARK?

 

_ hyuck:   _ jesus FUCK he hid in the practice room and waited 

 

_ lele:  _ i’m coming in there too i wanna jump on injun when he comes in

 

_ lele:  _ and he won’t know i’m here yet because jaemin has his phone hehe

 

_ jeno:  _ devastating news lads

 

_ hyuck:  _ yes

 

_ jeno:  _ i have to help decorate the gym for hoco so i can’t practice with you guys until after lunch

 

_ hyuck:  _ f

 

_ lele:  _ i’ll livetweet the experience for you

 

_ hyuck:  _ CAN WE STOP. CALLING. IT. LIVETWEETING.

 

_ lele:  _ nope! :)

 

_ hyuck:  _ oh the bell rang time to have 6 tired teenage boys in a tiny room hitting each other

 

_ jeno:  _ tell me how renjun reacts 2 chenle and mark being there

 

_ jeno:  _ AND JAEMIN TOO

 

_ hyuck:  _ injun walked in saw chenle dropped his bag and fucking charged him

 

_ hyuck:  _ chenle is now sitting on his shoulders

 

_ lele:  _ as i should be

 

_ hyuck:  _ he then turned saw mark yeeted chenle off his shoulders and jumped into mark’s arms screaming “MAAAAAAAAARK FUUCKING LEEEEE I MISSED UUUUU”

 

_ hyuck:  _ valid valid

 

_ hyuck:  _ jaemin is introducing himself to chenle and as usual hes awkward

 

_ hyuck:  _ chenle just fucking slapped his handshake and bear hugged him

 

_ hyuck:  _ MARK DID THE SAME JAEMIN IS NOW BEING BEAR HUGGED BY BOTH

 

_ hyuck:  _ I REPORT JAEMIN IS NOW BEING BEAR HUGGED BY ALL OF US AND I DON’T KNOW WHY

 

_ jaemin:  _ FUYCKIGN HFEKLOP; ME

 

_ jeno:  _ suffer

 

_ jaemin:  _ WHY.

 

_ jeno:  _ that’s what you get for always using my legs as a footstool in class

 

_ jaemin:  _ JENO HELPMENGSNDNS

 

-

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ hey i know you’re about to go on and i know you’re really nervous but i’m right here in the audience and i know you’re gonna be great

 

_ donghyuck:  _ thanks :(((

 

_ donghyuck:  _ we don’t go on for another few minutes bc the principal is introducing us

 

_ mark:  _ she’s totally delivering the speech wrong where is the HYPE

 

_ donghyuck:  _ hgjsdhf shut up

 

_ mark:  _ i should have tears streaming down my face right now just at the THOUGHT of this prestigious high school’s dance team performing for me

 

_ mark:  _ So Why Are My Eyes Dry

 

_ donghyuck:  _ shut UP

 

_ donghyuck:  _ look idiot we’re going on now

 

_ mark:  _ good luck i love u!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ and remember that everythings gonna b fine and we’re gonna have china day at chenle’s house after this so!!! even if you do monumentally fail (which you won’t) at least you have some delicious food to look forward to

_ mark:  _ but really good luck i love u

 

_ donghyuck:  _ *you, you BTICH

 

_ donghyuck:  _ but i love you too

 

_ donghyuck:  _ MWAH

 

**_donghyuck has logged off!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ oh no ur gonna blow me a kiss while ur up there arent u

 

_ mark:  _ HYUCK NO

 

**_mark has logged off!_ **

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told myself i was gonna update twice over my thanksgiving break but Look What Happened There, Lads. anyways guess who is in LVOE with chenle? its me ya
> 
> based off recent events which pairing do u think will get together sooner... i enjoyed the comments about mark being oblivious so i might do something along those lines with the next pairing because i like watching you all Suffer from Secondhand Embarrassment
> 
> please stay safe drink water and remember that i love you!!!
> 
> -daniel 112518


	12. this shit got me in my jeelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin: you give a disability you get a disability

_ jeno:  _ lads

 

_ jeno:  _ our performance was fucking sick

 

_ mark:  _ i agree there was only one part i didnt like

 

_ renjun:  _ what part >:((

 

_ mark:  _ when hyuck stopped the first time he was center and blew me a phat kiss

 

_ renjun: _ oh it was planned for him to blow someone in the audience a kiss already that was his moment

 

_ renjun:  _ so it wasn’t random hyuck’s just really really gay

 

_ hyuck:  _ lads…. bad thing

 

_ mark:  _ yes?

 

_ hyuck:  _ can’t hear

 

_ mark:  _ NO

 

_ jaemin:  _ hyucks just being a whiney baby he’s fine

 

_ jaemin:  _ he kicked me in the back (like the bad part that always hurts) so i stole his hearing aids

 

_ jeno:  _ JAEMINGHJDSNH

 

_ jaemin:  _ you give a disability you get a disability

 

_ renjun:  _ THAT’S IT! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY I’M GOING TO HELP CHENLE COOK

 

_ lele:  _ jisung is here keep that in mind

 

_ renjun:  _ nvm im going to nap before we have The Celebration

 

_ hyuck:  _ OH WAIT ITS CHINA DAY I FORGOT

 

_ lele:  _ jisung just poured half a bottle of rice wine in his mouth

 

_ lele:  _ no one eat the chow mein

 

_ renjun:  _ bold of you to assume that’ll stop me i’ve had the devil’s tongue down my throat

 

_ hyuck:  _ my tongue is delightful. fuck you

 

_ renjun:  _ Bye! :***

 

_ jisung:  _ what are the :***s

 

_ jaemin:  _ theyre kissy faces

 

_ jaemin:  _ the asterisks kind of look like puckered lips

 

_ mark:  _ chenle what time do you want us to come over

 

_ lele:  _ when i say so, fool

 

_ mark:  _ What Time Do I Need To Get Ready

 

_ lele:  _ what do you mean get ready you were already ready at school today

 

_ mark:  _ ????? i need to put on makeup

 

_ lele:  _ YOU WEAR MAKEUP?

 

_ mark:  _ yeah?????? 

 

_ mark:  _ have you not noticed

 

_ mark:  _ i’ve been wearing makeup ever since i graduated

 

_ renjun:  _ is that an i-wanted-a-new-look thing or an i-realized-i-like-donghyuck-so-now-i-have-to-look-good-for-him thing

 

_ mark:  _ donghyuck thing

 

_ hyuck:  _ that’s really gay

 

_ hyuck:  _ i didnt even notice i just think u look pretty all the time

 

_ mark:  _ You Will Shut Up Now

 

_ lele:  _ [SLAP! CRACK!] You Will Speak When Spoken To

 

_ mark:  _ chenle i cant fuckging breathe YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO

 

_ lele:  _ Come hither, Youngone… the Harvest is coming

 

_ mark:  _ chenle i love you but stop being so needlessly ominous every time we talk

 

_ lele:  _ no fuck you

 

_ lele:  _ come over in about two hours the food’s almost ready

 

_ mark:  _ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ see now was that so hard

 

_ lele:  _ no but you should know i’m stubborn and will not do something if you tell me to

 

_ lele:  _ only jisung can make me do things you’re lucky he loves you enough to make me announce the Official Gathering Time

 

_ renjun:  _ wow thats uh

 

_ renjun:  _ gay

 

_ jaemin:  _ hyuck where r u

 

_ hyuck:  _ Here bitch!!!

 

_ jaemin:  _ good i thought you died

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between jaemin and hyuck!_ **

 

_ jaemin:  _ Hlelp,, me 

 

_ hyuck:  _ yes

 

_ jaemin:  _ i love him so m uch :(((

 

_ hyuck:  _ who the FUCK

 

_ jaemin:  _ JISUNG HES BABY

 

_ hyuck:  _ ah yea

 

_ hyuck:  _ he does that to u

 

_ jaemin:  _ I DONT MEAN ROMANTICALLY LIKE. I WANT TO BE HIS OLDER BROTHER RIGHT NOW

 

_ jaemin:  _ AFTER THE SHOW HE CAME UP NEXT TO ME GAVE ME A LITTLE HUG AND SAID “IM REALLY GLAD YOU’RE HERE WITH US JAEMIN” AND WALKED OFF REALLY QUICKLY

 

_ jaemin:  _ I’M IM MY JEELINGS

 

_ jaemin:  _ (MY JISUNG FEELINGS)

 

_ hyuck:  _ jisung only does affection during really really sentimental moments alright

 

_ hyuck:  _ in the span of like a week your ignorant ass has made him like you more than he likes me 

 

_ hyuck:  _ which is. impressive

 

_ hyuck:  _ you’re fitting in really nicely here and i’m proud of you for talking to everyone

 

_ jaemin:  _ stop it im in my heelies

 

_ jaemin:  _ (my hyuck feelies)

 

_ hyuck:  _ okay! friendship over

 

* * *

 

_ jeno:  _ and That is why you respect the goddamn bees you fools

 

_ hyuck:  _ bees deserve no respect. they deserve my foot

 

_ jaemin:  _ NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**_renjun has kicked hyuck from the chat!_ **

 

_ renjun:  _ putrid little man. evil

 

_ lele:  _ renjun please someone knocked on the door and i thought it was you to help me cook but i went to the door and it’s just hyuck with his face pressed up against the glass

 

_ mark:  _ yeah he does that

 

_ lele:  _ make him STOP

 

_ mark:  _ you have to add him back to the group chat i guess

 

_ lele:  _ nope

 

_ lele:  _ this is a donghyuck-free zone for the rest of the night

 

_ jeno:  _ are you talking about this chat or your house

 

_ lele:  _ both. donghyuck is officially uninvited from china day

 

_ mark:  _ WHY

 

_ lele:  _ treacherous comments against the honeybee community

 

_ mark:  _ this is sweat bee erasure

 

_ jeno:  _ and carpenter bee erasure

 

_ lele:  _ Don’t tell me what bees to include, you frugal sons of bitches

 

_ mark:  _ yyes sir am i still invited to china day sir

 

_ lele:  _ yeah but you’re on thin fucking ice lee

 

_ lele:  _ that goes for you too lee

 

_ jeno:  _ hcenle thats not initimidating

 

_ lele:  _ (WHACK) you will speak when spoken to

 

_ renjun:  _ i’ve said it before. and i’ll say it again. chenle. you’re. an. idiot.

 

_ lele:  _ love u too gege <3

 

**_renjun has kicked lele from the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ WHAT WAS THAT FOR

 

_ renjun:  _ he was getting too chummy with me. somebody had to do it 

 

_ jeno:  _ you know he had to do it to em

 

**_renjun has kicked jeno from the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ PLEASE

 

_ renjun:  _ NO.

 

_ mark:  _ Then suffer for your insolence. Fool that you are, do you think you can best me in my own realm? where i am the strongest? you fool. you absolute fucking buffoon. you imbecile. you neanderthal. you TROGLODYTE.

 

**_mark has kicked renjun from the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ at last. peace

 

_ jaemin:  _ i’m still here

 

_ jisung:  _ me too

 

_ mark:  _ yeah but you two are only wild when chenle or hyuck is with you and neither of them are here

 

_ mark:  _ welcome to the relaxation chat

 

_ jisung: _ that’s boring i’m out

 

**_jisung has left the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ well jaemin it looks like it’s just you and me

 

_ jaemin:  _ yea about that

 

**_jaemin has left the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ FUCK YOU

 

_ mark:  _ I’M GONNA GO TAKE A NAP 

 

_ mark:  _ i’m talking to myself

 

_ mark:  _ wheres hyuck i drove by chenles house but hes not there and i wanna nap w him :((

 

_ mark:  _ OH HES :(((( ALREADY IN HIS BED SHUT UP HE LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN HES ASLEEP IM GONNA /CRY/

 

_ mark:  _ watch me not wake up early to put makeup on and just stay in bed with hyuck for as long as possible

 

_ mark:  _ my god hes the prettiest

 

_ mark:  _ i need to stop ranting about him to myself and actually go nap with him

 

_ mark:  _ future me if u check this chat go kiss hyuck hes your bf you lucky son of a bitch

 

_ mark:  _ nd hang in there im sure the dysph*ria will get better soon and that you’ll figure out your major or whatever eventually

 

_ mark:  _ now GOODNIGHT myself

 

_ mark:  _ good afternoon??? it’s like 4pm

 

_ mark:  _ good sleep

 

**_mark has logged off!_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA i havent updated in a while but. ur boy is back with this.... this...... this steaming pile of hot garbage
> 
> i've been hyperfocusing on a new thing that i'm writing that should be out early next year it's a yuten (yuta and ten) that has a somewhat not-cliche plot (By The Way If You're Looking For Things To Read You Should Read My [Dojae Standalone Hahaha](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16367345)) and that's why i haven't updated in a bit but i realized how irresponsible that is and I'm Back Now, Babey! 
> 
> as always stay safe drink water and remember that i love you!!
> 
> -daniel 121218


	13. li shang is bisexual and i will accept no counterarguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin: no i’m curious what’s my second name
> 
> hyuck: Bitch

_ lele:  _ okay i’m happy to have all of you at my house or whatever but where are markhyuck

 

_ renjun:  _ oh so they’re one whole entity now?

 

_ lele:  _ yea

 

_ lele:  _ its just wrong for them not to be

 

_ hyuck:  _ MARK OVERSLEPT

 

_ mark:  _ I DID /NOT!/ MR ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED

 

_ lele:  _ EXPLAIN.

 

_ mark:  _ I WOKE UP ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE SO I WOKE HYUCK UP AND WENT TO PUT ON MY MAKEUP BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA LOOK UGLY AND WHAT DOES THIS BASTARD DO?

 

_ hyuck:  _ NONE OF THE ABOVE

 

_ mark:  _ FALSE. HE THREW MY EYE BRUSH ACROSS THE ROOM BECAUSE HES NEEDY

 

_ hyuck:  _ IT’S PRONOUNCED “TOUCH-STARVED”

 

_ mark:  _ SO I HAD TO U KNOW. KITH HIM BECAUSE HES NEEDY AND HE TOOK MY PHONE SO I WOULDNT SEE THAT WE WERE LATE AND BY THE TIME I GOT IT BACK (TWO MINUTES AGO) WE WERE AN HOUR LATE

 

_ mark:  _ IM SORRY

 

_ mark:  _ YOU KNOW I’M ALWAYS ON TIME CHENLE

 

_ lele:  _ DO I? DO I, TRAITOR?

 

_ jeno: _ I, PERSONALLY, VOUCH FOR MARK AS HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

 

_ mark:  _ JENO THAT’S GAY

 

_ jeno:  _ MARK YOU’RE LITERALLY GAY

 

_ mark:  _ /PLEASE/ DON’T MAKE ME HAVE A SEXUALITY CRISIS JUST LET ME DATE MY BOY IN PEACE

 

_ jeno: _ BUT YOU’RE A B

 

_ renjun:  _ do you hear that?

 

_ renjun:  _ it’s peace

 

_ renjun: _ because all of you are going to be quiet

 

_ renjun: _ and jaemin is going to stop hogging the bathroom i need to take a leak

 

_ renjun:  _ serene emoji serene emoji serene emoji

 

_ jaemin: _ sorry my water broke

 

_ jisung:  _ YOUR WATER BROKEJGKSHFKJSHKJH

 

_ renjun:  _ fetus deletus then i need to PISS

 

_ jisung:  _ STOP IT IMS WHEEZING

 

_ renjun: _ yes i can tell you’re sitting across from me

 

_ renjun:  _ this is the most human emotion you’ve ever expressed in front of me

 

_ jisung:  _ I have screenshots of you saying you love me

 

_ renjun:  _ because i d*

 

_ jisung:  _ you d*?

 

_ jisung:  _ say it coward 

 

_ renjun: _ because i do 

 

_ renjun:  _ we all do dumbass

 

_ renjun:  _ you’re like our little brother

 

_ jaemin:  _ i have known you for like a week but i’d die for you jisung

 

_ jisung:  _ You will

 

_ jeno:  _ sungie hes right ur like our little brother

 

_ hyuck:  _ marks driving but yes he agrees and so do i

 

_ renjun:  _ chenle respond

 

_ lele:  _ yeahh you’re like a little bro ther <333

 

_ renjun:  _ hey thats chenle speak for “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EMOTE” someone should go hug him

 

_ jisung:  _ you’re literally available

 

_ renjun:  _ i cant im waiting on jaemin to let me pee so he can have rights

 

_ renjun:  _ also i’m worried that if i touch chenle at all he’ll fall in love with me i have that effect on chinese people

 

_ mark:  _ and jeno

 

_ jeno:  _ SHUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUCK UUUUUUUUUP

 

_ jeno:  _ GO CRASH YOUR CAR OR SOMETHING BABYTEETH

 

_ hyuck:  _ jeno i love you but kindly refrain from telling my stubborn boyfriend to crash his car while i am inside of it

 

_ hyuck:  _ i value my life

 

_ hyuck:  _ nvm i dont mark can floor it

 

_ jaemin:  _ k who’s cuddling hyuck first when he gets here because that behavior is not tolerated here

 

_ hyuck:  _ if you touch me i’ll eat your fingers

 

_ jaemin:  _ of all the threats you’ve ever presented to me that has to be the weakest

 

_ lele:  _ what’s the worst…

 

_ jaemin: _ probably “i’ll remove your spinal discs” 

 

_ renjun:  _ DONGHYUCK HE IS A /CRIPPLE/

 

_ lele:  _ DON’T CALL HIM A CRIPPLE THAT’S INSENSITIVE

 

_ jaemin:  _ ITS OK I TOLD HIM HE COULD

 

_ renjun: _ HE IS AND YOU KNOW IT I HAD TO HELP HIM OFF THE COUCH AND THEN HE STOOD THERE FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS TRYING TO TWIST HIS BACK SO HE COULD POP IT

 

_ jaemin:  _ i would probably benefit from a cane

 

_ hyuck:  _ its ok renjun that’s the least effective insult in my book

 

_ lele:  _ once again what is the worst

 

_ hyuck:  _ sometimes to get his attention i’ll shout “hey SPINELESS”

 

_ renjun:  _ DONGHYUCK

 

_ hyuck:  _ he’ll look at me when i do it… i think he accepts it as a third name

 

_ lele:  _ donghyuck he has one name

 

_ jaemin:  _ no i’m curious what’s my second name

 

_ hyuck:  _ Bitch

 

_ jaemin:  _ okay yeah in hindsight i kind of walked right into that one

 

_ jaemin:  _ anyways mark drive faster challenge

 

_ hyuck:  _ funny u should say that because he just pulled in 

 

_ lele:  _ ARE YOU TELLING ME I CAN SERVE THIS FOOD NOW?

 

_ renjun:  _ NO WAIT I NEED TO PEE AND I JUST MANAGED TO PICK THE BATHROOM LOCK

 

_ lele:  _ TOO BAD YOU SHOULDVE GONE EARLIER

 

_ renjun:  _ /I DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THEN/

 

_ hyuck:  _ jaemin what were you doing in there

 

_ jaemin:  _ dissociating

 

_ hyuck:  _ hey first of all, MOOD,

 

_ mark:  _ CHENLE UNLOCK THE FRONT DOOR I WANT DUCK

 

_ lele:  _ THIS IS YOUR PENANCE. YOU WERE LATE AND NOW YOU GET TABLE SCRAPS

 

_ mark:  _ HYUCK GO

 

_ jaemin:  _ i heard a thump upstairs so i can only assume hyuck climbed into some window

 

_ lele:  _ yeah he does that

 

_ lele:  _ which is why i’ve barricaded him in the bedroom

 

_ hyuck:  _ YOU GREATLY UNDERESTIMATE MY STRENGTH

 

_ hyuck:  _ okay you estimated my strength well jaem please come get me out

 

_ jaemin: _ dude i’ll break my back

 

_ hyuck:  _ for ME

 

_ jeno:  _ i’m coming ://///////////

 

_ mark:  _ jeno i have always loved you

 

_ hyuck:  _ WOW

 

_ jaemin: _ hyuck i’ll get you a plate

 

_ jaemin:  _ in exchange for goods

 

_ hyuck:  _ i am FREE

 

_ mark:  _ OKAY NOW LET ME IN

 

_ mark:  _ IM AT THE FRONT DOOR

 

_ hyuck:  _ jaemin what do you want from me

 

_ jaemin:  _ how about a nice warm hug

 

_ hyuck:  _ how about a mean cold slap :)

 

_ mark:  _ DONT SLAP HIm

 

_ hyuck:  _ i didnt i slapped him then hugged him and now im coming to get u

 

_ lele:  _ fools. jisung has already taken the last of the duck

 

_ mark:  _ NO

 

_ jisung:  _ actually i had it on my plate because i was saving it for mark hyung

 

_ renjun:  _ 1) you never use honorifics why you text what is WRONG with you today 2) don’t call mark “hyung” it implies he deserves respect

 

_ jeno:  _ oh are we taking away mark’s rights? i’m here for it

 

_ mark:  _ 1) jisung you’re an angel and i love you my SON 2) i am the most deserving of respect you brats

 

_ lele:  _ i refuse to accept this. however i want to eat so i’m letting you in

 

_ lele:  _ let’s eat and then watch mulan and go to sleep

 

_ jisung:  _ WHAT NO YOU SAID WE WERE GONNA WATCH SONG OF THE ASSASSINS BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT IT WHILE YOU WERE GONE

 

_ renjun:  _ he…. can speak in all-caps?

 

_ jeno:  _ this is the most upset ive ever seen him hes devastated chenle

 

_ lele:  _ JAEMIN ISN’T AS INVESTED IN CHINESE DRAMAS AS WE ARE JISUNG WE HAVE TO WAIT A BIT

 

_ jisung:  _ BUT. THE ASSASSINS

 

_ lele:  _ I’LL WATCH IT WITH YOU OKAY

 

_ jisung:  _ . FINE

 

_ lele:  _ as i was SAYING

 

_ lele:  _ we eat

 

_ lele:  _ we watch mulan

 

_ lele:  _ we sleep

 

_ renjun:  _ li shang is bisexual!

 

_ jeno:  _ on what grounds

 

_ renjun:  _ he’s my boyfriend

 

_ jeno:  _ extremely valid and lawful carry on 

 

_ mark:  _ fa mulan is trans (serene emoji serene emoji serene emoji)

 

_ hyuck:  _ what a power couple

 

_ lele:  _ let the record show that he just verbally compared himself and mark to shang and mulan. disgusting

 

_ lele:  _ if i weren’t so hungry i would refuse to eat

 

_ mark:  _ MY DUCK. WHERE ISIT

 

_ jisung:  _ its in the dining room you big baby come eat with us

 

_ mark:  _ ur the bestest <33

 

-

 

**_private chat between jisung and mark!_ **

 

_ jisung:  _ are you awake 

 

_ mark:  _ duh it’s mulan 

__

_ mark:  _ why don't you just talk to me out loud like a normal person

 

_ jisung:  _ because chenle’s asleep on my shoulder and i dont wanna wake him up

 

_ mark:  _ fair

 

_ mark:  _ so then  why’re you up texting me instead of sleep-cuddling with him

 

_ jisung:  _ i cant stop thinking so i cant sleep ://

 

_ jisung:  _ taeyong taught me this breathing trick to help me sleep but i forgot it and he’s probably studying so i don’t want to bother him

 

_ mark:  _ you’re his brother

 

_ mark: _ it’s in your job description to annoy him

 

_ jisung:  _ whatever i just don’t wanna bother him

 

_ jisung:  _ but. you know that thing we talked about in your dorm

 

_ mark:  _ you know no one’s reading your texts right you can say it

 

_ jisung:  _ you know that dumb emotional stuff we talked about in your dorm

 

_ mark:  _ almost there i believe in you

 

_ jisung:  _ do i have to

 

_ mark:  _ yea

 

_ jisung:  _ you know those feelings we talked about in your dorm

 

_ mark:  _ feelings for who! you can do it!

 

_ jisung:  _ you know those feelings i had for chenle that we talked about in your dorm

 

_ mark:  _ :D

 

_ mark:  _ yes

 

_ mark:  _ what about them

 

_ jisung:  _ i dont KNOW

 

_ mark:  _ emotional constipation is a bitch

 

_ jisung:  _ it’s just. my heart. hurts it’s weird

 

_ mark:  _ i think that may be a better sign of hypertension than romance

 

_ jisung:  _ NO LIKE

 

_ jisung:  _ today in the car. remember how he was all over me because he knew i missed him but couldn’t verbally or physically express it

 

_ jisung:  _ yeah i ate that shit up my heart hurt so so bad he was so sweet and he’s so gentle and understanding and he doesn’t need to be because i’m just me and he’s chenle but. he IS and it means the world

 

_ jisung:  _ okay that was too much emotion

 

_ mark:  _ no no this is good! go on

 

_ jisung:  _ do i gotta

 

_ mark:  _ ye

 

_ jisung: _ hngh

 

_ jisung:  _ i should stop talking about him before this gets out of hand

 

_ jisung:  _ there’s no way he’d want to d*te me

 

_ mark:  _ i beg to differ

 

_ jisung:  _ mark i have next to no emotional intelligence i can’t speak or be touched half the time and the only way i’m able to understand my emotions with clarity is through dance

 

_ jisung:  _ so yeah i’m definitely a real catch

 

_ mark:  _ “i can’t speak or be touched half the time” that doesn’t apply to chenle apparently

 

_ mark:  _ every time i’ve ever seen you nonverbal chenle has snapped you out of it

 

_ mark:  _ and every single time i’ve ever seen you touch-avoidant all chenle has had to do was hold your hand and you were fine

 

_ mark:  _ it takes a while but chenle somehow fixes all the things that you don’t like

 

_ mark:  _ remember when you didn’t like that you were the only freshman in your gym class and how you felt self-conscious and alone? and remember how as soon as chenle found out he switched his schedule and took himself out of one of the classes he needs to graduate to retake gym so that you wouldn’t be alone?

 

_ mark:  _ chenle would do anything for you jisung and even if he doesn’t like you back he still won’t care if you like him so long as you’re honest

 

_ mark:  _ he loves you so much and take that whatever way you will

 

_ mark:  _ but he cares about you a lot and all he wants is for you to be happy

 

_ jisung:  _ i’ve gotta go he shifted and woke up and i don’t want him to read this

 

_ jisung:  _ night

 

_ mark: _ ://

 

_ mark:  _ night sungie sleep well

 

-

 

**_private chat between lele and renjun!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ ge

 

_ renjun:  _ what do you want

 

_ lele:  _ mean

 

_ lele: _ remember how you told me reading people’s texts over their shoulder would end badly one day

 

_ renjun:  _ vaguely

 

_ lele:  _ well honey

 

_ lele:  _ uve got a big storm comin

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG HHHHH HAVE AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER TO MAKE UP FOR IT
> 
> and happy 2019 <3 mark left dream but china line (my BOYS) are finally debuting so. it be like that huh
> 
> jisung? expressing emotion? it's more likely than you think
> 
> there was something important i wanted to put in the notes of this but i forgot what it was so. WAIT NO I REMEMBER NOW
> 
> I HAVE A [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/qiansluv) NOW 
> 
> stay safe drink water and remember that ilu!! happy new year!!
> 
> -daniel 010119


	14. me vs coming up with coherent chapter titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun: jeno is a product of nature and cannot be controlled by man. he speaks freely without consequence because all men fear him

_renjun:_ good morning everyone who wants to get jaemin off of me

 

 _renjun:_ mark respond i know you’re awake i can see you checking this text

 

 _renjun:_ MARK

 

 _renjun:_ GET HIM OFF ME HES /SNORING/

 

 _mark:_ oh shut up i know you’re touch-starved

 

 _renjun:_ alright, first of all, literally DIE,

 

 _renjun:_ SECONDLY,

 

 _mark:_ give me back my glasses you KNOW i cant see shit

 

 _mark:_ second of all you KNOW i cant move without waking hyuckie up

 

 _renjun:_ no i dont

 

 _renjun:_ just slap him

 

 _mark:_ sir if i could move him without waking him he would Not be lying where he is right now

 

 _renjun:_ what’s wrong with where he’s lying

 

 _mark:_ titty

 

 _renjun:_ /OH/

 

 _mark:_ plus i need to change out of this damn binder if i don’t want to break all of my ribs simultaneously

 

 _jeno:_ good morning

 

 _jeno:_ ‘m pretty sure that wouldn’t happen

 

 _mark:_ morning asshole

 

 _mark:_ hey can u do me a lorge favor

 

 _jeno:_ can i get a coffee first

 

 _jeno:_ if i’m gonna be lifting hyuck off you then i need to be wide awake so he doesn’t slap me into the seventh dimension

 

 _mark:_ Go. But Be Quick

 

 _renjun:_ what if i just scream really loud and wake him up

 

 _mark:_ please do not do that

 

 _renjun:_ what if we turn his phone’s ringer on so that he gets notifications with sounds and wakes up naturally

 

 _mark:_ because then chenle will wake up and bully me

 

 _renjun:_ why would chenle bully you

 

 _mark:_ He’s chenle

 

 _renjun:_ ….fair point

 

 _jeno:_ mark you’re making me guilty i’ll skip coffee

 

 _jeno:_ for u xo

 

 _mark:_ the Love of my life……………..

 

 _renjun:_ just to be clear. we’re not talking until chenle and jisung wake up because chenles a damn banshee when he first wakes up

 

 _renjun:_ so just text here

 

 _jeno:_ jisung if you read this in the future know that i’ve always thought of you as a little brother. chenle go die. lads i’m going in

 

 _jeno:_ if i don’t text back……. hyuck got me

 

 _renjun:_ HE DIDNT WAKE UP!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT

 

 _mark:_ LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 _mark:_ IM GONNA GO CHANGE ILL B BACK

 

 _renjun:_ AIGHT

 

 _renjun:_ WAIT MARK WHAT DO WE DO WITH HYUCK

 

 _mark:_ LET HIM LIE ON YOU OR SOMETHING HE WONT WAKE UP IF HE HAS SOMEONE TO CLING ONTO

 

 _mark:_ BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES

 

 _renjun:_ MARK NO

 

 _renjun:_ THERE ARE TWO BOYS ON ME /I CANNOT DO THIS/

 

 _renjun:_ MARK

 

 _mark:_. hey renjun

 

 _renjun:_ WHAT DO YOU WANT TRAITOR

 

 _mark:_ can you wake up hyuck for me

 

 _renjun:_ for why

 

 _mark:_ i thought i had my spare clothes in my overnight bag but theyre not and idk what to do

 

 _renjun:_ yeah one sec

 

 _hyuck:_ morning bitches

 

 _mark:_ morning angel

 

 _hyuck:_ oh!! your stuff is in my bag remember? i think i left it in the bathroom for you

 

 _hyuck:_ there should be a sports bra and an oversized hoodie in there somewhere

 

 _mark:_ it’s not in the bathroom ://

 

 _hyuck:_ it’s probably in the other one then, hang tight and i’ll go get it for you

 

 _renjun:_ this is so domestic... need me a freak like that

 

 _hyuck:_ reminder that you had this freak

 

 _renjun:_ yeah for like a DAY

 

 _hyuck:_ aight mark i left the clothes outside the door get changed and then come back and we can cuddle

 

 _renjun:_ i’m gonna vomit you two are gross

 

 _renjun:_ if i EVER have a partner they are required to stay forty feet away from me at any given time

 

 _mark:_ renjun there is a boy sleeping on you

 

 _hyuck:_ get off ur phone and CHANGE im cold :((

 

 _mark:_ i cant i came back online to say im stuck

 

 _jeno:_ in what

 

 _mark:_ take a guess

 

 _jeno:_ OH

 

 _jeno:_ do u need help

 

 _mark:_ Mayb

 

 _hyuck:_ i cant im currently trying to heave jaemin off renjun

 

 _hyuck:_ make jeno do it

 

 _jeno:_ alright

 

 _renjun:_ you know what

 

 _hyuck:_ RENJUN JUST SHOVED JAEMIN INTO THE FLOOR AND HE STILL DIDNT WAKE UP

 

 _jeno:_ WOW VARIETY KING

 

 _mark:_ thats great but HYUCK CAN YOU COME HELP ME

 

 _hyuck:_ YEAH IM COMING

 

 _renjun:_ jeno how does it feel to be rejected by mark

 

 _jeno:_ crunchy

 

 _jaemin:_ good morning. thanks for being ominous jeno

 

 _renjun:_ jeno is a product of nature and cannot be controlled by man. he speaks freely without consequence because all men fear him

 

 _jaemin:_ yeah yeah that’s great and all but have you seen when he smiles and his eyes squish up!!! that’s so cute!!!!!

 

 _jeno:_ bye! you’re both cancelled

 

 _jisung:_ morning

 

 _jisung:_ you assholes woke me up when you pushed jaemin off the couch and now i cant get back to sleep

 

 _jaemin:_ sorry when they what

 

 _renjun:_ oh yeah that happened sorry

 

 _renjun:_ dont swear jisung

 

 _jisung:_ No

 

 _renjun:_ yes sir as you wish sir

 

 _jaemin:_ hey yall wanna build a blanket fort

 

 _jeno:_ ARE YOU KIDDING

 

 _jeno:_ IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION!!!

 

 _renjun:_ ILL GO MAKE BREAKFAST AND THEN WE CAN BUILD A BLANKET FORT THIS IS SO EXCITING

 

 _jisung:_ how am i the youngest

 

 _renjun:_ ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU AREN’T EXCITED TO BUILD A BLANKET FORT. JISUNG. A BLANKET FORT

 

 _jisung:_ i can’t exactly be excited when chenle is snoring in my ear

 

 _renjun:_ okay valid

 

 _renjun:_ hey you know what you should do

 

 _jisung:_ what,,

 

 _renjun:_ wake him up with a kiss

 

 _jisung:_ IM SORRY WHAT

 

 _renjun:_ you heard me

 

 _jisung:_ WAKE HIM UP WITH A WHAT

 

 _hyuck:_ renjun don’t go make breakfast let me nap on you

 

 _renjun:_ why don’t you nap on mark

 

 _hyuck:_ mark said if i nap on him then he won’t want to wake me up

 

 _hyuck:_ which is sad because i like napping on him >://

 

 _jisung:_ why do you like napping on people so much

 

 _jeno:_ specifically mark

 

 _hyuck:_ firstly, it’s comfortable

 

 _hyuck:_ secondly, i’m COLD,

 

 _hyuck:_ and finally

 

 _hyuck:_ world hard and cold

 

 _hyuck:_ mark’s titty soft and warm

 

 _mark:_ mark’s titty is NOT your pillow you cis bitch

 

 _hyuck:_ says WHO

 

 _mark:_ ITS OWNER????

 

 _jeno:_ hold on are we going to skip over the implication that mark only has one titty

 

 _hyuck:_ mark’s gonna have no titty after i beat his ass

 

 _mark:_ are you offering free top surgery

 

 _renjun:_ MARK! THAT IS /NOT/ HOW WE GET TOP SURGERY!

 

 _mark:_ SAYS YOU

 

 _jeno:_ hyuck is jaemin ticklish

 

 _jaemin:_ NO!

 

 _hyuck:_ VERY

 

 _jeno:_ i’m gonna tickle him and see if chenle wakes up

 

 _jaemin:_ maybe consider not doing that

 

 _jisung:_ please do not

 

 _jisung:_ if chenle wakes up he’s gonna demand breakfast and you know it

 

 _jeno:_ exactly. i get food out of this. there are no downsides

 

 _renjun:_ see what i mean? unstoppable force of nature. cursed.

 

 _mark:_ no one tickle anyone and let’s just nap until renjun finishes making breakfast

 

 _renjun:_ you all just woke up how are you ready to go back to sleep

 

 _jeno:_ if you have to ask that question then do you truly know me at all

 

 _renjun:_ ….fair point

 

 _jaemin:_ mark renjun hasn’t even gotten up to make breakfast yet

 

 _jisung:_ a travesty because i’m starving

 

 _renjun:_ why don’t we go out for breakfast today

 

 _jeno:_ dude where would we go

 

_ jisung:  _ there’s an american diner five minutes from here

 

_ renjun:  _ dude you know that place has an entrance to hell in the back room right

 

_ jisung:  _ yeah that’s kind of the point

 

_ mark:  _ i vote the diner

 

_ hyuck:  _ DINER!!!

 

_ jaemin:  _ i dont eat breakfast so do whatever

 

_ jeno:  _ diner or i’m leaving

  
_ renjun:  _ FINE 

 

 _renjun:_ FINE

 

 _renjun:_ someone wake chenle up i’ll go get my damn car started

 

 _mark:_ who said you were driving

 

 _renjun:_ everyone who doesn’t want to get in a wreck

 

 _mark:_ LOW BLOW THAT FENDER BENDER WAS /NOT/ MY FAULT

 

 _renjun:_ too bad! be ready in five

 

 _jaemin:_ i was promised a blanket fort you bastards

 

 _hyuck:_ we'll make a blanket fort when we get back

 

 _jaemin:_ how long are we going to be here i am becoming increasingly worried

 

 _hyuck:_ oh guys look 

 

 _hyuck:_ he thinks he's gonna get to leave china day. how cute :))

 

 _jaemin:_ DONGHYUCK?

 

 _hyuck:_ :))))))))))))))))

 

 _jaemin:_ DONGHYUCKSHGKJSDHF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry if ur looking for lele in this chapter you'll be getting loads of it in the next one c:
> 
> i was working on a more coherent outline for this fic and i realized i have so much that i wanna do but it'll take so many chapters?? like i'm hoping to keep the number of chapters for this under 30 but that's unrealistic for what i wanna do oh boy
> 
> stay safe drink water and remember that i love u!!!
> 
> -daniel 011319


	15. i only dropped this chapter today because clc released no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “so,” mark says, turning around in his seat with a shit-eating grin that jisung knows means trouble. “did you two kiss and make up?”
> 
> jisung’s face burns. “something like that.”

_lele:_ i, personally, think that renjun’s silent driving rule is stupid

 

 _jisung:_ he’s right your honor

 

 _mark:_ jeno convince renjun he’s not gonna crash if someone says something or if he turns on the radio

 

 _jeno:_ i would but that would require me talking out loud and then he’d yell at me for reckless endangerment

 

 _lele:_ once he had to drive me home from school and i was texting jisung and i laughed a little and he stopped the car and lectured me for five minutes about how i could’ve died

 

 _hyuck:_ for someone who boasts about wanting to die renjun sure does care a lot about not wrecking

 

 _mark:_ dumbass have you seen him drive alone? he only drives well when there are other people in the car

 

 _lele:_ oh my god

 

 _jisung:_ OH MY GOD

 

 _hyuck:_ MARK WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT IM SO SAD NOW

 

 _jaemin:_ why are you guys sad

 

 _jeno:_ WE CLOWN HIM FOR DRIVING CAREFULLY BUT HES ONLY DRIVING CAREFULLY BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO CRASH WITH US IN THE CAR

 

 _lele:_ /THAT’S MY MF OLDER BROTHER/

 

 _lele:_ should i do it

 

 _hyuck:_ do what

 

 _jisung:_ dont he’ll yell

 

 _lele:_ :)

 

 _hyuck:_ taking my hearing aids out until further notice so i don’t have to hear renjun yelling at chenle. please update me

 

 _jeno:_ chenle - “ge we love you” renjun - “What the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch”

 

 _mark:_ im in literal fucking tears please

 

 _lele:_ hes so MEAN to me im gonna cry

 

 _jisung:_ HHH

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between jisung and mark!_ **

 

 _jisung:_ this is risky

 

 _mark:_ hes right next to you what do you want

 

 _jisung:_ WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING THIS IS ABOUT HIM

 

 _jisung:_ CAN I NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

 

 _mark:_ no

 

 _mark:_ you hate me

 

 _jisung:_ I LOVE U >:((

 

 _mark:_ go ahead and rant ab chenle Fool

 

 _jisung:_ something’s up with him but idk what

 

 _jisung:_ when i woke up this morning i noticed that he had tear tracks on his face

 

 _jisung:_ i wiped them away so you guys wouldn’t see but. i’ve never seen him cry before

 

 _jisung:_ and i don’t like the fact that he cried next to me and i didn’t know

 

 _jisung:_ i shouldn’t have been asleep for that

 

 _jisung:_ idk i should’ve been there for him

 

 _mark:_ oh he’s whipped your honor

 

 _jisung:_ his voice is changing too

 

 _mark:_??

 

 _jisung:_ i told you about the association thing i do right

 

 _mark:_ yeah

 

 _jisung:_ last night his voice was blue

 

 _jisung:_ and felt like water

 

 _jisung:_ today it’s sadder and emptier and it’s gray and feels like tree bark

 

 _mark:_ you should pull him aside and talk to him after breakfast

 

 _mark:_ see what’s bothering him

 

 _jisung:_ i’m sure if he was ready to tell me he would’ve told me by now

 

 _jisung:_ but i really can’t take not knowing so i might

 

 _mark:_ look we’re almost to the diner

 

 _mark:_ just. act normal with him, see how he reacts

 

 _mark:_ at some point ask him if you two can talk alone, and if he says yes, ask him what’s bothering him & comfort him

 

 _mark:_ i promise he absolutely will not be put off by you wanting to talk to him

 

 _mark:_ and i think he’ll be really really happy to see that you care

 

 _mark:_ because i know he knows you love him a lot (not even in that way) but even if he does know that he’s a very touchy-feely person and he needs a lot of physical affection and constant validation

 

 _mark:_ so u should like. give that to him

 

 _jisung:_ he’s so cute mark im gonna cry

 

 _jisung:_ feelings. why do i do that

 

 _mark:_ are you asking me why you have feelings

 

 _jisung:_ Why Do Feel. Brain Does Not Want Feel Today

 

 _mark:_ JISUNG

 

 _jisung:_ HNNNNNNNNNNNGH

 

* * *

 

jeno half-regrets letting renjun drive, because he knows for a _fact_ that renjun can’t parallel park to save his life.

 

“i’m literally going to beat all of your asses if you don’t _move your heads so i can see,”_ renjun drawls, his left leg bouncing up and down nervously. jeno watches chenle open his mouth to say something in the rear-view mirror, but renjun spots a car parking where _he_ was going to and shouts in disdain, effectively shutting chenle up.

 

“right there,” jeno says quietly, pointing to an open spot on the curb.

 

 _“god,”_ renjun cries, throwing his arms up into the air. “maybe you _do_ have rights, after all.

 

“who said he didn’t?” questions donghyuck from the backseat, where he’s sat snugly in-between jaemin and mark.

 

“shut up.”

 

jeno sits on the edge of his seat nervously. the car inches forward past the parking spot, and renjun unbuckles his seatbelt to see better, puts the car in reverse, and backs into the parking spot.

 

he turns the ignition and sits with his back straight. it’s no use; the seat still makes him look even smaller than he already is. “that’s the first time in my life i’ve ever parallel parked straight,” renjun says, clearly a changed man.

 

chenle screams praise _—_ to be fair, they _all_ do, but chenle screams the loudest by far. they exit the car and flood out into the streets, jaemin leaning against the car and twisting his back. donghyuck helps him walk. chenle is _still_ screaming when renjun maneuvers around the car and onto the sidewalk, and he doesn’t stop when jeno, bright and filled with energy, picks him up by his waist and spins him around.

 

“i _told_ you that you could drive!” he shouts. “what did i say? i said, _‘renjun, i swear you’re fine to drive us. i promise nothing will happen,’_ and look! you parallel parked! you’re growing up so fast, i’m so proud of you—”

 

“i’m older than you,” renjun says shortly, lightly hitting jeno’s back as a signal to drop him. jeno figures if he doesn’t now, renjun won't drive him home, so he lowers the other onto the ground as gently as he can.

 

jaemin makes his way towards renjun and plants a loud kiss on his cheek. “proud of you, injunnie,” he grins. he tries to walk back to donghyuck, but trips, so jeno catches him.

 

“what kind of romcom _bullshit—”_ donghyuck begins, but mark quickly slaps a hand over his mouth before he can get any farther.

 

“right,” jeno says quickly, helping jaemin upright and securing an arm around him. “c’mon.”

 

“min, is your back acting up?” chenle asks.

 

jaemin frowns. “a little, but—”

 

donghyuck starts ranting about the importance of telling him things like this and how chenle had a cane in his closet that he could’ve used, but jaemin cuts him off. _“but_ i don’t want to be coddled, and my next checkup for my back is soon, so i should try to gauge how much pain i’m in right now.”

 

“mother of _god,”_ mark says, eyes rolling up to the sky. he doesn’t seem to find anything up there, because he sighs and waddles over to jaemin (yes, waddles, because his hoodie is very big on him, and jeno thinks he kind of looks like a little penguin in it), takes him from jeno, and hoists him into the air bridal style.

 

“alright, i’m not even going to start with the fact that you’ve never done that for _me,_ but what could jaemin _possibly_ gain from that?!” donghyuck whines.

 

 _“jealous,”_ renjun sings. donghyuck juts out his bottom lip and pouts.

 

mark doesn’t listen. they’ve been standing in the parking lot for the better part of three minutes, and he’s getting impatient. he walks into the diner with jaemin in his arms, leaving the rest of the group in the dust.

 

“table for two, ma’am?” they hear faintly from inside. donghyuck grimaces.

 

“it’s sir, actually,” mark says back, his voice a little bitter. “and table for seven.”

 

jeno eventually decides it’s time to stop waiting around outside. he takes renjun’s hand without thinking and walks him inside, and only when they’re approaching their table does renjun pull his hand away. jeno winces, and when he sits down across from mark, he gets a strange glance.

 

the table is so crowded that he ends up squeezed between jaemin and chenle. jisung is to chenle’s side, and across from them, mark, donghyuck, and renjun sit together.

 

“lele, you don’t have to take half an hour to order. this is an american diner. you can’t possibly be expecting that much.”

 

“alright, to be fair, i _am_ expecting a shit-ton of hash browns,” mark says, and the entire table turns to him strangely.

 

“what the fuck are _hash browns,”_ renjun says, eyebrows furrowed.

 

mark blanks. “they’re like…” he trails off. “potatoes?”

 

“are you asking us, or telling us?” jaemin asks.

 

“man, at this point, i honestly have no idea.”

 

“i want hash browns,” chenle decides. jisung looks at him strangely.

 

“that’s _all_ you want?”

 

“i want to gauge how much i trust mark,” chenle shrugs. renjun rolls his eyes.

 

eventually, they order, and when their food is brought out, chenle takes a bite of his food, hums in approval, and cuts a hash brown into little pieces so he can divvy it out to the table. the rest of the table, much to mark and chenle’s disdain, decides that hash browns taste awful.

 

about halfway through breakfast, jisung’s phone rings, and he answers it hesitantly. he listens to the other side of the line for a few seconds, then brings his phone away from his ear.

 

“mark, taeyong says he’s parked outside for you.”

 

mark frowns and stands, pushing his chair in as he goes. he drops a hasty kiss on the top of donghyuck’s head and begins to walk away, but donghyuck grabs his wrist with a pout.

 

“where’re you going?”

 

“taeyong’s taking me to the clinic. i’ve got a hormone shot scheduled today, and the gender specialist wants to evaluate me and see if she thinks i’m ready for top surgery.”

 

“i could’ve driven you,” renjun says, but mark shakes his head.

 

“it’s fine. i’ll see you guys soon. thanks for inviting me over, lele, i had a lot of fun,” he says, and then he’s walking out the door. jeno feels a gust of cold air on his back.

 

jisung brings his phone back up to his ear. “he’s on his way out,” he says, then listens to taeyong again. “why haven’t i—can we not talk about this? i’ll call you later, and then we can talk, alright?” another pause. “no, i promise i’ll call you this time. really. _yes,_ i swear i will. okay. _okay!_ love you. bye.”

 

jeno tries his best not to stare at chenle’s hand as it snakes under the table to hold jisung’s hand. even though he notices, he doesn’t say anything, instead laughing at donghyuck’s attempts at a conversation as he spoons mark’s leftovers into a to-go box for the older. renjun elbows donghyuck’s plate, and the end result is a hoodie sleeve soaked and stained with maple syrup. jaemin cackles at renjun as the older tries to clean it up and eventually just decides to suck on the sleeve of his hoodie until it’s somewhat preservable.

 

“people are staring. i hate you,” donghyuck groans. renjun flashes him half of a heart, and donghyuck sighs and begrudgingly completes the other half.

 

in his peripheral vision, jeno watches jisung check his phone, stuff it into his pocket, and pull chenle out of his seat. “we’ll be back,” jisung says shortly, but everyone but jeno is too busy laughing at renjun (because the idiot has gotten his sleeve in maple syrup _again)_ to notice.

 

jisung drags chenle out of the restaurant, and the only sign that they’re finally gone is when the bell chimes at the door and another gust of cold air hits jeno’s back. he shivers and runs his hands up and down his arms as he curses himself for forgetting to bring a jacket.

 

“are you cold?” jaemin asks suddenly, his bottom lip jutting out. jeno doesn’t get a chance to answer before he’s shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around jeno’s frame. he pulls jeno closer to him. “there.”

 

jeno finds that it’s hard to think about jisung and chenle when jaemin’s so close to the rapidfire drumming of his heart.

 

* * *

 

jisung thinks with certainty that today is blue.

 

he pulls chenle along and ignores the cold air burning his face. he can feel the older’s eyes on him, and for a second, he meets them. his lungs burn, and then there is only _blue._ blue is the sky, the tide of his breathing, blue, blue _blue._ it washes over him like a great wave, and he thinks absently that things will be okay.

 

“why are we out here?” chenle asks, hugging his jacket closer to himself. “it’s cold.”

 

jisung doesn’t answer him. instead, he wets his lips and asks, “are you okay?”

“am i…?” chenle echoes, voice softer now. “no, sungie, but i’m getting there. i’ll be fine in a little while.”

 

the tide of blue laps at him one last time before sinking back into the ocean it had come from. now, there is fear, there is doubt, and jisung curls in on himself a little as he tries to think of a response.

 

“i don’t know how to help with that,” jisung says, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed. “can you tell me what’s wrong? i want to help.”

 

“if you tell me why we’re really out here, i’ll tell you what’s wrong.”

 

weakly, jisung says, “that’s not fair,” but the words come out softer than he intended, and the wind carries them away before chenle can understand them.

 

he stares at his shoes. in the pit of his stomach, anxiety furls and unfurls, back and forth. he feels helpless.

 

now, there is orange. orange that pulls him under, suffocates him. his head barely rises above the waves as they sway, ruthless and uncaring— _one, two, three, and he’s gone—_ but they freeze over when chenle tangles their hands and rubs a thumb comfortingly over the guard of his palm.

 

his mind is swimming. but chenle is there, next to him, and all he sees is orange. orange are the heels of his shoes as he stares at them, orange are the flashes that dance before his eyes, orange is the dust of chenle’s cheeks, so faint that the sunlight turns pink to rose to orange. it's beautiful.

 

“i like you,” he rushes out in one short breath. the orange floods him, presses between the blades of his shoulders, snakes around his heart and _constricts._ his chest burns, but he composes himself in a barely-there whisper that he hopes to god chenle hears. “you don’t have to say anything. you don’t have to like me back. i just needed you to know.”

 

by now, chenle has stopped walking. jisung walks on, but chenle grabs his wrist and pulls him back. he stumbles over his own feet and thinks for a second that he might fall, but chenle steadies him, and suddenly, all he can think about is the way chenle’s hands grip his shoulders tightly, and then the way they slide down his arms and finally rest at the older’s sides idly.

 

he thinks briefly how nice it must be to have those same arms around his neck.

 

“sungie,” chenle says. his voice is delicate, like he thinks jisung is fragile. maybe he is. “look at me.”

 

jisung stares at the street behind chenle. there’s a car parked on the curb, a car that’s too familiar, but he can’t recall how he knows it. he can’t think too hard about it, either, because chenle reaches up to grab his chin and tilt it towards him. “look at me,” he repeats, and this time, jisung does.

 

“you don’t have to be nervous,” chenle says, a smile curling at the corner of his lip. “it’s just me.”

 

“i’m not…” jisung tries to say, but the words catch in his throat and die there. he huffs a sigh.

 

for a second, he glances at chenle’s hands that hang limply at his side and thinks of how perfectly chenle’s hand fits in his. what he wouldn’t give to hold them now.

 

“can i hold your hand?” chenle asks suddenly, and jisung tilts his head back and squeezes his eyes shut because chenle _knows_ what he needs without him even telling him. his heart beats a little faster.

 

he realizes chenle’s still waiting for an answer and nods. when chenle finally takes his hand, he thinks that here is _nothing_ that is more perfect than this, than how he feels right now. he’s terrified— _petrified,_ even—but there’s a warmth in his chest that spreads through him and laps at his frayed and nervous edges more gently than the waves of orange ever had. _this_ is blue, jisung realizes. it’s more palpable now than he’s ever known it to be.

 

chenle brings his free hand up to jisung’s chest and presses against his heartbeat. he hopes with every fibre in him that chenle can’t feel just how fast it’s beating.

 

“look,” chenle says, untangling their fingers and guiding jisung’s hand up to his throat, where he extends two fingers and presses them there. “there’s your pulse. you know that means you’re alive and breathing. you’re okay. nothing bad is happening. so there’s no need to be nervous, sungie.”

 

and then chenle is snaking his arms around jisung’s neck, locking his fingers together. the pads of his thumbs brush the base of jisung’s neck, and he shivers at the way the touch burns.

 

how nice it is to feel chenle’s arms around him.

 

“jisung, listen. this is groundbreaking,” chenle grins at him, and jisung has to laugh because everything is groundbreaking with chenle. “i like you, too. a lot.”

 

jisung finds it in himself to breathe out, “what the fuck,” and then his voice stops working and his lungs burn black.

 

chenle laughs at him. he _laughs._ it’s bright and bubbly and jisung fights down the urge to kiss him. but really, he thinks, how lovely would it be to be able to kiss him?

 

he closes his eyes, and there is blue when he opens them, blue in the puffs of air that chenle is letting out, blue in the frayed collar of chenle’s shirt, blue in the reflection of the sky in chenle’s eyes, blue in the veins that run through his arms and keep him breathing (barely, he thinks).

 

“sungie, is it okay if i kiss you?”

 

orange, orange, _orange_ are the clouds that run through the sky, orange is the sun that burns behind his eyelids when he closes his eyes, orange is the bow of chenle’s lips. orange is the haze in the air that weaves thicker than smoke and proves twice as hard to choke down. orange, orange, _orange._

 

jisung nods his head as much as he can manage.

 

chenle leans in, and jisung closes his eyes. this is not real, he thinks faintly. this is a dream.

 

something brushes his cheek. it’s gone before he can register that the _something_ is chenle’s lips, but once he does, the orange subsides, and blue washes through him. blue is the breath of air that leaves his lungs, blue is the near-cloudless sky, blue is chenle and all his nature.

 

“that wasn’t a real kiss,” jisung says. his voice is hoarse, but somehow, chenle understands what he’s saying and grins.

 

“alright,” he whispers, voice louder than it needs to be. jisung doesn’t mind.

 

chenle’s hand curls around his jaw and pulls him closer, and then they’re kissing slowly. for a moment, orange dances across his eyelids like a flame, but blue swallows it up, and he smiles into the kiss, pulling chenle closer.

 

he thinks for a moment that kissing is different than he had expected it to be. maybe he’s doing something wrong. isn’t he supposed to move his lips more?

 

he tilts his head, and chenle pulls away laughing. “not yet. let me,” he says, drawing jisung’s jaw closer for another kiss.

 

a car roars in the distance. suddenly, a horn blares next to him, and jisung flinches away from chenle’s touch.

 

now he understands where he recognizes the car from; it’s taeyong’s car, and mark is hanging out the passenger seat and pointing this thumb at the backseat. “get in! it’s cold.”

 

“how long were you sitting there?” chenle whines. “you were stalking us, weren’t you?”

 

mark just grins. “i can afford to be late to my appointment.”

 

taeyong swats his arm and scowls. “no, you _can’t.”_ he looks at jisung, and his expression softens. “sungie, get in the car. i’ll drop you two off at chenle’s house.”

 

“it’s fine, renjun can take us—” jisung begins, but chenle leans up to him and hisses something in his ear.

 

_“renjun’s car doesn’t have heating. taeyong’s does.”_

 

jisung nods quickly. in a few seconds, they’re seated comfortably in the back seat of taeyong’s car, chenle’s hand on his knee and the vents blowing warm air onto his face. “so,” mark says, turning around in his seat with a shit-eating grin that jisung _knows_ means trouble. “did you two kiss and make up?”

jisung’s face burns. “something like that.”

 

* * *

 

hours later, jisung’s lying awake in chenle’s bed, a pillow between the two because jisung isn’t sure how to ask chenle to cuddle him. he blinks and opens his mouth to say something, then shuts it.

 

“what?” chenle asks.

 

“you never told me why you were upset,” he says.

 

chenle laughs. he pulls the pillow from between them and throws it absentmindedly across the room. jisung doesn’t even check to see where it lands—he doesn’t have time to, because chenle is pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him. he wonders if chenle can feel him grinning into his shoulder.

 

“i’m not upset anymore,” chenle whispers, and jisung gets it.

 

he falls asleep with chenle’s arms around him, and when he wakes, he’s delighted to find that they’re still there, and that they’ll still be there whenever he needs them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took so long to write and i'm so sorry :((( i had about 3/4 of it written and then google docs deleted the entire chapter and i had to start from scratch which. induced Panic
> 
> also jisung has synesthesia and it feeds into his asperger's which is why everything in this chapter from his perspective is blue blue blue and orange orange orange. he really feels everything through colors (orange is panic and blue is just. blue is love/happiness/endearment and all that good stuff)
> 
> this chapter is so long (about 3.6k) for my usual writing i haven't written a chapter this long since like. early last year i'm amazed
> 
> i hope you're all doing well!! the general consensus from the comments last chapter was that you guys Absolutely Do Not Mind if i write like 30 chapters for this fic so thank you i'm glad you're enjoying this fic it means a lot :')
> 
> stay safe drink water and please remember that i love you!!! 
> 
> -daniel 013019


	16. kim sungkyung come home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno: oh my god they fucking killed him
> 
> mark: who
> 
> jeno: the bastard reading this

_renjun:_ bitches and gentlemen of the jury

 

 _renjun:_ ohnno. oh NO I AM CALLING ALL OF YOU BITCHES I AM NOT DISRESPECTING WOMEN I LOVE WOMEN

 

 _jeno:_ You fool. you absolute fucking buffoon. renjun you imbecile

 

 _jeno:_ what do you want

 

 _renjun:_ i want to do something impulsive. brain says so

 

 _jaemin:_ I’m Coming Over!

 

 _jeno:_ me 2 i have a bad idea

 

 _renjun:_ i have a worse idea

 

 _donghyuck:_ i am so afraid thank u

 

 _donghyuck:_ i will not be partaking in this impulsivity because i am one of two people in the chat who has a love life and i am using it to my advantage

 

 _mark:_ donghyuck is making me buy a waterslide for him. it’s october.

 

 _donghyuck:_ you weren’t supposed to TELL THEM

 

 _mark:_ i resent that statement

 

 _donghyuck:_ which

 

 _mark:_ one of two people

 

 _mark:_ *four

 

 _donghyuck:_ oh did renjun and jaemin finally make out

 

 _jaemin:_ IM SORRY DID RENJUN AND JAEMIN /WHAT/

 

 _donghyuck:_ you heard me bitchboy

 

 _lele:_ hi everyone i have mono

 

 _mark:_ NO :(((

 

 _jisung:_ i also have mono >:/

 

 _donghyuck:_ Wait

 

 _renjun:_ Wait

 

 _jeno:_ Wait

 

 _jaemin:_ oh how DELICIOUS

 

 _mark:_ :D

 

 _donghyuck:_ MARK YOU KNEW?!?!

 

 _jisung:_ knew what

 

 _jaemin:_ THAT YOU AND CHENLE ARE DATING!!!

 

-

 

**_private chat between jisung and lele!_ **

 

 _jisung:_ HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW

 

 _jisung:_ CHENLE

 

 _jisung:_ CHWNLE HOW DO THEY KNOW IM FREAKING OUT

 

 _lele:_ baby it’s kind of suspicious for us both to have mono at the same time

 

 _lele:_ there’s a reason it’s called the kissing disease

 

 _lele:_ do you not want them to know?

 

 _jisung:_ i needed to psych myself up for it i really wasn’t ready

 

 _jisung:_ im sick enough to where i can’t move very well so my paranoia is going through the roof

 

 _jisung:_ if anyone tries to touch me i Will convulse on the floor like i’m being exorcised

 

 _lele:_ valid

 

 _lele:_ you’re so cute oh my god

 

 _jisung:_ Chenle Dont Do That

 

 _lele:_ mwah

 

 _lele:_ here i’ll fix it

 

-

 

 _lele:_ why would we be dating

 

 _lele:_ sungie got mono bc he drank out of my glass on accident whenever he spent the night at my house

 

 _jaemin:_ okay

 

 _donghyuck:_ okay

 

 _jeno:_ okay

 

 _renjun:_ Okay…..

 

 _mark:_ D:

 

 _renjun:_ dude this hair dye is so thick i can make my hair into crazy shapes

 

 _renjun:_ also while i’m waiting for it to set i’m literally in a towel because this hair bleach is so fucking strong i think if it touches my skin the hair there will melt

 

 _jaemin:_ oh COOL send me a picture of your hair up in a giant spike

 

 _donghyuck:_ h. hair dye

 

 _donghyuck:_ Hair dye? fucking. hair dye?

 

 _renjun:_ [image attached]

 

 _renjun:_ going blond babes

 

 _renjun:_ or. honey brown? gold-ish?

 

 _jaemin:_ NICEEE

 

 _jaemin:_ my hair is still drying from the fucking bleach ugh it looks awful

 

 _jaemin:_ you have my dye with you right

 

 _jeno:_ i have it

 

 _jeno:_ i’ve already dyed mine but it’s still drying

 

 _jeno:_ and i have clothes on

 

 _jeno:_ so renjun’s a wimp

 

 _renjun:_ MEAN

 

 _donghyuck:_ you’re all really dying your hair without me

 

 _renjun:_ yes :)

 

 _donghyuck:_ love you the mostest

 

 _renjun:_ kissass

 

 _donghyuck:_ i am coming over you’d better have dye left

 

 _renjun:_ we have bleach left get your own dye

 

 _donghyuck:_ hey mark :(((

 

 _mark:_ NO

 

 _donghyuck:_ :(((((((

 

 _mark:_ NO!!!!

 

 _mark:_ DUDE IVE ALREADY LEFT THE STORE!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ firstly don’t call me dude. we are dating

 

 _jeno:_ disgusting

 

 _mark:_ shut up

 

 _donghyuck:_ secondly please :((

 

 _mark:_ what color do you want

 

 _donghyuck:_ YES :DD surprise me

 

 _donghyuck:_ come over to jun’s when ur done

 

 _donghyuck:_ we can b romantic and dye each other’s hair

 

 _jisung:_ that is literally the most disgusting thing i’ve ever read

 

 _jisung:_ thank you

 

 _renjun:_ i finished drying my hair and bastard doesn’t recognize me im so sad

 

 _donghyuck:_ who

 

 _renjun:_ bastard?

 

 _donghyuck:_ which one jeno or jaemin

 

 _jaemin:_ HEY THAT’S MEAN

 

 _renjun:_ my cat. is named bastard. did you not know this.

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m sorry your cat is named WHAT

 

 _renjun:_ well. his proper name is fruitcake because he was born in a clinic and they gave him a temporary name (that was meant to be a stupid name to keep them from getting emotionally attached) but we never got around to renaming him whenever we adopted him

 

 _renjun:_ so. his name is fruitcake

 

 _renjun:_ but i call him bastard or bitchboy

 

 _jisung:_ WHY

 

 _jisung:_ and why didn’t i know u have a cat… i’ve been over to your house before

 

 _donghyuck:_ it’s okay i forgot his cat’s name and have been calling him by just saying “hey you”

 

 _renjun:_ jisung to answer your question bastard likes to hide in the fruit bowl so. that’s probably why you haven’t seen him

 

 _renjun:_ anyways back to my predicament

 

 _renjun:_ he doesn’t recognize me anymore

 

 _jaemin:_ i think he still recognizes you jun

 

 _jaemin:_ he seems somewhat pissed that he’s not getting any attention tho so like. love on the babie

 

 _renjun:_.

 

 _renjun:_ nvm jaemin was right

 

 _jaemin:_ As Per Usual

 

 _jaemin:_ in thirty years when i’m dead and gone you’ll all realize i was right about anything ever. and then. then you will know

 

 _jeno:_ are you implying that you’ll only live to be 48

 

 _jaemin:_ once the arthritis sets in nothing stops the imminence of death

 

 _lele:_ i’m shaking what does this mean

 

 _jaemin:_ Oh U Know

 

 _lele:_ JAEMIN PL

 

 _jeno:_ oh my god they fucking killed him

 

 _mark:_ who

 

 _jeno:_ the bastard reading this

 

 _mark:_ direct hit. direct hit. we’re going down i repeat we’re going down

 

 _lele:_ it’s what u deserve

 

 _mark:_ WHAT DID I DO

 

 _lele:_ invited yourself over to renjun’s house to dye everyone’s hair while jisung and i are bedridden

 

 _lele:_ we’re SUFFERING

 

 _lele:_ and ur putting chemicals in ur hair without us. sickening

 

 _jisung:_ mark i trusted u

 

 _jisung:_ u lived with me for how many years

 

 _jisung:_ and you hang me out to dry like this

 

 _mark:_ YOU HAVE MONO

 

 _mark:_ EPSTEIN-BARR

 

 _mark:_ MONONUCLEOSIS

 

 _mark:_ WHATEVER U WANNA CALL IT IM STAYING AWAY

 

 _jaemin:_ mark lived with who for what

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH MARK TELL HIM YOUR TRAGIC BACKSTORY!!! HE DOESN’T KNOW YET

 

 _mark:_ OH THIS IS FUN THIS IS FUN

 

 _mark:_ when i came out to my family as trans they moved us from canada to korea to put me in a less accepting environment because they thought it’d make me grow out of my “phase”

 

 _mark:_ eventually i got sick of it and ran away :D

 

 _mark:_ jisung’s brother taeyong found me living in the streets after a while and he just kind of. they. they kind of adopted me

 

 _mark:_ so they’re like the supportive brothers i never had

 

 _jisung:_ supportive family u never had

 

 _mark:_ no my sister was supportive!!! she was like 11 BUT

 

 _mark:_ damn she was a real one i miss you sungkyung

 

 _mark:_ omg do you think she remembers me….

 

 _donghyuck:_ usually when mark talks about his family he gets really sad about it but right now he has a look on his face

 

 _lele:_ what kind of look

 

 _donghyuck:_ a Look

 

 _donghyuck:_ and i don’t like it

 

 _mark:_ who wants to help me break into my house so i can talk to my little sister again for the first time in uh uh uh how many years

 

 _mark:_ i honestly don’t remember how long it’s been donghyuck how long has it been

 

 _donghyuck:_ IDK??? JISUNG HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN

 

 _jisung:_ you left home a month before your fifteenth birthday and we fake adopted you when you were fifteen so! you’re nineteen now and it’s october so a little over uhhh four years

 

 _mark:_ SUNGKYUNG IS FIFTEEN

 

 _mark:_ IM GONNA CRY SHES OUT THERE DOING HIGH SCHOOLER THINGS AND MAKING FRIENDS WHAT A LEGEND

 

 _mark:_ ANYWAYS WHO WANTS TO HELP ME MEET MY SISTER AGAIN!!!

 

 _renjun:_ ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ THIS IS AN AWFUL IDEA BUT I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU!!!

 

 _jaemin:_ ME

 

 _jeno:_ YOU’RE GOING TO BE ARRESTED BUT OKAY!!!

 

 _jisung:_ i’m calling taeyong

 

 _mark:_ like u have the guts to text him

 

 _jisung:_ fair blow. hurtful but fair

 

 _lele:_ dont worry mark if you get arrested i’ll bail you out

 

 _mark:_ thanks chenle. that’s very comforting

 

 _lele:_ always happy to help

 

 _donghyuck:_ we need a plan

 

 _renjun:_ assuming mark’s family still lives at his old house just wait for her to come home from school

 

 _jaemin:_ what if his parents show up

 

 _mark:_ roll for perception

 

 _jeno:_ jisung roll

 

 _jisung:_ -2 proceed

 

 _mark:_ GREAT! it’s settled we’ll wait for sungkyung on my parents’ front porch

 

 _mark:_ i’ll see u nerds monday

 

 _mark:_ PEACE

 

**_mark has left the chat!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ he’s so dramatic jisung why do you look up to him

 

 _jisung:_ he’s like taeyong but .2% less terrifying

 

 _donghyuck:_ sungie he’s not terrifying i literally watched him down a can of whipped cream and then snort it all back out of his nose because i said something that made him laugh so hard

 

 _donghyuck:_ i love the guy but hes essentially a big puppy

 

**_jeno has added mark to the chat!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ donghyuck called you a puppy

 

 _jeno:_ just wanted u to know

 

 _mark:_ we’re breaking up. immediately. renjun is my new boyfriend

 

 _renjun:_ WHY AM I EVERYONE’S SCAPEGOAT BOYFRIEND!!

 

 _renjun:_ JENO THEN HYUCK THEN MARK I AM NOT HAVING IT

 

 _jaemin:_ JJJENO?

 

 _jeno:_ BYE!

 

 _jaemin:_ can it be this gc’s rite of passage to ask renjun out

 

 _donghyuck:_ no because if you ask him he’ll blush and say “haha why would you say that”

 

 _jaemin:_ jisung roll

 

 _jisung:_ FOUR!

 

 _jaemin:_ renjun date me  <3

 

 _renjun:_ inhale

 

**_renjun has left the chat!_ **

 

 _jaemin:_ BUZZKILL

 

**_jaemin has added renjun to the chat!_ **

 

**_renjun has kicked jaemin from the chat!_ **

 

 _jisung:_ i don’t have to see jaemin to be able to confirm that he’s currently pouting

 

**_jisung has left the chat!_ **

 

 _lele:_ yall r boring

 

**_lele has left the chat!_ **

 

 _mark:_ this is for calling me a puppy

 

 _donghyuck:_ IT WAS A JOKE

 

**_mark has kicked donghyuck from the chat!_ **

 

**_mark has left the chat!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ ah. silence and loneliness. time to rant

 

 _jeno:_ cannot fucking BELIEVE jaemin started hugging me without letting go whenever we were eating at the diner the other day

 

 _jeno:_ like it was the most casual thing for him but i still lost my mind

 

 _jeno:_ and jun looked so pretty that day too i swear to god i’ve barely come to terms with being gay and i’m still trying not to develop trust issues bc of eunji... if i have to add being in love with one boy and having a crush on another to my list of ongoing problems i’m gonna scream

 

 _jeno:_ is that. a thing.

 

 _jeno:_ liking two people

 

 _jeno:_ can people do that

 

 _jeno:_ oh my god i’m awful i’m horrible why would i even think that

 

 _jeno:_ it’s bad enough loving renjun who i know i can never be with… i’ve given up on him because i know he’ll never see me as anything more than a friend but with jaemin he. gives me hope i dont knowwww

 

 _jeno:_ he’s so touchy with me no one’s ever been touchy with me

 

 _jeno:_ i shouldn’t be ranting on here because the chats save shit

 

 _jeno:_ and i need to go to sleep while i still feel tired

 

 _jeno:_ but. hhhh

 

 _renjun:_ i’ll just. uh. go

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FCUK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE WHAT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK

 

 _renjun:_ jaemin added me back remember

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

 _renjun:_ heh

 

**_renjun has left the chat!_ **

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT THEF UCK

 

 _jeno:_ DELETING THIS CHAT NOW

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

**_jeno has left the chat!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sungkyung is smrookies lami because i ult all the smrookies girls! i miss them so much i need their debut
> 
> also i hope u enjoy this 2k-word pile of steaming garbage as a late lunar new year present hehe
> 
> i have no idea what happened during this chapter but i do know i tried to increase the amount of one-liners in this i hope it wasn't Too bad
> 
> thank u for reading!!! stay safe drink water and remember that i love u!!!
> 
> -daniel 021019


	17. kim sungkyung is home!

_ lele:  _ christ

 

_ lele:  _ i forgot you all dyed your hair

 

_ lele:  _ possibly including mark? idk he doesn’t GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE so i haven’t seen him in a while

 

_ lele:  _ i saw jaemin in class today and whacked him upside the head because i didn’t recognize him and thought he came to take my seat

 

_ jaemin:  _ my jaw still hurts you demon

 

_ lele:  _ love u :>

 

_ mark:  _ my hair is back to black

 

_ donghyuck:  _ :((((

 

_ jaemin:  _ bitches of the jury

 

_ jaemin:  _ (that’s how u do it respectfully renjun)

 

_ renjun:  _ thanks

 

_ jisung:  _ what do u want jaemin

 

_ jaemin:  _ your unconditional support

 

_ jisung:  _ you already have that?

 

_ jaemin:  _ (he wheezes)

 

_ jaemin:  _ anyways

 

_ jaemin:  _ u know how cheer tryouts were last week

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yea

 

_ jaemin:  _ and you know how i used to be a gymnast before i hurt my back

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yea _ ……….. _

 

_ jeno:  _ you used to be a WHAT

 

_ jaemin:  _ What if i told u i went to tryouts and they just texted me back asking me to be their captain

 

_ donghyuck:  _ YOU’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A CHEER TEAM BEFORE WHY ARE THEY ASKING YOU TO BE THEIR CAPTAIN

 

_ jaemin:  _ FAKE NEWS YOU BITCH I WAS THE CHEER CAPTAIN AT MY OLD SCHOOL BEFORE I HURT MY BACK

 

_ donghyuck:  _ BEFORE I HURT MY BACK THIS BEFORE I HURT MY BACK THAT EVERYTHING IN UR LIFE HAPPENED BEFORE U HURT UR BACK

 

_ jaemin:  _ MAYBE,,, CONSIDER,,,,,, IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO DO ANYTHING /AFTER/ I HURT MY BACK

 

_ donghyuck: ……. _ fair

 

_ jaemin:  _ ive still got it tho……..  they asked me to do a bunch of shit for them and i was able to do everything

 

_ jeno:  _ jaemin i’m fucking captain of the dance team and i can’t even do the splits

 

_ jeno:  _ oh shit cheer season really is coming up huh

 

_ jeno:  _ oh damn i’m gonna have to choreograph shit for halftime

 

_ jeno:  _ and then all of eunjis cheerleader friends will choke me out

 

_ donghyuck:  _ remember that one time renjun was on the basketball team for like a week

 

_ jeno:  _ god yes that was so fucking funny he just flailed around the court

 

_ renjun:  _ That was the period of time when i realized i was gay 

 

_ renjun:  _ it is also the reason i have an aversion to basketball now

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you got over it though! and now you’re actually good at it

 

_ jaemin:  _ renjun played basketball. renjun. renjun played BASKETBALL?

 

_ jeno:  _ renjun did

 

_ jeno:  _ renjun is very good at basketball

 

_ jeno:  _ but renjun doesn’t like basketball

 

_ jeno:  _ if donghyuck manages to convince him to join the team again this year then jaemin has to cheer at renjun’s games now haha

 

_ jaemin:  _ JAEMIN HAS TO WHAT

 

_ jaemin:  _ mother of god the coach just texted me back and asked for my dimensions for the uniform

 

_ jaemin:  _ she sent pictures of the uniform

 

_ jaemin:  _ i’m gonna gouge my eyes out i CANNOT fit in that

 

_ jaemin: _ (i refuse to fit in that)

 

_ donghyuck:  _ DO YOU GET A SKIRT

 

_ jaemin:  _ YES _. _

 

_ donghyuck:  _ THIS IS AMAZING DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE DRESSED UP IN SKIRTS AND WENT OUT ON THE TOWN

 

_ jaemin:  _ YES. THAT’S WHY IM MAD.

 

_ mark:  _ WHEN YOU WHAT

 

_ jaemin:  _ ANYWAYS

 

_ jaemin:  _ SHE TOLD ME IF I DONT WANNA WEAR THE SKIRT I CAN WEAR LOOSE-FITTING TIGHTS

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WEAR THE SKIRT U FUCKIN COWARD

 

_ jaemin:  _ NO!

 

_ jaemin:  _ my legs are holy and sacred and they will be saved for god and my future wife

 

_ renjun:  _ jaemin you’re gay and an atheist

 

_ jaemin:  _ God And My Future Wife!

 

_ jisung:  _ so did yall forget about mark’s master plan

 

_ lele:  _ His what

 

_ jeno:  _ why’d you capitalize His

 

_ lele:  _ u know how they capitalize pronouns referring to god

 

_ lele:  _ there’s my reasoning

 

_ donghyuck:  _ mark is not god he’s a bastard

 

_ lele:  _ HEY. capitalize the g in god

 

_ donghyuck:  _ YOU DIDNT DO IT EITHER

 

_ lele:  _ Gark

 

_ donghyuck:  _ fuck you drop ur location so i can come and choke u out

 

_ jaemin:  _ anyways

 

_ lele:  _ jisung His What

 

_ jisung:  _ his plan

 

_ jisung:  _ the one where he goes to his little sister’s house and tries to get in contact with her again

 

_ renjun:  _ Oh. That Plan. The One We All Forgot About

 

_ jisung:  _ mark where are u

 

_ mark:  _ in my dorm

 

_ jisung:  _ what about the plan

 

_ mark:  _ i already taped a note to their front door so like. if she sees it then she sees it i guess

 

_ mark:  _ all it said was her name and then my chat id

 

_ mark:  _ anyways chenle i love u but never refer to me as Gark ever again

 

_ lele:  _ whatever u say Gark

 

_ mark:  _ okay, Die

 

_ donghyuck:  _ do any of you bitches have a pencil i can borrow

 

_ renjun:  _ why do you not have a pencil

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m an art hoe?? i take my notes in pen and mildliners duh

 

_ renjun:  _ never in my life have i wanted to kill you more

 

_ mark:  _ we’re breaking up

 

_ donghyuck:  _ PLEASEHNGKSNDHFKJ

 

* * *

 

**_[unknown contact] has requested to message you. accept?_ **

 

**_[YES]_ **

 

_ mark lee:  _ who is this?

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ who are you

 

_ mark lee has changed their name to mark! _

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ how do you know where i live and how did you know my name

 

_ mark:  _ you had a sister right

 

_ mark:  _ a long time ago

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ okay yeah how do you know that

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ she died years back

 

_ mark:  _ alright thanks mom and dad

 

_ mark:  _ listen i’m your sister

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ your name is literally mark

 

_ mark:  _ you probably forgot about it but i’m trans

 

_ mark:  _ idk what mom and dad told you but when we moved from canada to korea it was only to put me in an environment that wouldn’t accept me

 

_ mark:  _ and eventually i got sick of it and ran away

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ my sister died in a car crash when i was 7

 

_ mark:  _ did you go to the funeral?

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ what

 

_ mark:  _ do you remember going to her funeral and seeing her

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ oh god

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ you’re right

 

_ lee sungkyung:  _ if you’re really my sister then send a picture of yourself

 

_ mark:  _ i’m not your sister anymore, i’m your brother

 

_ mark:  _ and you wouldn’t be able to recognize me. i’ve transitioned

 

_ lee sungkyung has changed their name to kyungie! _

 

_ kyungie:  _ alright well still 

 

_ kyungie:  _ i have no way of knowing whether you’re actually my brother or not

 

_ mark:  _ once when we were little u got stuck on an escalator and somehow ended up hanging off it as it carried u into the air and when u fell i had to catch u

 

_ kyungie:  _ wow i didn’t think that would work

 

_ kyungie:  _ why do you use u so much

 

_ mark:  _ i’m gay it’s the only way i know how to type

 

_ mark:  _ oh my god ur a baby i shouldn’t have said that

 

_ mark:  _ i am… Straight….. yes………

 

_ kyungie:  _ i like girls

 

_ mark:  _ YOU SJFKSKKFSKS

 

_ kyungie: _ i joined the lgbt club at school! mom and dad don’t know but

 

_ kyungie:  _ i’ve made some friends

 

_ kyungie:  _ there’s this really nice kid named jaemin!! he’s newer to the club but he’s really sweet to me and he always buys me snacks

 

_ mark: . _

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and jaemin!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ JAEMIN

 

_ jaemin:  _ what

 

_ mark:  _ SUNGKYUNG

 

_ jaemin:  _ your sister? i know two sungkyungs

 

_ mark: . _

 

_ jaemin: . _

 

_ jaemin:  _ Oh my god that’s your sister

 

_ mark:  _ THAT’S MY SISTERNSHGJKNSDHFKJANSHJK

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and kyungie!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ who else do you know?

 

_ kyungie:  _ well there’s renjun but he never says anything and he’s always hanging off donghyuck

 

_ mark:  _ who’s donghyuck?

 

_ kyungie:  _ he’s essentially the leader of the club

 

_ kyungie:  _ he’s really pretty

 

_ kyungie:  _ like. ethereal out of this world pretty

 

_ kyungie:  _ i’m gay but

 

_ mark:  _ who else

 

_ kyungie:  _ well there’s jisung!!! he doesn’t talk much except to the boys but we have geometry together and he plays rock paper scissors under the table with me when i’m falling asleep from boredom

 

_ kyungie:  _ oh! and there’s chenle he’s always trying to mess with donghyuck

 

_ kyungie:  _ there’s jeno, he doesn’t come to a lot of meetings but when he does he usually doesn’t say much

 

_ kyungie:  _ those are all people i don’t really talk to though

 

_ kyungie:  _ i talk to the girls a lot more

 

_ mark:  _ the girls?

 

_ kyungie:  _ yeah!! we have a little gang

 

_ kyungie:  _ me hyein yizhuo and hina

 

_ kyungie:  _ they’re my best friends we all bond over cute girls

 

_ kyungie:  _ also we exclude the boys from lgbt club movie nights because donghyuck never shuts up about his boyfriend

 

_ kyungie:  _ i forgot his name but he is and i quote

 

_ kyungie:  _ “the prettiest, most incredible boy in the universe”

 

_ kyungie:  _ like it’s lgbt club but it’s not Donghyuck Wax Poetic About Your Boyfriend club

 

_ kyungie:  _ some of us are wallowing in misery over being single

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and donghyuck!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ prettiest most incredible boy in the universe huh

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHO SPILLED

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WAS IT RENJUN

 

_ donghyuck:  _ JENO

 

_ donghyuck:  _ OH. JAEMIN.

 

_ mark:  _ sungkyung

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh no oh god that’s sungkyung

 

_ donghyuck:  _ please hit me upside the head how did i not realize!!! That’s Sungkyung

 

_ mark:  _ jaemin didn’t either it’s ok

 

_ mark:  _ dumbass solidarity

 

* * *

 

**_private chat between mark and kyungie!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ hey look

 

_ mark:  _ [image attached]

 

_ kyungie:  _ is that donghyuck

 

_ kyungie:  _ wait whose cheek is he kissing

 

_ kyungie:  _ is that his boyfriend

 

_ kyungie:  _ he was right he’s pretty

 

_ kyungie:  _ why do u have that photo

 

_ kyungie:  _ how do u know what donghyuck looks like

 

_ kyungie:  _ UNLESS

 

_ kyungie:  _ OH MY GOD UR DONGHYUCK’S BOYFRIEND

 

_ kyungie:  _ IT WAS /YOU/ WHO BOUGHT THAT WATERSLIDE THAT WE FILLED WITH GLITTER PAINT

 

_ kyungie:  _ oh my god ur the one who made him cry that one time? i’m going to kill you

 

_ kyungie:  _ ANSWER ME

 

_ mark:  _ i’m just watching ur thought process dont mind me

 

_ kyungie:  _ WAIT IF DONGHYUCK’S BOYFRIEND IS JISUNG’S OLDER BROTHER THEN IS JISUNG MY BROTHER????

 

_ kyungie:  _ IM SO CONFUSED

 

_ mark:  _ NO

 

_ mark:  _ NOT BIOLOGICALLY

 

_ mark:  _ jisung and his older brother taeyong kind of took me in after i ran away so i’m their honorary brother

 

_ kyungie:  _ oh so there’s a difference between his brother and his Brother

 

_ mark:  _ elaborate

 

_ kyungie:  _ he’ll be like “my brother won’t stop calling me sigh” but then he’ll be like “my Brother wont stop sending me deep fried memes”

 

_ kyungie:  _ and Brother gets a disappointed tone

 

_ mark:  _ damn he doesn’t like my memes?

 

_ kyungie:  _ they’re all dr phil edited onto an m&m posing like the you know i had to do it to em guy

 

_ kyungie:  _ have some self control im begging u

 

_ mark:  _ ...fair

 

_ kyungie:  _ you rly let me rant about the alliance boys when u know two of them

 

_ kyungie:  _ let me guess u know them all

 

_ mark:  _ jeno is my best friend chenle is like a little brother to me and jaemin and renjun are both very close w/ me

 

_ kyungie:  _ man FUCK you

 

_ mark:  _ language

 

_ kyungie:  _ i’m literally 15

 

_ mark:  _ Language

 

_ kyungie:  _ jisung is right ur a nerd

 

_ mark:  _ i am ur BROTHER

 

_ kyungie:  _ Act Like It! Buy Me Beer Or Something 

 

_ mark:  _ ur like 3

 

_ kyungie:  _ sloooorp! [thats me downin a bud lite to spite u]

 

_ mark:  _ OK! DIE!

 

_ kyungie:  _ we Just reunited u can tell me to die when we’ve been talking for a year

 

_ mark: _ no

 

_ mark:  _ if u have the guts to ask me to buy u beer then i am telling u to lock urself in a coffin

 

_ kyungie:  _ rude. you’re estranged now

 

_ mark:  _ was i not already

 

_ kyungie:  _ NOOOOOO THAT WAS AWFUL STOP

 

_ mark:  _ its the truth

 

_ mark:  _ anyways i have to go study for my exam because cool college kid reasons

 

_ kyungie:  _ oh bye!!! text me whenever i’d love to talk more

 

_ mark:  _ <3

 

_ kyungie:  _ oh BIG cringe

 

* * *

 

_ lele:  _ and that’s how i nearly got jisung suspended for doing a flip off the monkey bars

 

_ mark:  _ so were none of u going to tell me that lee sungkyung is my sister

 

_ jeno:  _ . that makes sense

 

_ jaemin:  _ mark im sorry

 

_ lele:  _ shes………

 

_ jisung:  _ OH!

 

_ jisung:  _ damn

 

_ jisung:  _ i had my suspicions once u told me ur sisters name but

 

_ jisung:  _ hehe bitches i was right

 

_ mark:  _ ur my onliest brother and u kept this from me….

 

_ jisung:  _ taeyong is ur brother too

 

_ mark:  _ sungkyung told me u favor him over me therefore im kicking him out of the fake family

 

_ jisung:  _ alright. fair

 

_ jisung:  _ my point is i was right

 

_ donghyuck:  _ we GET it you’re SMART

 

_ jisung:  _ :D

 

_ renjun:  _ shes the one who has that fat crush on yizhuo right

 

_ donghyuck:  _ mhm

 

_ jaemin:  _ ye

 

_ mark:  _ SHE WHAT

 

_ renjun:  _ ning yizhuo

 

_ renjun:  _ the girl who waxes poetic about ur little sister in mandarin to me because she only knows me as hwang injoon the quiet guy who doesn’t talk and she thinks i don’t understand

 

_ mark:  _ She.. ,,hgsa,f,she hhas a crush on a girll,,,, SHEs growing up,,.............

 

_ renjun:  _ if i have to listen to one more love rant i’m going to start identifying as a het

 

_ lele:  _ oh yizhuo knows u speak mandarin she just likes torturing u bc ur both quiet and ur both chinese

 

_ renjun:  _ how do u know this

 

_ lele:  _ because we shit talk jeno in mandarin duh

 

_ donghyuck:  _ im gonna learn japanese for hina

 

_ renjun:  _ ur literally in a relationship

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i didnt say i wanted to date her did i

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m going to become her best friend and then we can shit talk jaemin in japanese

 

_ jaemin:  _ jokes on u shes already my bffie

 

_ jaemin:  _ there are few things i wouldn’t do for nakamura hina

 

_ jeno:  _ would u die

 

_ jaemin:  _ ABSOLUTELY.

 

_ mark:  _ i feel bad for not joining lgbt club when i was in hs :((( i missed out on all these people apparently

 

_ donghyuck:  _ well u id-ed as straight so

 

_ mark:  _ Donghyuck I Am Transgender

 

_ donghyuck:  _ OH RIGHT I FORGOT

 

_ mark:  _ the only real trans ally

 

_ jeno:  _ im RIGHT HERE

 

_ mark:  _ u dont count 

 

_ jeno:  _ making a kickstarter to put mark down

 

_ jeno:  _ the benefits of killing him would be that i would get bullied way less

 

_ mark:  _ no one will donate to that

 

_ lele:  _ i, for one, am donating my entire inheritance

 

_ jisung:  _ me too!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i have $3

 

_ mark:  _ i TRUSTED you

 

_ jaemin:  _ $4

 

_ jeno:  _ SOLD to the cutie with the pink hair

 

_ donghyuck:  _ is this u flirting? ur out of touch damn

 

_ jeno:  _ I will literally eat ur jugular

 

_ renjun:  _ i refuse to contribute

 

_ mark:  _ thank u renjun :D

 

_ renjun:  _ c:

 

_ mark: anyways  _ jeno that’s MY job >:( im the vampire here remember

 

_ renjun:  _ never mind. i’ll send you my paypal information immediately

 

_ mark:  _ D:

 

_ jeno:  _ F

 

_ jaemin:  _ F

 

_ lele:  _ F

 

_ donghyuck:  _ F

 

**_jisung has added kyungie to the chat!_ **

 

_ jisung:  _ F

 

_ kyungie:  _ F

 

**_jisung has kicked kyungie from the chat!_ **

 

_ renjun:  _ F.

 

_ mark:  _ EVIL. ALL OF YOU

 

**_mark has left the chat!_ **

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? having an excuse for not updating? it's less likely than you think
> 
> have a 2.5k chapter to make up for it. also sungkyung's back because damn i miss that little devil
> 
> also i published a markhyuck fic!!! there's character death but the entire story revolves around [REDACTED CHARACTER] coming back from the dead because of magic shit so he's only dead for one chapter so don't let that scare u away!!! link is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17761463/chapters/41909189), pls show it some love <3
> 
> stay safe drink water and please remember that i love u!!!
> 
> -daniel 030619
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/qiansluv)
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/younqbin)


	18. dramatique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lele: PEE ON UR FOOT JENO
> 
> renjun: NO ONE IS PEEING ON ANYTHING.

_jeno:_ hey

_lele:_ hi?

_jeno:_ i’m kind of in a predicament

_lele:_ continue

_jeno:_ i’m stuck here

_donghyuck:_ where

_jeno:_ this mouse trap

_renjun:_ so you. let me get this clear. you

_renjun:_ you’re stuck in a mousetrap

_jeno:_ and it really hurts

_jeno:_ does anyone know how to disarm it

_jisung:_ i’m not sure it’s called disarming

_jeno:_ okay well jisung my foot is kind of stuck in a mouse trap so excuse me for my syntax issues

_jisung:_ hey dont look at me!!! im babey

_lele:_ yes you are

_renjun:_ okay no one fucking talk in caps lest He see this notification and check the chat

_renjun:_ the LAST thing we want is keysmashing that’ll only make this worst

_lele:_ YOU JUST FUCKING USED AN ALL-CAPS WORD.

_renjun:_ YOU JUST FUCKING TYPED IN ALL-CAPS

_jisung:_ everyone be quiet everything is fine this is fine he’s not here yet

_jisung:_ stay calm

_donghyuck:_ who are you talking about

_jaemin:_ JNEO GOT HIS FUCKING FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSE TRAPGDSNJSDGHLKNFHAKSLNGHDKFNHSJAKLGNDKJFNHSAKJNGJDFNHKJSABGDHFJASGHLSDABFKJG

_renjun:_ THAT. that is what im talking about

_jaemin:_ half offended but i mean that’s fair enough

_jaemin:_ BUT JENO GOT HIS FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSE TRAPHGSNKDFHAKJSGNHFLH

_jeno:_ jaemin im gonna break ur neck

_jeno:_ anyways i figured out how to get out of the mouse trap

_jeno:_ but my toe hurts :///

_lele:_ oh pee on it!

_jeno:_ HUH?

_lele:_ pee on it!! if you get a cut and it burns then pee on it and it won’t get infected

_donghyuck:_ chenle. chenle that’s jellyfish stings

_donghyuck:_ you pee on jellyfish stings

_lele:_ NO IT’S CUTS

_lele:_ PEE ON UR FOOT JENO

_renjun:_ NO ONE IS PEEING ON ANYTHING.

_lele:_ says YOU

_jeno:_ IM NOT PEEING ON MY FOOT.

_lele:_ FINE! WHAT DO I KNOW ANYWAY

_renjun:_ NOT A LOT, APPARENTLY

 

 _lele:_ IM IN THE SMART KID CLASSES. I HAVE TO KNOW /SOMETHING/

 

 _renjun:_ YOU’RE THE DUMBEST SMART PERSON I KNOW

 

 _lele:_ GOD. GOD I HATE YOU. YOU’RE RIGHT

 

 _jisung:_ HES RIGHT

 

 _mark:_ CAN WE STOP YELLING

 

 _mark:_ JENO FIX YOUR WEIRD FOOT THING

 

 _mark:_ SOMEBODY NAG ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK

 

 _mark:_ AND SOMEBODY MAKE SURE JISUNG EATS DINNER

 

 _jeno:_ ok

 

 _mark:_ see? that’s calm. calm is good

 

 _jisung:_ hey i don’t eat dinner you know that

 

 _jisung:_ i consume depression snacks only

 

 _jisung:_ (a single potato chip and thirteen hawaiian rolls)

 

 _jeno:_ cool mine is whatever dirt i find under my fingernails and then i chase that with carmex

 

 _jaemin:_ Hey Are You Guys Okay

 

 _jeno:_ no we are not! :)

 

 _lele:_ my depression snack is as much hershey’s chocolate syrup as i can manage to fit into my mouth. it’s my weekly medicine too

 

 _jisung:_ oh my god is that why you taste like chocolate all the time when i kiss you

 

 _jisung:_ wait

 

 _jisung:_ OH GOD.

 

 _lele:_ GOD YOU FUCKING IDIOT I LOVE YOU

 

 _jisung:_ YOU WHAT?

 

 _lele:_ GOD. FUCK.

 

 _jisung:_ YOU FUCKING IDIOT I L*KE YOU TOO

 

 _jaemin:_ KISS????

 

 _jeno:_ LOVE???????????????????????

 

 _mark:_ ah. dumbasses.

 

 _renjun:_ so you’re telling me. they’ve been dating for however long. and we’ve had no idea

 

 _renjun:_ more importantly, I’VE had no idea,

 

 _donghyuck:_ i am going to burn you fuckers to the ground

 

 _lele:_ thanks

 

 _donghyuck:_ anytime

 

 _mark:_ no one is burning anything!!!!

 

 _jisung:_ on the topic of relationships and such

 

 _jeno:_ i’ll rip you apart with my bare fucking hands you twig

 

 _jisung:_ jeno! hows your ongoing crush on jaemin

 

 _jeno:_ my what

 

 _jaemin:_ his what

 

 _renjun:_ his WHAT

 

 _jisung:_ alright, new phrasing

 

 _jisung:_ jeno! hows your perpetual crush on renjun

 

 _jeno:_ haha lol my what

 

 _renjun:_ it’s good he can’t grasp that years of internalized homophobia have left me unable to love

 

 _renjun:_ he is also too stupid to realize that my monkey brain literally could not care less about my internalized homophobia and is going to implode soon

 

 _jeno:_ What does this mean im shaking

 

 _renjun:_ bad part of brain hate gay people even though im gay people

 

 _jaemin:_ i’m glad we’re finally outing jeno as polyamorous and in love with both of us

 

 _renjun:_ ah yes! did he accidentally rant about liking you in a private chat too?

 

 _jaemin:_ LMAOOOOOOOOOO

 

 _jeno:_ I’M GOING TO FUCKING SHAVE BOTH OF YOUR HEADS

 

 _jeno:_ ALL OF YOUR HEADS

 

 _jeno:_ WHAT DOES POLYAMOROUS MEAN

 

 _jeno:_ NEVER MIND IT DOESNT MATTER BECAUSE I DONT LIKE YOU ASSHOLES FUCK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ all of this is news to me except jeno being oblivious to renjun’s gay hater syndrome

 

 _renjun:_ i’m sorry, i’m TRAUMATIZED

 

 _lele:_ god my hands are so dry

 

 _donghyuck:_ thanks chenle. thats what we needed in this conversation about jeno’s love life

 

 _lele:_ you’re all boring and it’s clear what’s gonna happen in like three months shut up and start talking about me and jisung again

 

 _renjun:_ you and jisung are old news ever since u decided not to tell me u STARTED DATING HIM

 

 _renjun:_ relationship dishing circle with chenle cancelled. jaemin is my relationship disher now

 

 _jaemin:_ i propose we meet and talk shit about jeno on wednesdays

 

 _renjun:_ yes!!!!

 

 _mark:_ can i join i wanna talk shit about jeno

 

 _jeno:_ why are you all BULLYING ME

 

 _renjun:_ sorry mark you can’t join unless jeno has fallen in like with you before

 

 _mark:_ Oh, Haven’t You Heard?

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH, HAVEN’T YOU HEARD?

 

 _jeno:_ NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP THIS NOW

 

 _renjun:_ TELL ME. TELL ME NOW AND MAKE HIM SUFFER

 

 _mark:_ JENO AND I DATED ONCE BECAUSE WE BOTH HAD OUR GAY AWAKENING WHILE WE WATCHED THESE DUDES BUSKING ON THE STREET AND SO WE WERE LIKE “WELL ALL GAYS ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER RIGHT” AND THEN WE JUST. DATED. BUT WE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL SO WE REVERSE SPOONED AND HIGH-FIVED UNTIL WE BROKE UP

 

 _renjun:_ GOD. THAT’S SO FUCKING DISGUSTING I LOVE IT WELCOME TO THE CLUB

 

 _jaemin:_ BRING UR OWN JUICEBOX TO THE NEXT MEETING!!!!

 

 _mark:_ :D

 

 _jeno:_ do you all know that i hate you. all of you. collectively. the only person here i trust anymore is

 

 _jeno:_ wait never mind you’ve all wronged me the last person i trusted was jaemin but that’s out the window

 

 _jeno:_ wait

 

**_jeno has added kyungie to the chat!_ **

 

 _kyungie:_ what do you want whore

 

 _mark:_ language

 

 _kyungie:_ oh god ur here im sorry

 

 _kyungie:_ what do you want dear friend jeno

 

 _kyungie:_ and dear friends [insert bastard names here]

 

 _mark:_ ur not supposed to know that word

 

 _kyungie:_ FUCK OFF LET HIM SPEAK

 

 _jeno:_ sungkyung ur the only one here i trust

 

 _kyungie:_ good

 

 _kyungie:_ eunji came to talk to my class about the benefits of joining cheerleading and i threw a stick at her head

 

 _kyungie:_ so you’d better trust me

 

 _mark:_ how do you know about what happened with eunji

 

 _mark:_ where did you get a stick to throw at her if you were in a classroom

 

 _mark:_ why do you know the b word

 

 _kyungie:_ bastard

 

 _mark:_ B. WORD.

 

 _kyungie:_ i stole the stick from donghyuck while he was waving it around and chasing jaemin with it

 

 _donghyuck:_ i told him it was his cane

 

 _donghyuck:_ bitch isn’t gonna pay for one so mother nature made one for him

 

 _renjun:_ god i love mother nature she’s my favorite lesbian

 

 _jaemin:_ you’re so fucking valid renjun

 

 _donghyuck:_ anyways

 

 _kyungie:_ donghyuck cartwheeled into our gsa meeting one day screaming about how eunji and jeno broke up and how jeno was finally free from her “demon claw clutches”

 

 _jeno:_ he was right

 

 _donghyuck:_ i was right!

 

 _kyungie:_ anyways can i leave now

 

 _mark:_ fine sure whatever

 

 _kyungie:_ love you or whatever

 

 _kyungie:_ bitchass

 

 _mark:_ love you too thot

 

**_mark has kicked kyungie from the chat!_ **

 

 _mark:_ god i love that girl

 

 _jisung:_ i would hope so

 

 _jisung:_ me too

 

 _lele:_ can we all circle back to the fact that jeno got his foot stuck in a mouse trap

 

 _renjun:_ DONT

 

 _jeno:_ NO. YOU FUCKING BUFFOON

 

 _jaemin:_ JENO GOT HIS FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSETRAPNGSNDFNSDGNSDFNSGNSDNFHKSDHGKJASFHNKSDJGNSDHNFKJHS

 

**_donghyuck has kicked jaemin from the chat!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ peace. at long last.

 

 _lele:_ it’s not peaceful here you’re still in the chat

 

**_donghyuck has kicked lele from the chat!_ **

 

 _donghyuck:_ anyone else have any wisecracks for me

 

 _jisung:_ give me back my boyfriend

 

 _renjun:_ [he malfunctions]

 

 _donghyuck:_ u know what? u know what? im DONE, GOODNIGHT, i cannot please everyone and still expect to be thanked. exhausted and upset

 

 _mark:_ dramatic

 

 _donghyuck:_ THIN FUCKING ICE, LEE,

 

 _mark:_ whatre you gonna do. divorce me?

 

 _donghyuck:_ yeah :) taking ur money in the settlement too

 

 _donghyuck:_ if you’d like to go to court that is

 

 _mark:_ let’s do it baby i know the law

 

**_renjun has kicked mark from the chat!_ **

 

___**renjun has added jaemin to the chat!** _

 

 _renjun:_ i know he said baby as a joke but that’s literally the most disgusting thing he’s ever said i physically cringed away from my screen as he said it

 

 _donghyuck:_ as you should, that’s what i do with all of his messages

 

 _jaemin:_ that’s what i do with all of yours donghyuck

 

 _donghyuck:_ SICK AND TIRED OF THE UNAPPRECIATION IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. GOODNIGHT.

 

 _jaemin:_ dramatique!

 

**_donghyuck has left the chat!_ **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back after nearly a whole fucking month of not updating this i am So Sorry. i am;;; just a liddol dumbass......... thatse it... i canot chamge thise,,,,,,,,,
> 
> so! chensung is out because jisungs stupid. and jenos stupid. come to think of it they're all stupid who am i kidding
> 
> i hope u enjoyed this!!! plugging my [markhyuck fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17761463) here once again because i'm jobless :D 
> 
> stay safe drink water and remember that i love u!!! support sonamoo's upcoming comeback and give pentagon their first win!!! be gay do crime commit arson!! I LOVE U!!!!
> 
> -daniel 040519
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/qiansluv)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/younqbin)


	19. this is your area this is ur space she cant do that here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun: i will literally break your wrists and steal your spinal cord
> 
> jaemin: if you do the second can i have it
> 
> lele: you don’t even have to ask just take it

_jisung:_ going to the store yall want anything

 

 _jaemin:_ serotonin

 

 _donghyuck:_ some more bagel bites

 

 _jeno:_ for renjun to love me back

 

 _jisung:_ yeah i have like eight bucks at most

 

 _renjun:_ oh are we putting your love out in the open now

 

 _jeno:_ you bastards already figured it out somehow so i Guess

 

 _jaemin:_ bastards?

 

 _jaemin:_ oh i count

 

 _jaemin:_ does that mean

 

 _jeno:_ jisung get me some oreos

 

 _jisung:_ do i gotta

 

 _jeno:_ for your favorite older brother?

 

 _mark:_ HEY.

 

 _mark:_ i got estranged once i will NOT tolerate a second time

 

 _jeno:_ hush

 

 _jisung:_ jeno’s my honorary older brother

 

 _mark:_ says WHO

 

 _jisung:_ me. that is a thing. that i just said

 

 _mark:_ :(

 

 _renjun:_ jisung can you get me some m&ms

 

 _jisung:_ do i have to

 

 _renjun:_ ye

 

 _jisung:_ okay but im not walking over to your place to give you m&ms you have to get them tomorrow at school

 

 _renjun:_ that’s so far away from now though :///

 

 _jaemin:_ that’s lazy just walk to jisung’s and get your candy

 

 _renjun:_ no

 

 _jaemin:_ hermes would be disappointed in you

 

 _lele:_ i only know who that is because of percy jackson B)

 

 _jisung:_ dont use that emoticon ever again

 

 _jeno:_ omg i loved percy jackson when i was little!!!

 

 _donghyuck:_ so you’re gay

 

 _jeno:_. y

 

 _jeno:_. yeah

 

 _donghyuck:_ thinking about him

 

 _mark:_ who

 

 _donghyuck:_ frank zhang

 

 _jeno:_ lawful. my favorite animorph

 

 _lele:_ it’s alright you can call him a furry

 

 _jisung:_ HE’S NOT A FURRY

 

 _renjun:_ you’re just defending him because you’re a furry yourself

 

 _jisung:_ I’M NOT    A FUCKING FURRY!!!!!

 

 _lele:_ don’t make me break out the old timey text

 

 _jisung:_ do it you won’t

 

 _lele:_ HARK! A FOOL!

 

 _jisung:_ this doesn’t phase me jeno calls me stupid every day

 

 _jaemin:_ jeno i’m literally gonna rip your eyes out

 

 _jeno:_ or…… you could……… Not do that?   


_mark:_ yeah im with jeno on that one

 

 _lele:_ jisung is no more brain than stone and a furry as well

 

 _jisung:_ WE’RE THROUGH.

 

 _lele:_ baby taketh me backeth :(

 

 _jisung:_ jokes on you. i can’t read

 

 _lele:_ art all furries illit'rate?

 

 _jisung:_ i’m literally calling mark as we speak

 

 _mark:_ who hurt you

 

 _jisung:_ look! i summoned him

 

 _lele:_ behold! a furry and a beldams!

 

 _renjun:_ what the fuck is a beldams

 

 _lele:_ idk i typed in witch and that’s what i got out of it

 

 _jisung:_ HOW DOES MARK BEING A GOOD AND PUNCTUAL BROTHER MAKE ME A WITCH

 

 _lele:_ mark is fraternizing with the enemy

 

 _mark:_ ENEMY??? HELL NAH

 

 _mark:_ i’m on your side

 

 _jaemin:_ a double agent, if you will

 

 _mark:_ i’m agen’t

 

 _jeno:_ you’re WHAT?

 

 _mark:_ i’m not an agent

 

 _mark:_ i’m a spy

 

 _renjun:_ no explain the. agen’t

 

 _mark:_ i’m creating new contractions

 

 _mark:_ agen’t = not agent

 

 _jisung:_ mark that’s. that’s not how it works

 

 _mark:_ you mean that’sn’t how it works

 

 _jisung:_ NO.

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m literally throwing you out of your dorm

 

 _donghyuck:_ i’m texting your roommate and telling him to kick you in the shin

 

 _mark:_ good, i’m pretty sure dejun hates me anyway

 

 _renjun:_ dejun? as in.

 

 _lele:_ [chinese psychic noises]

 

 _lele:_ Xiao Dejun?

 

 _mark:_ how do you know that

 

 _renjun:_ cousin

 

 _renjun:_ goes to the same college as you

 

 _renjun:_ just now made the connection

 

 _renjun:_ the important question here is how does CHENLE know

 

 _lele:_ i said [chinese psychic noises] does that not explain everything

 

 _lele:_ chinese hive mind

 

 _lele:_ i know what you’re thinking before you even say it out loud

 

 _lele:_ and right now you’re thinking about buying me dinner because i’m such a wonderful little babey

 

 _jisung:_ you’re not a babey you’re a demon

 

 _mark:_ you’ren’t a babey

 

 _mark:_ :D

 

 _donghyuck:_ SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF ME AGGRESSIVELY TEXTING DEJUN

 

 _mark:_ jokes on u!!!! he’s probably on a date with his loser boyfriend!!!!!

 

 _renjun:_. boyfriend

 

 _renjun:_ BOYFRIEND?

 

 _mark:_ …………..yes?

 

 _renjun:_ boy name. contact info. social security number. now

 

 _renjun:_ credit card information is not required but would be greatly appreciated

 

 _mark:_ uh. he calls himself frogboy that’s all i know

 

 _mark:_ and he’s really cuddly

 

 _mark:_ the second time i met him he shouted “MARK!!!” and gave me a bear hug and now it’s custom for him to jump into my arms every time i see him. i still don’t know his name though

 

 _donghyuck:_ wish i had a boyfriend who would let me jump into his arms

 

 _donghyuck:_ Oh Wait,

 

 _mark:_ nope not happening

 

 _mark:_ this binder already gives me back problems the last thing i need is for my back to hurt on a daily basis

 

 _jaemin:_ gee mark i wonder what it’s like to have back problems on a daily basis. i really wonder

 

 _lele:_ frogboy? that sounds familiar

 

 _jeno:_ OH OH OH I KNOW HIM

 

 _jeno:_ FROGGY

 

 _mark:_ WHO?

 

 _jeno:_ FROGGY!!!! WE ALL CALL HIM FROGGY

 

 _mark:_ WHO’S “WE”

 

 _jeno:_ DANCE SQUAD

 

 _donghyuck:_ I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT EXPLAIN

 

 _jeno:_ NO THE ONE I SNEAK OUT TO BE IN

 

 _jeno:_ THE ONE THAT MEETS UP LIKE THREE TIMES A MONTH AND WE ALL JUST GO FUCKING HAM TO SOME EDM

 

 _jeno:_ HE’S CHILL WE GET ICE CREAM AFTER MEETS

 

 _mark:_ yeah but what’s his name

 

 _jeno:_ liu yangyang!

 

 _lele:_ YANGYANG

 

 _lele:_ YES I KNOW HIM

 

 _renjun:_ LIU YANGYANG? THE BASTARD THAT SAT ON TOP OF MY CAR FOR A MONTH STRAIGHT LAST YEAR? THAT LIU YANGYANG?

 

 _donghyuck:_ OH. HIM.

 

 _donghyuck:_ HE TOOK MY MILK AT LUNCH ONCE :(

 

 _mark:_ what a villain

 

 _donghyuck:_ i BOUGHT that milk with my OWN MONEY

 

 _donghyuck:_ he bullied me it counts

 

 _jeno:_ NO THATS HIM TRYING TO BE YOUR FUCKING FRIEND IDIOT

 

 _jeno:_ HES THE KIND OF FRIEND THAT’S MEAN TO U AND CALLS U A BITCH BUT HES A BIG SOFTIE

 

 _jeno:_ LIKE JISUNG BUT MEAN

 

 _lele:_ jisung is evil what are you talking about

 

 _jisung:_ im EVIL. fear me

 

 _renjun:_ you sound like a rawr xd kid on wattpad

 

 _jisung:_ FUCK.

 

 _mark:_ god i’m gonna cry dejun was filling out an application and mumbling to himself and he went “whats 5 times 40” and i just.

 

 _mark:_ with absolutely no hesitation i said “2,000”

 

 _mark:_ and he just STARED AT ME.

 

 _jaemin:_ you absolute fucking idiot. i love you

 

 _mark:_ nothing has hurt me like this

 

 _mark:_ i’m literally just trying to do research on my possible major i didn’t ask to be attacked by math

 

 _lele:_ MAJOR?

 

 _jaemin:_ MAJOR?!?!?!?!?

 

 _mark:_ oh we are NOT doing this

 

 _mark:_ all i’m saying is that i’m stupid and that my possible (probable?) major is gay

 

 _donghyuck:_ how gay

 

 _mark:_ i chose it bc of you so i’d say pretty gay

 

 _donghyuck:_ GAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

 _mark:_ , gay

 

 _jaemin:_ u can’t just say that and not tell us

 

 _renjun:_ i agree

 

 _mark:_ :) goodnight everyone

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark come back

 

 _jisung:_ Mark.

 

 _lele:_ MARK

 

 _renjun:_ gentlemen. we ride at dawn

 

 _jeno:_ for what

 

 _renjun:_ mark’s major what else

 

**_renjun has kicked jeno from the chat!_ **

 

 _renjun:_ that’s for asking stupid questions

 

 _jaemin:_ spare him he’s gay

 

 _renjun:_ fine but just this once

 

 _lele:_ that’s gay

 

 _renjun:_ i will literally break your wrists and steal your spinal cord

 

 _jaemin:_ if you do the second can i have it

 

 _lele:_ you don’t even have to ask just take it

 

 _jisung:_ hey

 

 _jisung:_ i’m going to steal your bones

 

 _lele:_ is that not like. my specialty

 

 _lele:_ that’s illegal you can’t do that

 

 _lele:_ stealing professions? illegal

 

 _mark:_ can we go back to the fact that i don’t know math because i’m still devastated over it

 

 _donghyuck:_ mark what’s five times four

 

 _mark:_ one second

 

 _donghyuck:_ DON’T GOOGLE IT.

 

 _mark:_ TWENTY

 

 _donghyuck:_ what’s the square root of 49

 

 _mark:_ what the fuck is a square root i honest to god forgot

 

 _donghyuck:_ you’re so fucking dumb i love you

 

**_renjun has kicked donghyuck from the chat!_ **

 

 _renjun:_ his crime was being gay in public

 

 _mark:_ F

 

**_renjun has kicked mark from the chat!_**

 

 _renjun:_ outdated meme

 

 _renjun:_ goodnight kids

 

 _lele:_ im so afraid. why did you spare me

 

 _lele:_ i’m the evilest one here

 

 _renjun:_ oh your time is soon

 

 _renjun:_ goodnight kids :)

 

 _jisung:_ HEY! WHAT THE FUCK. GOODNIGHT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the only point of this chapter was to establish yangyang as frog boy because hes froggy and also hes baby
> 
> i'm really open to being swayed here so do yall like xiaoyang (???? is that what it's called) or could i..... add a third member to the party........... perhaps........... my favorite eboy hendery...... 
> 
> as im typing this note out my dog is lying at my feet and all is well so i hope ur doing well too!! stay safe drink water and remember that i love you!!!!
> 
> -daniel 041819
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/qiansluv)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/younqbin)


	20. i cant think of a witty title for this one sorry guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lele: anyone know why jaemins feral rn
> 
> jisung: someone said the p word
> 
> lele: haha pee

_ jeno:  _ gays!!!!! good news!!!!!

 

_ lele:  _ do share

 

_ jeno:  _ yall know the school musical is coming up right

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah

 

_ jeno:  _ the drama dpt commissioned us to be backup dancers!!!

 

_ jeno:  _ we’re getting PAID babey!

 

_ lele:  _ omg how much

 

_ jeno:  _ wouldn’t you like to know rich boy

 

_ jeno:  _ somebody who’s not rich ask me how much

 

_ jisung:  _ how much

 

_ jeno:  _ i’ve seen your tax records don’t lie to me

 

_ jisung:  _ I’M SIXTEEN?

 

_ jeno:  _ AH. i was thinking of mark

 

_ mark:  _ I DONT EVEN PAY MY TAXES…

 

_ renjun:  _ what an upstanding citizen

 

_ jeno:  _ anyways

 

_ jeno:  _ .4% of their total haul!!!

 

_ mark:  _ that doesnt sound like a lot

 

_ jeno:  _ oh it’s not

 

**_jeno has kicked mark from the chat!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ only it totally is when you consider that the musical is a partnership with five other schools and that every single showing is always packed with people sitting on the floor just to see the show

 

_ jeno:  _ so. we’re talking the hundreds range here PER SHOW

 

_ jeno:  _ and i know we should put it towards the fund for the dance team but. guys

 

_ renjun:  _ omg

 

_ renjun:  _ omg guys

 

_ jeno:  _ no let me say it!!!

 

_ renjun:  _ no :D

 

_ renjun:  _ WE SHOULD PUT THE MONEY TOWARDS A TOP SURGERY FUND FOR MARK 

 

_ jisung:  _ YOU WANNA MAKE ME CRY? HUH? IS THAT IT? YOU WANNA MAKE ME CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ DO IT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ok can i add him back

 

_ renjun:  _ go for it

 

**_donghyuck has added mark to the chat!_ **

 

_ mark:  _ what was that for bitchasses

 

_ jeno:  _ top secret dance team business

 

_ jeno:  _ anyways im excited to get the money for the dance fund

 

_ jeno:  _ we’ll start learning choreo at practice next monday

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yeah about that i. can’t go to dance practice until the musical is over

 

_ jeno:  _ why

 

_ donghyuck:  _ it has to do with my announcement 

 

_ lele:  _ what announcement

 

_ donghyuck:  _ the one i’m announcing rn bitch!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ anyways i can’t go to dance practice because my schedule is gonna be pretty booked

 

_ donghyuck:  _ if u catch my drift

 

_ jeno:  _ what do you have going on

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i’m busy every single day that the musical is practicing :////

 

_ jeno:  _ with what

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh yknow ://

 

_ jeno:  _ how do you know what days the musical has practice 

 

_ jeno:  _ they havent even told me yet

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh 

 

_ donghyuck:  _ yknow,,,

 

_ jeno:  _ no really how

 

_ jeno:  _ what kinda connections do u have we might need them if we wanna get closer to the stage

 

_ renjun:  _ jeno you’re so fucking dumb i love you

 

_ renjun:  _ he’s busy when the musical is practicing because he’s in the musical

 

_ jeno:  _ .

 

_ mark:  _ HYUCKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

_ jaemin:  _ HYUCKKKKKK

 

_ lele:  _ OMG

 

_ lele:  _ WHO DO U PLAY

 

_ donghyuck:  _ do u nerds even know what the musical is

 

_ lele:  _ no

 

_ mark:  _ what is it

 

_ donghyuck:  _ high school musical

 

_ lele:  _ TELL ME WHO YOU PLAY RN OR IM GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT OUT

 

_ donghyuck:  _ TROY I PLAY TROY

 

_ jaemin:  _ YOU GOT LEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ YEAH IDK HOW I TOLD THEM I’D NEVER EVEN ACTED BEFORE

 

_ mark:  _ UR JUST THAT GOOD BABEY!!!!!

 

_ mark:  _ i’m so proud of you :((( i love you i cant wait to get tickets for literally every showing

 

_ donghyuck:  _ i love u too!!!

 

_ donghyuck:  _ im nervous but im rly excited to try my best :D

 

_ jaemin:  _ im so excited to hear u sing ur gonna do so well

 

_ donghyuck:  _ have you ever even heard me sing before

 

_ jaemin:  _ come to think of it no

 

_ renjun:  _ wait ive. never heard you sing either

 

_ jeno:  _ me neither???

 

_ lele:  _ me neither,,,

 

_ mark:  _ . 

 

_ mark:  _ donghyuck why have u never sung for us

 

_ donghyuck:  _ bc i cant sing

 

_ renjun:  _ THAT LOGIC. IT’S FLAWED

 

_ renjun:  _ /YOU GOT THE LEAD ROLE IN A MUSICAL YOU CAN’T JUST SAY YOU CAN’T SING YOU COMPLETE DUMBASS/

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I CAN AND I FUCKING WILL.

 

_ mark:  _ donghyuck what does ur voice sound like

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ugly

 

_ renjun:  _ AGAIN, flawed logic i’m going to piss in your shoes

 

_ jaemin:  _ ...ok pissboy

 

_ lele:  _ PISSBOY

 

_ jisung:  _ whats that

 

_ mark:  _ NOBODY FUCKING SAY THE P WORD AGAIN

 

_ jisung:  _ piss?

 

_ jisung:  _ OH. PISS.

 

_ jaemin:  _ did you FORGET what the word piss meant

 

_ jisung:  _ MAYBE.

 

_ jeno:  _ so anyways now that we know renjun is into piss

 

_ jeno:  _ donghyuck what does your voice sound like

 

_ renjun:  _ IM NOT INTO PISS IM AN UPSTANDING TEENAGE BOY I SWEAR I PROMISE YOU

 

_ renjun:  _ I MADE HONOR ROLL LAST YEAR

 

_ jaemin:  _ AND THIS YEAR?

 

_ renjun:  _ ……………….. AB HONOR ROLL

 

_ jaemin:  _ JUST WHAT I THOUGHT. YOUR GRADES DROPPED BECAUSE OF PISS

 

_ renjun:  _ JAEMIN HOW WOULD THEY DROP BECAUSE OF PISS

 

_ jaemin:  _ I DONT KNOW DONT TRY AND TAKE DONGHYUCK’S SPOTLIGHT AWAY PISSBOY

 

_ mark:  _ donghyuck take the fall for him

 

_ jeno:  _ u mean take the piss

 

_ jaemin:  _ THE PISS? THE FUCKING PISS? I’M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH A CANE THAT I DONT EVEN OWN ITS GONNA BE A SIX FOOT STICK I FIND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS WHILE LOOKING FOR RENJUN’S CARCASS BECAUSE I FUCKING MURDERED HIM AND LEFT HIM THERE 

 

_ lele:  _ anyone know why jaemins feral rn

 

_ jisung:  _ someone said the p word

 

_ lele:  _ haha pee

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHY DID YOU MURDER HIM HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT

 

_ jaemin:  _ you know what he did

 

_ renjun:  _ can we all stop being so needlessly ominous can we PLEASE

 

_ mark:  _ you know what that’s it i’m the oldest in this chat and i’m banning any discussion of urine

 

_ donghyuck:  _ what about urinetown

 

_ mark:  _ what the fuck is urinetown

 

_ donghyuck:  _ a musical

 

_ mark:  _ ok urinetown can stay but it’s on thin fucking ice

 

_ jeno:  _ okay we completely derailed this conversation

 

_ jeno:  _ donghyuck sing for us

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ha losers u have to wait till the musical actually starts having practice

 

_ mark:  _ can i come to the practices

 

_ donghyuck:  _ no

 

_ mark:  _ WHY :(

 

_ donghyuck:  _ bc of all the people i know u are the person i want to hear my singing the least

 

_ mark:  _ not gonna lie it stung but i respect it

 

_ donghyuck:  _ ITS NOT LIKE THAT im just a self-conscious little bitch

 

_ donghyuck:  _ anyways back to ur regularly scheduled bitchy donghyuck

 

_ donghyuck:  _ u can wait to hear my voice during opening night like the rest of us

 

_ donghyuck:  _ im going to bed

 

_ renjun:  _ it’s 4pm

 

_ donghyuck:  _ what about it pissboy

 

_ renjun:  _ :)

 

_ renjun:  _ goodnight donghyuck, enjoy your last sleep :)

 

_ lele:  _ renjun, no

  
_ renjun:  _ renjun yes :)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who hasnt updated in like a month B) enjoy this chapter that has absolutely no purpose except establishing some shit that will go down in a chapter or two :)) be on the lookout for that :))
> 
> i hope u enjoyed!! stay safe drink water and remember that i love you!!!
> 
> -daniel 052819
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/qiansluv)
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/younqbin)
> 
> ps! i forgot to link this when i originally posted it, but [i've uploaded a new fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876940) recently!! it's yuten, and i'm really proud of it, so please show it some love :< thank u!!


	21. me two months ago: wanna see a magic trick? *disappears*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck: that wasn’t very cash money of him

_ jaemin:  _ y’all know when the first day of practice is this week

 

_ renjun:  _ jaemin i literally texted you last night before you went to bed that practice was after school today

 

_ jaemin:  _ that’s on you, u know im forgetful

 

_ jaemin:  _ i have to stay after school to take a test so i’ll miss most of it i think

 

_ renjun:  _ wtv i’ll be late too

 

_ jaemin:  _ dinner afterwards?

 

_ donghyuck:  _ where

 

_ jaemin:  _ i want pizza :(

 

_ jeno:  _ aight are we gonna carpool then

 

_ lele:  _ jisung and i will walk

 

_ jisung:  _ i dont have legs.

 

_ lele:  _ hes grumpy

 

_ jeno:  _ why

 

_ lele:  _ we stayed up until 4am trying to find each other on omegle

 

_ lele:  _ weve seen things.

 

_ jeno:  _ jisung u can nap in the car

 

_ lele:  _ can i nap in the car :(

 

_ jeno:  _ duh!!!

 

_ jaemin:  _ did u guys find each other though

 

_ jisung:  _ yeah and then chenle DISCONNECTED

 

_ lele:  _ I FELL ASLEEP MY PHONE SHUT OFF

 

_ jisung:  _ WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THE BOYFRIEND THING WHERE WE FALL ASLEEP FACETIMING AND THEN WAKE UP LATE

 

_ lele:  _ WE WERENT EVEN FACETIMING

 

_ jisung:  _ OMEGLE VIDEOING THEN

 

_ jaemin:  _ if either one of u speaks using a capital letter again i’m going to find you both and string you up by your ear piercings its too early for this

 

_ jisung:  _ affirmative 

 

_ lele:  _ Yes Sir

 

_ jaemin:  _ CHENLE. WHAT DID I TELL YOU.

 

_ lele:  _ FUCK IM SORRY

 

_ jisung:  _ YOURE DOING IT

 

_ lele:  _ YEAH WELL YOURE DOING IT TOO

 

_ lele:  _ JAEMINS DOING IT

 

_ mark:  _ EVERYBODY CAKM DOWN

 

_ mark:  _ im muting this chat i cant risk my gpa dropping

  
  


_ renjun:  _ awfully bold of you to say that when we all know your gpa has hit rock bottom

 

_ mark:  _ rude and uncalled for. blocked

 

_ donghyuck:  _ renjun ill eat ur face off

 

_ renjun:  _ u already did during that one time we dated

 

_ donghyuck:  _ RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR. BLOCKED

 

_ jaemin:  _ renjun ill eat ur face off

 

_ renjun:  _ id like that actually

 

_ jaemin:  _ RUDNEANT UNCLALED FOR BLCOKED

 

_ jeno: _ renjun ill eat ur face off 

 

_ renjun:  _ you’d like that actually

 

_ jeno:  _ RUD ENADMA UNCELDH AED FORBLOCKED!!!!

 

**_jeno has left the chat!_ **

 

_ lele:  _ you. you killed him

 

_ mark:  _ junnie ur so mean today

 

_ renjun:  _ pay attention to your prof loser

 

_ mark:  _ i’ll fail if i want to i dont even like this major anyways

 

_ mark:  _ insert me hitting the woah and drowning in debt

 

_ jaemin:  _ is there something else u want to major in

 

_ mark:  _ yea

 

_ jaemin:  _ so major in that 

 

_ mark:  _ .

 

_ mark:  _ No?

 

_ jaemin:  _ ????? WHY

 

_ mark:  _ IT’S EMBARRASSING???

 

_ jaemin:  _ try me i’ve seen ur puny bf embarrass himself so many times that literally nothing you do can phase me

 

_ mark:  _ no :)

 

_ mark:  _ im gonna go not fail biology see u bitches

 

**_jeno has joined the chat!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ i can’t BELIEVE none of you added me back

 

_ jeno:  _ you’re supposed to do that when someone dramatically leaves a gc

 

_ renjun:  _ no

 

_ jeno:  _ ur so :((( mean to me :((( what did i ever do to u :((((

 

_ renjun:  _ summer of 2018 intensifies

 

_ jeno:  _ I SAID I WAS SORRY

 

_ jaemin:  _ what happened in summer 18

 

_ renjun:  _ so much

 

_ renjun:  _ too much

 

_ donghyuck:  _ oh can i spill

 

_ renjun:  _ no

 

_ jeno:  _ no

 

_ donghyuck:  _ tea time! jeno confessed his Undying Love for renjun and renjun rejected him so jeno moped all summer until he got a girlfriend and then he and renjun got in an argument over. actually they never told us! but they didnt talk to each other for So Long and then mark got his head out of his ass and made them make up and now they’re chill even though jeno still very obviously likes renjun and now more recently [REDACTED]

 

_ donghyuck:  _ at least i hope theyre chill

 

_ donghyuck:  _ you two are chill right

 

_ jeno:  _ YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

 

_ renjun:  _ lmao he still liiiiiikes me

 

_ jeno:  _ BYE

 

**_jeno has left the chat!_ **

 

**_donghyuck has added jeno to the chat!_ **

 

_ jeno:  _ YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO ADD ME BACK THAT TIME IM FEELING A LOT OF THINGS BUT ABOVE ALL I AM FEELING NOT VERY CASH MONEY. TRADEMARKEMOJI GOODBYE

 

**_jeno has left the chat!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ that wasn’t very cash money of him

 

_ jaemin:  _ so when are you gonna tell him you like him too

 

_ renjun:  _ idk next month prolly

 

_ lele:  _ WHY ARE U SO CASUAL ABOUT IT THAT BOY HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK LET HIM HAVE UR HEART

 

_ lele:  _ BE GOOD TO HIM OR JISUNG AND I WILL DATE HIM

 

_ jisung:  _ ew no thats my brother

 

_ lele:  _ BE GOOD TO HIM OR ILL DATE HIM WITH JISUNGS CONSENT

 

_ jisung:  _ k

 

_ renjun:  _ omg no wait

 

_ donghyuck:  _ heheheheheh screenshot time

 

_ jaemin:  _ NO!!!! RESPECT RENJUN

 

_ donghyuck:  _ okay i wont but mark will i know that

 

_ donghyuck:  _ jenos his bffie u cant expect him to not get receipts the way jeno did that one time when mark and i got together

 

_ jaemin:  _ he was a real one ur right

 

_ renjun:  _ I DONT WANT MARK TO TLEL HIM THE FUCK

 

_ renjun:  _ WHAT DO I DO

 

_ jaemin:  _ SOFTBLOCK MARK

 

_ donghyuck:  _ DON’T SOFTBLOCK MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND

 

**_renjun has kicked mark from the chat!_ **

 

_ donghyuck:  _ I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SOFTBLOCKED MY FUCKING OBYFRIEND

 

_ renjun:  _ OKAY WELL MAYBE IF HE WASN’T LOYAL TO JENO

 

_ lele:  _ MAYBE IF U STOPPED MESSING W JENO

 

_ renjun:  _ MAYBE IF YALL LET ME DO THIS ON MY OWN TIME!!!!!!

 

_ jaemin:  _ IAGREE

 

_ renjun:  _ SHUT UP UR IN THIS BOAT TOO

 

_ jaemin:  _ IM WHAT.

 

_ donghyuck:  _ WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING

 

_ jisung:  _ WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING PERSONAL AFFAIRS ON MAIN

 

_ lele:  _ WHY ARENT WE PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS

 

_ jisung:  _ jeno just asked if we were talking about him still and since im a little bitch i said yes and he asked to be excused and as soon as he stepped into the hallway he just. the door closed and he screamed

 

_ lele:  _ renjun see what ur doing to him

 

_ lele:  _ u broke him hes malfunctioning 

 

_ renjun:  _ im gonna kill u all

 

_ renjun:  _ we were Havin Fun and Joking why did we have to make it Serious yet somehow still memey now i feel bad

 

_ donghyuck:  _ junnie :(

 

_ renjun:  _ yall know i have a plan for everything right

 

_ renjun:  _ just let me do my thing ull see! everythings gonna turn out fine

 

_ jisung:  _ ok

 

_ donghyuck:  _ we trust u <3

 

-

 

**_private chat between jaemin and renjun!_ **

 

_ jaemin:  _ youre lying

 

_ renjun:  _ yeah

 

_ renjun:  _ but only because youre fucking up the plan that i had before

 

_ renjun:  _ nice excuse with the test thing by the way

 

_ renjun:  _ same spot?

 

_ jaemin:  _ same spot. see you there <3

  
_ renjun:  _ <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have Absolutely No Excuse as to why i havent updated this and im very sorry :( i hope to update more regularly soon because i'm planning on sprint writing the rest of this fic this month so i can give consistent updates for the few chapters it has left
> 
> and also. Hehe. i published a [markhyuck fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061031)! it's set in canon idolverse and i'm very proud of it so please give it a click!!!
> 
> stay safe, drink water, and remember that i love you very much!
> 
> -daniel 080719
> 
> [my new twitter](https://twitter.com/markbfs) (my old one got suspended >:/)
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/markdery)


End file.
